[Raging Quiet]

I'm due to have some invasive tests at the hospital and my T has offered to come with me (which is very kind of her). I don't think she means to come into the actual appointment but to wait outside with me and my husband (long story)

While the inner child in me loves this support, I'm worried about seeing T outside of the therapy room and the wreck I wil be waiting before I go in; I don't know how it will change things.

Do any of you have any experiences of this, if you would be so kind to share?

My T never offered and I've had to go it alone (no husband or anyone else to accompany me). And I thought I had a good T. Gotta wonder now .

I think it sounds like a great idea to have her with you. Don't worry about changing things, I think it will bring you closer. Best wishes for good results.

[Willowleaf]

Gosh that's difficult. Part of me would adore it and part be really worried about boundaries and difference in relationship etc. What a wonderful offer though. I would go with your gut reaction. If having her there would make a difficult time easier for you go for it. She wouldn't have offered if she didn't think it might help you. Sorry I've not got any experience of this and hope it goes ok. It sounds a tough experience

[Inedible]

It is probably a unique enough situation that you can bend the usual rules. I'd probably say "yes" and go from there, to avoid discouraging similar kindness in the future.

[mixedup_emotions]

Yes, my T has offered to go with me to some medical procedures.....to be in the room, if it was allowed....but I declined the offer. I told him that it would feel too triggery, too much of a reminder of why I was so scared in the first place....but I did ask him to leave me a voicemail on my cell phone that I could listen to if I started panicking. That was very helpful to me.

[stopdog]

I can see the woman I see offering (if not offering to me, offering to other clients. Not me because I am sort of not keen on others being around during difficult things. I don't mean she would just come up with not me out of the blue, but rather as respecting me) or being willing to consider such an option if asked. If it sounds useful to you, why not take her up on it = I would try to clarify payment, general expectations, exactly what the therapist's role will be etc beforehand so as to not have those concerns add to the concerns of the actual procedure.

That was very kind of your t but if it will make you more nervous maybe you should reconsider her offer for your own sake. If it will make you more anxious and you are having those tests it might not be the best plan?

[anilam]

If you think it would help then why not?
I like to go through difficult stuff alone. My T knows that so he's never offered to come with but I know he'd done that for other clients.
However, I would ask her about the payment (my T does that for free but I can imagine some T wanting to get payed for that).

[Asiablue]

My old T offered to come with me to a dr's appointment for an exam i find very difficult. I accepted her offer but in the end i couldn't face going and then my and the old T stopped working together.

[likelife]

That's very sweet of your t to offer. I can't imagine mine offering, though she was supportive via email when I went through a difficult procedure.

I'd personally find it difficult to have my t and my husband there at the same time, but that's probably just my thing.

If you're nervous about having her there, maybe you could ask for some kind of "transitional object" from her to bring to the appt?

[Raging Quiet]

Originally Posted by likelife

If you're nervous about having her there, maybe you could ask for some kind of "transitional object" from her to bring to the appt?

That's a great idea, thank you x

[Raging Quiet]

I wondering if anyone had any updated experiences with this question?

It's getting closer to my tests and my imagination is in overdrive

[ScrewedUpMe]

Hi Asiablue,

I don't have any experience in the sense of medical appointments, but T offered to come with me to a mental health assessment for a course that I was going to start doing. I really didn't know whether to take her up on it or not, whether it would change things, whether I would make a fool of myself and not want to see her again afterwards, if I would even be able to make small talk with her outside of the therapy room etc. I decided I would take her up on the offer and she was very supportive. It was great to have her there. I know thought that this is different from a medical appointment. I also worried about payment. I offered to pay for her time, i.e the time getting to the appointment, the time spent there and then travelling home. She said she would leave it up to me and that it wasn't about the money for her. She also said by not paying, it might make me able to believe her more when she said she really cares about me. I graciously accepted and did not pay her.

Good luck with whatever you decide. I too was nervous about having my husband and T there so I just took T in the end. Hope it all works out for you.

SuM

My current t offered, and I declined because I wanted to feel "independent" and like I could do it myself without needing her. In the end, I wish I had let her come with because I was a total mess afterwards.

[Miswimmy1]

No doc appointments but t has offered and has come to school meeting with me (eg I had a meeting with the academic dean that I was nervous about)... It was nice to have the support since a lot of people don't understand mental disorders and/or acute anxiety. T helped explain things in a way that a normal person would be able to understand and relate to and that was the most helpful.

The only suggestion I have is to make boundaries very clear. What's going to happen. Etc. because it can too easily blur boundaries when seeing t outside the office. That has been an ongoing issue in my therapy and it hasn't been a fun experience getting it straightened out

Yes. My t and i have the same dr ( she sent me to hers, because she knew the dr would be very sweet and gentle) but so far i havent needed her to come, and plus, she has been out of the country for such a long time. So i kust havent gone back to the dr for a long while. I will wait til she gets home. Whenever that is.

[nessaea]

I think it's amazing that your T offered, and I think you should go with your gut on this one - if you want her there, then say yes, if not, then say no.

If you do say yes, it might be helpful to have a conversation with her in advance of what kind of role you would like her to have when she is there; would you want her to talk to you and be supportive, talk about random things and be more of a distraction, or just sit and be present? I think knowing what you want/need from her and talking it over ahead of time would really help.

I don't have any experience with anything similar, so I don't have any personal advice to give you. I am one of those people who refuses to have anyone with me at medical things, especially if it is invasive or scary. I hate being vulnerable in front of people, so I won't even let my boyfriend come with me. (Plus I don't see that as something my T would ever offer, anyway )

I hope it goes well for you, and please keep us updated on how you are doing!

*hugs*

I think it's great of your t to do that. My therapist met me at the hospital when I was being admitted to their psych ward and was very supportive and kind and just caring and there for me. It helped SO much because I was all alone.