How did you find your therapist?

Did you call multiple therapists in your area and meet with more than one to find the right fit? How did you find out about the therapists in your area in the first place? What makes a "good" therapist?

Sorry about all the questions. You can answer any or all of them, or just share anything really that you think would help. I really want/need counseling and I'm unsure about how to go about it or what I should be looking for.

I diagnosed myself as Aspergic and got a formal assessment. That assessment listed two people who might be suitable. I interviewed the closer one and that's who I am with now. I'm only a month in, but I'm going to give him a three-month trial.

I've had several therapists, and in most cases I had a referal or an introduction.

I looked on the psychology today site and picked one off of there. I talked to her on the phone first then went for an appointment. I interviewed several and she was the least objectionable or equally placed with some others and she was closest to my home and work.
I have no idea what makes one good or not.

I called my insurance company and then called based on their location and asked whether they offered the services I needed. I was looking for an eating disorder specialist and someone who does EMDR. My ed specialist is about a 30 min drive and my EMDR/DBT t is almost an hour drive. Unfortunately my insurance will not cover either of them, but they offer a sliding scale. I pay $40 for ed and right now I don't pay anything for DBT individual.
What makes a good t?
I think it takes someone who knows how to deal with your unique situation and has sympathy for others. I also think you have to click with your t. My very first t took the pen I was using away because I was playing with it. This irritated me and I ended up getting a new t. I didn't appreciate being treated like a child. My DBT t and I have a great relationship. I can call or text her at any time and she will get back to me as soon as possible. I even sent her a text at 330 am and she got back to me in the morning.

I hope this helps.

I have only been seeing my therapist for 3 months, I have never done therapy before apart from CBT, I was referred to my therapist by my CPN (community psychiatric nurse). I don't really know what makes a good therapist as I haven't been in therapy long enough to say.

Well, I am seeing 2 Ts at the moment. The T that terminated me out of nowhere with no follow-up sessions in 2010 WAS kind enough to go through a list of new T options with me, and he recommended a T he had worked in an office with before. And that T has been soo nice for 2.5 years, but not the right T for me in the long run (after some of my grieving had ceased); I haven't gotten any less depressed, probably more.

My psychiatrist was alarmed several months back since I seemed so much worse, and told me to get a new T SOON and gave me a list of 3 names (I wanted one who does psychodynamic, which has been the issue with the T I have been seeing...my ex-T and I were doing psychodynamic work before he dropped me, but my current T doesn't do much of that).

Anyway, I met with the first name on the psychiatrist's psychodynamic list and he seemed to know a lot, but I didn't really get a great vibe from his personality. The second, however, was awesome and we seemed to connect well...and he is my new T...although still wrapping things up with the other non-psychodynamic T. I am very glad my psychiatrist was able to give me that list. Ironically, terminating T had recommended my psychiatrist in the first place.

Good luck to you on finding the right person, sometimes you have to have several "one-time appts" even if you get a list together of the right kind of T you want.

I could only see Ts who worked out of hours. One was recommended by someone I worked with, another I was referred to by my gp, the one I have now and the most understanding I rang as a last resort. Meaning if he didn't or couldn't help me in that first session, that was it. I was going to end it. I was lucky and straight away he realised how serious my situation was , unlike the others. It doesn't seem the done thing here to interview Ts, but we don't have the insurance issues over here.

I researched types of therapies before I began looking. I knew that I wanted a therapist who was trained in psychoanalysis, so I contacted the nearest psychoanalytic institute and asked them for a referral.

It was a good fit, I thought. And after beginning,I committed myself to keep going, as I am prone to quitting. She has been my therapist for 6 years.

Psychologytoday.com Did a search by zip code, chose by there bio/picture and if it resonated with me. I used the link to send an e-mail on a Sunday and he answered within 2hrs! I was impressed.

I made a zillion phone calls to addiction groups and explained my specific predicament. I was referred to many organizations until I finally hit on someone who understood what I needed and gave me the names of a few good therapists. I went with the first name she highly recommended and it was a good match.

I think this is a good plan. I am thinking about finding a new T. A friend of mine who used to work in the field suggested I contact local organisations (in my case women's refuge) as they will be used to working with people in that field and will have contacts for the right sort of therapist.

I haven't done it yet, but it seemed like good advice.

I needed someone on my insurance or it wasn't going to be possible. He was one of 4 or 5 in my town on the insurance list. I narrowed it down to his particular group because I knew the pdoc who headed that group had a strong reputation and I figured he wouldn't have slouches in his practice. My T and one other therapist were in that group. I chose my T because he had a PhD while the other was a different degree (can't remember what anymore). I chose wisely as the other T ended up moving elsewhere fairly soon after I started.

I was referred to mine by my old T, when I was no longer able to see her anymore. I have been to quite a few different ones, and the ones I have stayed with (as opposed to only seeing for a couple sessions, for whatever reason) have all come from referrals by other Ts or doctors.

Defining a "good" therapist is difficult because everyone is different. I absolutely love my current T, but I know someone who didn't like her at all. And I have seen Ts that some of my friends have loved that I didn't connect with or didn't like. I think the important thing is to try to figure out what you are looking for in a T, but keep an open mind as well. Definitely go and meet with people, and give it a fair shot (ie. more than one meeting) There are lots of websites that have lists of things you can ask your T at the first meeting, to try to see if they are a good match for you, but I think it really comes down to how you feel about it.

I was referred to my current T by my previous T when he moved away. I started with the previous T through my university's counseling center. He just happened to be the one who did my intake assessment and we clicked. When he knew he was leaving, he went through my insurance and picked 3 T's he thought I could work with. I went to the first one on the list for a few weeks, but decided she was not the T for me (at th end of 3 sessions, I knew more about her life than she did about mine). I called the next T on the list, and knew right from the first phone call that he was the T for me.

I found my T by doing a search on the web for my local area. A family member told me that EMDR may help since I was looking for a T specializing in Trauma. I narrowed down the choices to T's specializing in trauma/emdr and then went by their background, website and pic. It's amazing how many T's do not have a website!

I called the first one on my list, made an appointment for the next day, and that was 6 months ago.

For my Marriage therapist, I hit the web again and looked at the counselor's backgrounds/pictures and websites. I was very specific in the criteria for my MT and found one that met all my criteria. Again, I'm stumped by the number of T's that don't have a website.

the first 2 t's I saw years ago, my parents found and I have no idea how. My current t, I asked my pdoc for for a reference and he gave me a list of like 5 t names and when I was researching them online, I found psychologytoday.com and was reading their profiles on there, and I ran across current t's profile, the words "dream work" just jumped out at me and intrigued me greatly because I never knew there was such a thing, and I have always wondered what my crazy technicolor dreams are trying to tell me! Anyway I called one from pdoc's list and the 'dream work' t, and 'dream work t' is the one that called me back (the other one never did.) We hit it off from that first phone call, and I haven't looked back since! We have developed a strong and caring therapeutic relationship that translated perfectly to phone sessions when she moved to another state 6 months ago. Every time I talk about this I want to add, if you haven't found the right fit yet, KEEP TRYING it is SO worth it! my first 2 t's sucked eggs. But I struck gold with this one.

I did a search on the Psychology Today website for therapists in my area. I had an idea of what I was looking for, so I narrowed my search by my own specific criteria, then opened the remaining profiles in separate browser tabs, reviewed each one, and then decided if it was what I wanted or not. I ended up with just one therapist that fit what I wanted, and she offered free phone consultations. So, I filled out the email form, she sent me an email back to schedule a time, we talked on the phone, and then I scheduled an appointment with her. I honestly don't even remember much of that initial phone conversation - I was too anxious. I just remember getting a really good feeling from her. My T has been awesome, and I'm so glad I found her.

I think what makes a good therapist varies for each person. We all have different needs in a T, and what makes one good for me may not make them a good fit for you. I think you need to feel like the T is a good fit for both your needs and your personality. I think you need to feel like you could trust the T (it's okay if you don't trust them right away) and that you feel like it's someone you can work with on the hard things. If you want to know the qualities that helped me pick my T, I'm happy to share, but I know they may not be the same qualities you would value.

I looked to communities that were close to me and found a centre that had multiple therapists at a reasonable price. I called and asked if anyone had night hours who was a male. They did, so I set up an appointment with that person. When that person left, I was referred to two different people (one by my T and one by my Pdoc). I went to see both once and decided on the one I felt was a better fit, and have been with that T since.

When I researched about anxiety/panic attacks, all the online info said I needed a cognitive behavioural therapist. I couldn't find anyone in my area who practiced that on my own - I only saw someone with a DBT focus via my Pdoc who I saw a year after I started therapy. I didn't mesh well with her and the abruptness of the approach. Maybe if I'd started with that type of approach, I would feel differently, but I'm glad I ended up with the psychodynamic/psychoanalysis type of therapist. I think I would have quit therapy long ago otherwise.

So if I can offer any advice, be open to people you might not have first chosen - you never know who is going to be the best fit for you.

A "good" therapist, in my opinion, is someone who genuinely tries to understand you, and help you understand you. I think there is a lot of healing through simply understanding. Once you understand, you can begin to make different choices.

I was referred by someone.

I Googled "Eating Disorders New York City," and clicked on a site called ED Referral. I had a set of criteria, and I went through the list of Ts to find out which ones matched my criteria. I found two that did, and for whatever reason I called my T instead of the other one. A couple hours later she called back, and I started seeing her.

I don't get how people can just blurt out personal information over the phone to lots of random strangers in the hope of finding one that's right.

That just scares me.

My T was a cotherapist in a short term group I attended. She was also recommended by another T I saw. I went through 6 other therapists trying to find a "good" one, and what I've found is that I know right away if it's a good fit...which I think is a lot about finding a good therapist. Yes they need to be trained to deal with your issues, but the other things I found important were that they had dealt with their own issues, and that I felt at least somewhat comfortable with them. I stayed with several therapists for longer than I really should have trying to make it work when I knew it wasn't really a good fit.

What about Ts who genuine try to understand but don't succeed?

I find it easier to tell a random stranger on the phone - why would they care or how could they hurt you.

Perhaps a bad match as in not the right therapist for the client, or perhaps just a bad therapist if they never match up effort to success.

I think that if you really WANT to understand, you will find a way. If you can't, then then there is something blocking you...and hopefully a therapist would recognize that and work on that for themselves.

......thinking more about this, maybe there are certain things that you can't FULLY understand. Like, if I was gay and my therapist was not, could he really know what it felt like to be gay? No, but he could probably relate to aspects of it. I guess it's how much your therapist is willing to invest in you, effort wise.

That sounds sort of terrible to say, but I think it's true. I could tell when a former therapist didn't really "show up" in sessions. My current one seems ready to work more than me!