Query

Ok, my t is away and she said to me that I should still be able to feel she cares when she isn't there. Since I can't always feel that when she is in the same room I not holding my breathe on this one. Anyway she was saying I should be able to hear her voice in my head. When I said I couldn't she asked me to think of my children and hear their voices. Anyway to cut a long story short I couldn't. I could see them, I could imagine something they might say but I can't imagine or hear them saying it.
I spoke to a friend who said they couldn't either but very curious if other people can. Be grateful to hear if you can or can't as really interested in this now

I have no problem hearing just about anyone's voice if I am pretty familiar with them. That would include husband, children, parents,etc.; my therapist and pdoc; even friends and co-workers.

I can hear my mother still (this is not a bad thing - I can hear her say some things and be comforted) and I remember being dashed when I would hear my grandmother and realize it was just in my head.
I cannot hear the the therapist and would not want to as she is not a source of reassurance or whatever useful things for me in terms of what she says.

Yes, I can easily do this with most people - my H, parents, T, ex-T, pdoc, my sister.

Yeah, I can easily hear my T and other people in my head.

I'm like Chris and can hear just about anyone who has meant something to me; if I can't hear them clearly, the words, I can at least remember "the situation" I am thinking of and the "gist" of what they said. Maybe just imagining what your children would say is close enough; can you imagine what your T would say? That counts, to me, as my T saying it.

I do have a couple specific situations when my T said something and the something she said had meaning so I use it in other places in life. When I'm complaining/objecting I can hear her say, "Not with THAT attitude!" which makes me smile and there's the time she explained to me that, "I don't think the people in your group are out to get you" (I had, unbeknownst to myself, felt they were and was acting on it; the realization they weren't, after she "told" me, changed my behavior and feelings).

Mostly conversations that resulted in "a ha!" moments are in my head and can be used/applied to other situations; do you have times you realized something with T you can use that way?

My T and I were discussing flashbacks and grounding, and I said, "That's not my world now." T said, "Hey, you stole my line!" I think sometimes just knowing what the other person would say is enough. Maybe you don't have to "hear" them in your head.

Interesting question Willowleaf!

I had never really thought about it before, but when I tried it just now, it seemed I was like you - I can imagine what they would say, and I can actually picture them saying it, but I can't really "hear" their voice in my head. Maybe it has to do with how we process information or something...

Weird isn't it. I can sometimes imagine the sort of things people would say but to me it doesn't make me feel closer to them. It just feels like talking to myself!
I'm glad I'm not the only one. She said something about shutting them out on purpose when I was young as I have a very good auditory memory, but I'm not sure. Thinking it may be something you can either do or not. Really appreciating your replies as genuinely interested in this.

When we try to make it happen in the moment it becomes too contrived. But sometimes it's the surviving the absence that represents the inner T.

I am forever making up imaginary conversations in my head. But I can't actually hear the voices - the way I feel my T caring when he's not there is by replaying things he's actually said to me.

Interesting question. In trying it right now, I feel like I can *barely* make out the other person's voice, but it's kind of fleeting. I tend to think of myself as having a good auditory memory in general. Or at least I learn better through auditory rather than visual means.

Do you think your T would be willing to make a recording for you? Or provide some other means to help with internalizing her caring?

I am able to think in the tone of someone else's voice, but I rarely do. I do think of things T has said and that I think that she would say about a situation. I have notes of my big takeaways from T and some of her "isms."

Maybe you could write some things T has said down to read for comfort in her absence? Perhaps T could leave a voicemail for you to listen to--that would definitely be in her voice.

I can always hear ts voice in my head

That makes you angry?

I wonder if people who are more auditory learners have an easier time of this?

Yes because sometimes it is all I hear, everyday all day

Ah, gotcha

I wish I could hear my kids' voices more clearly. I can call to mind the baby's not yet verbal noises, though

Awh, I love the sounds babies make especially their laughing