Ts cancellations, rescheduling, etc..

T cancelled my appointment with him last minute on Friday.. Like, I think a half an hour before my appointment was supposed to start. When he called me, he said.. I know it really seems like I cancel a lot on you (I think he does), but he said he wasn't feeling well and that he wouldn't be much help for me by the time I got there for my appointment.

I get it, he gets sick, he has back issues that keeps him away from sometimes, he has a son with a chronic illness, that I am sure that may have kept him away more than once. My appointments are also always the last one of the day and many times they are on Fridays.. I can see how tempting it would be to cancel and get out of work before 5 on a Friday.. Sometimes I wonder about that. If I had to estimate it- I would say in the last year and a half T has cancelled on me 6 times.

Also, if he isn't cancelling on me, he is calling and asking if I can come in earlier... I don't mind it so much, but it leaves me scrambling to see if I can get my babysitter a little earlier than planned. Anyways- I say all of this to ask.. Does stuff like this bother you? is cancelling 6 times too much? Does your T call and ask you to come in earlier or later? What do you think?

That would bother me a lot. I have enough trouble when he's running late. My T only canceled me once and that was when we had a hurricane and the governor implemented a no-drive rule.

Can you talk to him about how you feel when he does that?

It would bother me a lot too. Is there any earlier time or day that could work for you instead? The one I see has cancelled three or four times in a year for sickness, injury and her dog being at her office at the time of my appointment. She usually emails me early in the morning of the day of the appointment.

I was going through a really tough time last year... and after only being back one week after missing 3 in a row due to vacations (his and mine) my xT cancelled on me that day (a few hours before appt) due to a migraine. I ended up quitting therapy later that day via email because of it... not because he canceled but because of how upset I became over it... It made me think I was becoming too dependent on him...

I understand how upsetting it can be. Once xT asked me via text a week before the appt if I could come in a different day and time because he had another client who couldn't come in usual time and wanted to know if I could swap. I couldn't because of day care issues but said I would give up my spot... he said no he would work something different out for other client. Then the day of the appt that he asked me to switch, he cancelled my appt. I thought for sure that he gave my appt to the other client. I actually drove 20 minutes to see if his car was in the driveway. To see if he lied to me. I never told him that I did that.

So yeah I get it.

Oh ya... don't get me started on how late he runs. I suppose talking about how I feel when I get cancelled on would be good. It makes me feel like I can't count on him, that he won't be there when I REALLY need him!

I maybe able to get some earlier appointment as the summer is coming and I won't be working, I will see what I can work out.


It is a terrible feeling.. especially this last time, because I had done work in between then and my last session, I was going to this appointment with stuff to do!!

How am I supposed to raise it as an issue though. If he isn't feeling well, if his back is giving him problems.. I can't expect him to be there.. I am not supposed to go to work with a fever, should Ts be different? He did say though, that if I needed anything before my next appointment to just get in touch with him.. It was good to hear that!

Well Healed I think you can talk about how it makes you feel without expecting him to do anything different. So yes if he is in too much pain to concentrate on his clients than you would expect him to cancel. But you can still have your own feelings about him cancelling...

Maybe that doesn't explain what I'm trying to say. I guess I mean its probably good to discuss our feelings and what it brings up for us without expecting our Ts to come into work when they are sick...

ETA: not that I ever did that...but I could see where it might help me to deal with those feeling if I could have talked about them...

I think the rescheduling would bother me more than him cancelling because he's ill - it's been proven that having a steady timeslot can really help the success of therapy.

If my T cancelled this much, and wanted to move things around, I'd be looking for another T in all honesty - it would really upset me.

The most recent trauma t that I was seeing canceled a lot, and yes, it bothered me. I had been seeing her for mos and she canceled 13 times, a lot of them at the last minute. The last time she cancelled she told me, "I don't have my book, but I will call you back to reschedule". She didn't call me back for 5 weeks. I never went back, mostly because I wouldn't run a business that way, and I don't have a lot of respect for people who do.

Anyways...about you...I understand that he has things going on that he can't help (his back, his kid), it may be something you just have to accept about him. Maybe you can ask him if he can reschedule sooner when he cancels? So you aren't going a long time without an appointment? And I think changing your standing to a different time might be helpful too, just to see if he cancels less frequently.

Oh dear, this would bother me too. It is unproffesssional.my t told me she was rushed into hospital once and checked herself out because she couldn't bare to cancel on her clients. She said its not acceptable and has never cancelled or asked to change appt and this has helped me so much is knowing she is there and it is consistent.
How would you feel about seeing another t ? Because I doubt this will ever change if it is down to health issues.

My t has never cancelled on me, thank goodness. I would flip out. Cancelling 6 times is way too many times, I think. T has never asked me to reschedule either.