[Sometimes psychotic]

Met with the pdoc who does sort of a mini T thing. He asked me about my goals for the next year. I really didn't have any goals. Do normal people set goals annually? I tend to think either five ten years down the road or you know five minutes from now.

I don't know what normal people do. Personally, the only goals I've ever set were graduation and marriage. I can't imagine setting goals every year.

[LadyShadow]

Every year I set the same goal, and every year I don't do it. LOL.

I think small goals are important, not outrageous ones.

Like I started setting goals like 10 pounds every six months instead of 60 pounds a year.

It feels like a battle I'm never going to win if I do it that way, so I am trying another way

[pbutton]

I can't even figure out what the hell my goals for THERAPY are supposed to be. Stupid stinky goals.

[jkbob]

goals are overratted

[Sometimes psychotic]

Thanks guys!

[growlycat]

Short term goals have always been more attainable for me. Breaking down a big issue into "what can I do now, this moment" is a lot more achievable than lofty yearly goals.

Guess that's why most people break New Year's resolutions by February.

[mixedup_emotions]

My T told me that a lot of therapists like to have clients set goals. He doesn't do that, though, because he said that the majority of the time, what ends up being uncovered in therapy lead to ever-changing goals...and the immediacy of some change the timing of others.

[growlycat]

Ever hear of SMART goals? ? As if I'm not neurotic enough, I see a health coach in addition to my T and he uses this method.

Smart stands for:

S specific
M measurable
A attainable
R realistic
T timely

SMART Goal Setting

[growlycat]

By the way, I'm not advocating the website itself, just the page on smart goals.

I'm a bit of a skeptic and I hate the whole "law of attraction" nonsense. So please feel free to ignore that tab on the website link.

Smart goals are pretty grounded

My ex-T tried that goal crap on me once...we didn't get very far with that. He was asking about for the next whole year. As if.
I can't imagine a pdoc asking me that..."Um, find some better meds that actually work??"

[scorpiosis37]

I don't sit down in January and create "Goals-2013" in that fashion (that feels inauthentic to me), but I certainly set goals for myself on a regular basis. I like the idea of SMART goals; I wasn't familiar with the acronym but, after reading what it stands for, I do think my goals fit the SMART criteria. I don't think I would get very far if I didn't have goals; I always need to be working towards something. I have career goals, fitness goals, house/home goals, relationship goals, and so forth. Because I make my goals realistic and I fully commit to them, I always achieve my goals. For me, goals aren't a wish or a dream; they're something very tangible that I know I will systematically accomplish. For instance, I knew from an early age that I wanted to get my PhD. So, after planning out all of the steps necessary to get a PhD in my field, I set a goal for myself to finish my PhD by age 30. Then, I broke that up into steps: I set a date for finishing my coursework, a date for my written exams, a date for my oral exams, a date for the chapters of my dissertation, and so forth. I'm currently 28 and ABD and I'm on track to finish my 30. I get a lot of my sense of self-worth from setting goals and achieving them; it's part of what drive me and keeps me on track. Whenever things are difficult or stressful, focusing on working towards my goals always lifts me up.

[Raging Quiet]

I remember t asked me what my goals were at the beginning, but they have sometimes been met and definitely changed over the years! :/

[Sometimes psychotic]

Originally Posted by scorpiosis37

I don't sit down in January and create "Goals-2013" in that fashion (that feels inauthentic to me), but I certainly set goals for myself on a regular basis. I like the idea of SMART goals; I wasn't familiar with the acronym but, after reading what it stands for, I do think my goals fit the SMART criteria. I don't think I would get very far if I didn't have goals; I always need to be working towards something. I have career goals, fitness goals, house/home goals, relationship goals, and so forth. Because I make my goals realistic and I fully commit to them, I always achieve my goals. For me, goals aren't a wish or a dream; they're something very tangible that I know I will systematically accomplish. For instance, I knew from an early age that I wanted to get my PhD. So, after planning out all of the steps necessary to get a PhD in my field, I set a goal for myself to finish my PhD by age 30. Then, I broke that up into steps: I set a date for finishing my coursework, a date for my written exams, a date for my oral exams, a date for the chapters of my dissertation, and so forth. I'm currently 28 and ABD and I'm on track to finish my 30. I get a lot of my sense of self-worth from setting goals and achieving them; it's part of what drive me and keeps me on track. Whenever things are difficult or stressful, focusing on working towards my goals always lifts me up.

See this is what confuses me...I already have a PhD but never set goals to get it. I just do what I like and by doing so I end up where I want to be. Thats why I just don't understand the goal thing.

[photostotake]

With my current t, no goals were set. I also see a t for my eating disorder. She needed to send a form in for my insurance company that included a goals sheet. We worked on that together last appt and had to sign it before I left. She said it was something the insurance company wanted and I'll have to do another one with the Intensive Day Program as well as their goals for me will be different. Funny, the ins. co. didn't want one from my personal therapist too. Maybe they did, but I never signed anything. Can't imagine what those goals would look like anyway.

[Sometimes psychotic]

Originally Posted by photostotake

With my current t, no goals were set. I also see a t for my eating disorder. She needed to send a form in for my insurance company that included a goals sheet. We worked on that together last appt and had to sign it before I left. She said it was something the insurance company wanted and I'll have to do another one with the Intensive Day Program as well as their goals for me will be different. Funny, the ins. co. didn't want one from my personal therapist too. Maybe they did, but I never signed anything. Can't imagine what those goals would look like anyway.

I guess I understand if its for the insurance company and I did have goals for therapy when I did that... But it was for obvious things like not hearing voices and making more friends and other stuff my disease took away from me. When I'm happy like I am now I tend not to set goals. Goals to me are needs not being met so I try to resolve them as quickly as possible. That or like I said five to ten years down the line like I want to go to art school some time down the line but I'm not doing it this year. I guess I'm just curious as to what a typical goal on an annual basis would be...the only thing I came up with in session was tapering off the meds which is already in planning. I'd also like to start dating again but due to med side effects I have to wait and see if I can taper off and that will take the better part of the year so that wasn't an acceptable goal for me. In fact I don't want to travel or do anything while I'm tapering. Thus this is going to be a really no goal kind of a year.

[photostotake]

Originally Posted by Sometimes psychotic

I guess I understand if its for the insurance company and I did have goals for therapy when I did that... But it was for obvious things like not hearing voices and making more friends and other stuff my disease took away from me. When I'm happy like I am now I tend not to set goals. Goals to me are needs not being met so I try to resolve them as quickly as possible. That or like I said five to ten years down the line like I want to go to art school some time down the line but I'm not doing it this year. I guess I'm just curious as to what a typical goal on an annual basis would be...the only thing I came up with in session was tapering off the meds which is already in planning. I'd also like to start dating again but due to med side effects I have to wait and see if I can taper off and that will take the better part of the year so that wasn't an acceptable goal for me. In fact I don't want to travel or do anything while I'm tapering. Thus this is going to be a really no goal kind of a year.

I do understand what you're saying. Actually my personal t and I did set a goal together last week. I turn 40 this Friday and am in complete denial about it. I've never even pictured myself turning 40, which I know is weird, but anyway, everyone around me wants to celebrate, but I really don't. This past year has been nothing that I want to celebrate. I'm feeling ashamed of where I'm at with my ED and not wanting to be surrounded by family and friends right now. So, instead my t asked me weeks ago where I want to be next year at 41. For weeks I thought about it and only came up with one thing. I told him that I want the smile on my face to be a real one, not one that is hiding everything behind it. He really liked that answer and said that with hard work, that'll be doable by next year. I'm really hoping that's true! It may sound like a simple goal (not to me at all), but one that I hope to achieve beyond my eating disorder treatment goals.