[jkbob]

I know this isn't the best place to post this but I feel like I might get a response here.

Does anyone else do this?

I can actually see/feel myself cutting and get some relief from the fantasy (not the best word here)? Does anyone else do this?

I also can see/feel myself put a gun to my head and pull the trigger when I want to end the bad feelings/thoughts in my head.

No, I don't own a gun and haven't cut in years.

These aren't persistent thoughts. More like the substitute to SI when I'm having a really rough time.

[Miswimmy1]

sorry your having a tough time....

ive fantasized about it, but i know that once i start, it will be hard to stop. hang in there. try and distract in other ways... (appeal to the five senses if you need suggestions- take a shower, listen to music, take a walk and get some fresh air, etc)

[jkbob]

Originally Posted by Miswimmy1

sorry your having a tough time....

ive fantasized about it, but i know that once i start, it will be hard to stop. hang in there. try and distract in other ways... (appeal to the five senses if you need suggestions- take a shower, listen to music, take a walk and get some fresh air, etc)

Thanks. I'm not at risk now. Totally safe. I'm just wondering if other people do/have done this and if they get relief (to some degree) from it or if like you if just makes the urge to SI worse.

I know exactly where you are coming from. Like Miswimmy said try to distract yourself with something healthy (thats a note to me by the way. I tend to distract myself with other self-destructive behaviours)

[likelife]

It makes the urge worse for me.

[content30]

When I was extremely depressed, I had an attempt, nearly died, ended up in the ICU, then step down, then mental health floor. I have never self injured other than that. So, it's not something that I find appealing. I also do not fantasize about sui now that I am doing better. When I was still depressed, things like that would flash into my head, like jumping out of a car or driving my car into something.

I'm sorry that you are still suffering. However, I can offer hope that as you improve these thoughts will, and you will not find comfort in them.

[jkbob]

Originally Posted by Bipolarartist

I know exactly where you are coming from.

I'm not trying to trigger anyone here but I'm wondering. Can you see it? Can you feel it? Can you feel the relief it brings? Like I see the whole thing, me dragging the razor blade across my wrists, the sting of the air on the open cut, the blood running down my arm into the bathtub. Like I see and feel it as if it is happening. But I know it's not.

Yes. I can To certain extent it brings some relief. Not to trigger anyone, but i used to carry a scalpel(in its packet) in my pocket and used to touch it and run my fingers over the outline. that was enough. When the urge got really bad i used to give the scalpel to someone else. Now, like you, I just fantasize