Not sure how to feel, yesterday t told me that we should cut down on seeing each other because she wasn't sure it was ethical. I have been seeing her for a year every week. She said that she would love to see me everyday of she could because she loves seeing me but she wasn't sure anymore if it was ethical....Bull S****

[stopdog]

I am sorry she seems to keep changing on you all the time.

Originally Posted by stopdog

I am sorry she seems to keep changing on you all the time.

Me too
She said she was not abandoning me but it doesn't feel like that to me.
I get so close with my ts and then they leave...agh, I hate therapy, it doesnt make any sense anymore. I think my heart is breaking.
I think that this is more to do with t than me, cos she always wanted hugs and the other day when our hands touched it felt strnage like her fingers lingered for a little too long.

[wotchermuggle]

Are you seeing her once a week? A year in therapy is nothing. I wonder what's behind this.....do you call/text/email her a lot?

Maybe it's her own issues...but wtf?

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

Not sure how to feel, yesterday t told me that we should cut down on seeing each other because she wasn't sure it was ethical. I have been seeing her for a year every week. She said that she would love to see me everyday of she could because she loves seeing me but she wasn't sure anymore if it was ethical....Bull S****

I am sorry monalisasmile this sounds so unreasonable of your T

It's not a lot, sure I haven't even started working on most things. We have a good relationship.
I have only text her five times to ask about appt change or time as for email I do email once a month but I pay her for it

[granite1]

i have seen my T for 3 1/2 years once a week . that is not all that unusual. some go to T 3x a week . if she feels this is to much maybe think about another T willing to see you weekly. unless she may think you are to Dependant on her

I am not dependant on her at all and maybe this is why?

[anilam]

What could be unethical there???
Dual RS- is she your teacher too?
I don't understand...
Do you know what she meant/ Have you asked her?

[wotchermuggle]

This is so dreadful monalisasmile. Do you think you could ask her to explain how it is unethical considering.....

a. You still have a lot of things you'd like to work on
b. You feel you have a positive working relationship with healthy boundaries
c. Many people are in therapy for longer than a year

Or....simply ask her to explain what she feels is unethical and let HER come up with the reasons, then use the above as proof that she's out to lunch.

I know I want to rush in with answers when I ask a question. Often, I find letting someone else answer draws them out and let's you really find out the truth.

[likelife]

It's unclear to me too what's unethical here. I'm sorry you keep getting the rug pulled out from under you.

[Moodswing]

Did I miss something? What is not ethical about seeing a therapist once a week?

She doesn't think you need weekly sessions anymore? Doesn't think she's helping you to progress? What?

Tell her where you stand on it. If you feel weekly sessions are still right for you then tell her why. It should be up to you.

I think sometimes - it seems especially here in the UK, with the CBT culture - Ts seem to get into a little panic over the time frame. My T has said to me that 2 years (how long I've now been seeing her) is an 'awfully' long time. A psych I had an assessment with on the NHS said that there was 'no way' a client should be on the books for 2 years - something I personally thought was total BS. You can't put all clients in the same box. Some people just need longer, depending on the issues, how many years damage need undoing, etc - any number of things. I think in a therapy situation where the relationship forms an important part of the healing, it's not going to get done overnight - and I don't think anyone should feel bad about that. Maybe some Ts are just more used to short term clients, and have a little crisis of confidence when someone doesn't fit the mould!? They may wonder if they're doing the client justice? If they're helping enough? I think a good T should ask themselves these questions.. but that they should be careful in communicating any thoughts about it to the client, because it can understandably spark those fears of abandonment, etc...

[Asiablue]

The ethics in question i don't think should be the once a week sessions- that is normal. Maybe she's actually thinking out loud by questioning how your relationship together is deepening and how ethical and helpful it is to continue. At this stage i think you both need a full and frank discussion with each other about your worries, concerns and hopes. The only way this can be resolved is both parties being brave and honest.

[ultramar]

I can't begin to understand this, monalisasmile, there's obviously nothing unethical about seeing a therapist once a week (or two, or three, etc. for that matter)... What's going on?

[growlycat]

So strange!! I hope you can get her to reveal more...I've been in therapy for a very very long time at 1x a week. Once a week is pretty standard.

And you have only seen her for a year? WTF indeed!

Originally Posted by just_some_girl

She doesn't think you need weekly sessions anymore? Doesn't think she's helping you to progress? What?

Tell her where you stand on it. If you feel weekly sessions are still right for you then tell her why. It should be up to you.

I think sometimes - it seems especially here in the UK, with the CBT culture - Ts seem to get into a little panic over the time frame. My T has said to me that 2 years (how long I've now been seeing her) is an 'awfully' long time. A psych I had an assessment with on the NHS said that there was 'no way' a client should be on the books for 2 years - something I personally thought was total BS. You can't put all clients in the same box. Some people just need longer, depending on the issues, how many years damage need undoing, etc - any number of things. I think in a therapy situation where the relationship forms an important part of the healing, it's not going to get done overnight - and I don't think anyone should feel bad about that. Maybe some Ts are just more used to short term clients, and have a little crisis of confidence when someone doesn't fit the mould!? They may wonder if they're doing the client justice? If they're helping enough? I think a good T should ask themselves these questions.. but that they should be careful in communicating any thoughts about it to the client, because it can understandably spark those fears of abandonment, etc...

This is exactly it, here in Ireland it's the same, if you are seeing your t longer than 6 weeks questions will be asked. I don't know how you can do real therapy in such a short amount of time. T s supervisor must have said something to her or she is worried about our relationship. She constantly goes over time, sometimes it could be 30 mins.
Watchermuggle, she is not my teacher so there is no dual relationship.
This is second t who just did this out of the blue. I can't trust any of them anymore. I just wish she was honest and told me real reason why.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

I hate therapy, it doesn't make any sense anymore. I think my heart is breaking.

These are normal feelings on termination.

[CantExplain]

WILD SPECULATION:

Perhaps she thinks it is unethical to spend so much time on one patient when the NHS has a limited budget and so many people need help?

That's the downside of socialised medicine: socialist ethics take precedence over medical ethics.

[scorpiosis37]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

This is exactly it, here in Ireland it's the same, if you are seeing your t longer than 6 weeks questions will be asked. She constantly goes over time, sometimes it could be 30. I just wish she was honest and told me real reason why.

I don't think the issue is seeing your T 1x a week for a year. I think the issue is her lack of boundaries; she should not be going over all the time, often for 30 extra minutes. From your other posts, you've also expressed issues about her excessive self-disclosure and the way she treats you "like a daughter." None of these are things YOU did; they are all examples of her own loose boundaries. Perhaps she is starting to feel uncomfortable with her own behavior and thinks her lack of boundaries is inhibiting your progress.

I'm not saying this is the case, but a therapist is not suppose to terminate the relationship if the client is not progressing. It's a piece of the ethics codes. Some tend to evaluate on a yearly bases...

The bottom line is, you will never know, unless you get specifics from your therapist.

I'm sorry this is happening to you at this time. IMO, I've just started to see you blossom. I hope you and your therapist can turn this around. Good luck to you.

P.S: I guess some posters blame it on your therapist boundaries? Lack there of? I'm hoping that's not be case. I just don't see it for her to speak about terminating.

Correction: therapist are to terminate the relationship if it is not benefiting the client.

[winter4me]

UNETHICAL? Please ask her to explain.

[Perna]

It sounds like your therapist is in one of the 5 disciplines (Disciplines | Irish Council for Psychotherapy) whose ethics include length of time one sees a client; I would ask to move to another type of practitioner if you can, depending on what you are wanting to work on with your therapy?

It could be she is just saying that for what you want, she would be stringing you along and wasting both of your time to continue to see one another so often.

[ultramar]

I'm assuming you had a conversation with your therapist about this beyond her saying "I think it's becoming unethical for us to see each other once a week for a year now" and that was the end of it?

What exactly did she say? And did she say this means the end of therapy, or that there will be some sort of adjustments?

I feel like I'm lacking context here, so I don't know how to respond