[geez]

I just came back a couple days ago from a retreat place. At this retreat place I signed up for a workshop that was specific to anxiety, depression and how Yoga, meditation and Internal Family Systems can be used to help with that.

It was the most amazing experience of my life.

I could write a book about my experience but in short I wanted to say that in this workshop there were T's, yoga instructors and a handful of people like myself that were there for purely self interest.

I was terrified that I would be 'found out' that I'm not a therapist and people would start to wonder why I was there. I slowly started to realize as we were doing group exercises that being a T or not makes no difference. We are all just a bunch of people with screwed up histories or traumas trying to heal ourselves while learning something to share with our family or in a T's case clients.

While I was there I talked with many T's (one of which was my roommate). I found that the trauma T I met was beyond dedicated to his clients had a very sorted dark sad childhood and without his trauma he couldn't have that level of understanding/compassion for his clients. When he wasn't working however he was a total mess inside trying to work out his trauma filled past (he is now in his 60's)

Here's my 'secret'

In short if you feel like your T is wearing a super hero cape they are however when they leave the office their cape is put away and they are just as vulnerable and scared as everyone else.

[Anne2.0]

Awesome. So glad you had this experience, and shared it with us.

My T is no super hero, just a really great T, but still figuring out how to do his own work.

"Just as scared as everyone else". Not particular fact. They are no doubt human, but my fears are vastly more out of proportion than my T's level of fear.

[geez]

Originally Posted by _Mouse

"Just as scared as everyone else". Not particular fact. They are no doubt human, but my fears are vastly more out of proportion than my T's level of fear.

((Mouse)) So sorry to hear you are struggling so much. My post wasn't intended to make it a compare and contrast just stating that as human beings we all have our problems. No one's pain should be equated, discounted or compared to anothers as they are the only ones who are experiencing it. We all have our ways of expressing our fears and pain.

If I understand correctly it's the T's job to be a blank slate and not bring their own fears, insecurities, pain into the clients therapy.

I wish you lots of healing and lots of safe hugs.

[refika]

Originally Posted by geez

Here's my 'secret'

In short if you feel like your T is wearing a super hero cape they are however when they leave the office their cape is put away and they are just as vulnerable and scared as everyone else.

Thank you SO much for this! I've been having the problem with putting my T up on a pedestal thinking he is "perfect". The past few sessions I've been struggling with realizing T isn't perfect, but rather just human.

This quote drives that home for me. I think I'm going to print it out and bring it in when I see T again.

Originally Posted by geez

((Mouse)) So sorry to hear you are struggling so much. My post wasn't intended to make it a compare and contrast just stating that as human beings we all have our problems. No one's pain should be equated, discounted or compared to anothers as they are the only ones who are experiencing it. We all have our ways of expressing our fears and pain.

If I understand correctly it's the T's job to be a blank slate and not bring their own fears, insecurities, pain into the clients therapy.


I wish you lots of healing and lots of safe hugs.

Huh? I'm not suffering 'so much' I was pointing out that everyone has different levels of fears. Just because one therapist hasn't completed their own healing doesn't equate to all therapist being the same. As I pointed out, yes they're human like us but I don't believe I'd want a T having the level of wounds a client has.

[geez]

Originally Posted by _Mouse

Huh? I'm not suffering 'so much' I was pointing out that everyone has different levels of fears. Just because one therapist hasn't completed their own healing doesn't equate to all therapist being the same. As I pointed out, yes they're human like us but I don't believe I'd want a T having the level of wounds a client has.

Thank you for clarifying Mouse. I guess the last part of your statement I find different from my opinion however if my T is a good one I wouldn't know they had the same depth of a wound as I've suffered. They would be good at containing 'my stuff'. Unfortunately I've had a T in the past that couldn't keep her own 'stuff' out of my appointments so I fired her.

[rainbow8]

Thanks for sharing, Geez. I'm glad it was a great experience for you!That's the kind of conference my T has gone to, especially when she was more into IFS. I think Ts who do IFS, yoga, meditation, SE, and EMDR have a special "something". I know other Ts can be wonderful too, but there's something about Ts who do those things. I think they are closer to their clients--maybe more in tune with them. Or maybe not. I could just be lucky that's how my T is!

I certainly know mine is human now that she is getting divorced! Hmm. It takes her down from that pedastal for sure.

If you want to discuss IFS, feel free to send me a PM. I love IFS and wish my T would do it more with me like she did the first year I saw her.

[geez]

Originally Posted by rainbow8

Thanks for sharing, Geez. I'm glad it was a great experience for you!That's the kind of conference my T has gone to, especially when she was more into IFS. I think Ts who do IFS, yoga, meditation, SE, and EMDR have a special "something". I know other Ts can be wonderful too, but there's something about Ts who do those things. I think they are closer to their clients--maybe more in tune with them. Or maybe not. I could just be lucky that's how my T is!

I certainly know mine is human now that she is getting divorced! Hmm. It takes her down from that pedastal for sure.

If you want to discuss IFS, feel free to send me a PM. I love IFS and wish my T would do it more with me like she did the first year I saw her.

I'll be sure to PM you! and perhaps your last sentence you should say to your T

Im glad it was a good experience for you!
That statement is very very true-- T's sre not superheroes. Theyre just like everyone else. My T is awesome, but I also know that she is just like everyone else. I have seen her have really bad days, seen her get scared, lose her temper with people, i know some weird quirks she has, some things about her that are weird, she has some fears, she has had many heartbreaks, etc. She also has many strengths.
I am also married to a T, who is very much not a superhero, but is a great T.

I switch between idealsing my T and trying to think of him doing normal human stuff. Sometimes the two conflict so much i almost have a meltdown.