Sometimes I feel no different to a hamster in a cage. Scared, vulnerable, starved of contact. I feel like therapists like to observe us, they are not sure how to treat the hamster, how to gain its trust so they try out different approaches until something works and the little mite trusts it's captor.
The hamster then puts all it's trust into its captor, relies on him for food, water, survival and eventually to be set free into a big bad world.
Where we are left to find our own way and learn how to feed ourself.
Maybe I am missing the pint here but sometimes I feel like a lab rat- experimented on and set free burned and injured after an experiment went wrong.

[Mapleton]

Without being able to mindread... and no matter how good a therapist is, they can't mindread, therapy has to be about trial and error.

Obviously training, experience and intuition help, but no... I think you're basically correct. I'm very scared about the self-reliance part, being I don't trust myself, but I cognitively know that other people can.

I know I felt a tinge of jealousy thinking how self-sufficiently successful all of the other people, my therapist included, are.

But in therapy we are NOT in a cage. We go about our lives, take care of ourselves, hopefully have other personal interactions. We really don't rely on a therapist that we see one hour a week for our survival. The therapist doesn't "set us free into a big bad world" because that world (our life) doesn't cease to exist while we are in therapy. Hopefully in therapy we are learning those skills that will make our world an easier place.

[unaluna]

That's the - what's the french word - stage at 18 months where a child starts to explore the world but wants to still be able to run back to mommy when he gets scared. If mommy gets mad at him for leaving and doesn't negotiate this stage properly, the child remains afraid. Reparenting by the t - which doesn't mean parenting per se but maybe talking about ways we were undermined? - can give us more confidence?

It's an analogy not reality. Some people may feel trapped in a cage going around in circles on the running wheel hamsters have. Repeating patterns in real life, not even aware they exist until the therapist points them out.
You might not rely on your therapist but a lot of people do, that's why we are all different and in therapy for different reasons.
Exactly, in therapy we do learn these skills, the skills that set us free and to enable us to cope ourselves and for some their t is the interaction they have.

Originally Posted by hankster

That's the - what's the french word - stage at 18 months where a child starts to explore the world but wants to still be able to run back to mommy when he gets scared. If mommy gets mad at him for leaving and doesn't negotiate this stage properly, the child remains afraid. Reparenting by the t - which doesn't mean parenting per se but maybe talking about ways we were undermined? - can give us more confidence?

Yes, that's it hankster exactly! It reminds me of the Stockholm syndrome lol

[tinyrabbit]

Personally I feel more like a frightened kitten that's been rescued and needs to be tamed!

Originally Posted by tinyrabbit

Personally I feel more like a frightened kitten that's been rescued and needs to be tamed!

TR, it is the same thing only in reverse
I don't know which is worse.

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

Yes, that's it hankster exactly! It reminds me of the Stockholm syndrome lol

Of course - the stockholm syndrome is just the negative introject. Omg that's what parenting is all about!! Brainwash parenting anyway.

[Asiablue]

OR we are little birds with broken wings and we stay with out T's to help us mend our hurts and help us become stronger with the faith that they'll let us go when we are ready to be free again.

[stopdog]

Interesting. I do not see myself as small and wounded and I certainly don't see the therapist as out to help care for me.
I see it as I go every week and hand the woman money to experiment at/on me and I get to leave after about an hour of torture which I endure as it may be useful in some way which has not yet been revealed. The parts I find useful are not the parts the therapist puts forward as being the point she is shooting for.

[tinyrabbit]

Originally Posted by Asiablue

OR we are little birds with broken wings and we stay with out T's to help us mend our hurts and help us become stronger with the faith that they'll let us go when we are ready to be free again.

I like this

Originally Posted by stopdog

Interesting. I do not see myself as small and wounded and I certainly don't see the therapist as out to help care for me.
I see it as I go every week and hand the woman money to experiment at/on me and I get to leave after about an hour of torture which I endure as it may be useful in some way which has not yet been revealed. The parts I find useful are not the parts the therapist puts forward as being the point she is shooting for.

Experiment on or at yes I agree on that some are wounded some or not and others are left wounded after the experiment!

Originally Posted by Mapleton

Without being able to mindread... and no matter how good a therapist is, they can't mindread, therapy has to be about trial and error.

Obviously training, experience and intuition help, but no... I think you're basically correct. I'm very scared about the self-reliance part, being I don't trust myself, but I cognitively know that other people can.

I know I felt a tinge of jealousy thinking how self-sufficiently successful all of the other people, my therapist included, are.

I feel more than a tinge of jealousy, I feel broken and like there is something wrong with me! My therapist assure me there isn't but I don't believe her!

Originally Posted by hankster

Of course - the stockholm syndrome is just the negative introject. Omg that's what parenting is all about!! Brainwash parenting anyway.

brainwash parenting lol, you could create your own style of therapy Hankster with this

Originally Posted by Asiablue

OR we are little birds with broken wings and we stay with out T's to help us mend our hurts and help us become stronger with the faith that they'll let us go when we are ready to be free again.

I love this, it's a more positive way of looking at it

[archipelago]

The French word is rapprochement and refers to the beginning of independence when the child needs a "secure base" from which to move out and explore the world. I do think that stages of therapy are like this. But I don't see it as an experiment or a cage.

I do think it is possible and even likely that some therapists make it seem that way though. I know this from being at a school for psychologists. It was so scientifically oriented that I wondered how people would deal with real humans. I'm glad I'm not there because it was a bad model. So I can imagine if others are trained in that model, they would not be the kind of therapist I would want to either be or see.

[mylifeart]

I feel the exact same way...
I don't know why it seems not to be a big deal to people,,, we are human beings not lab rats .. only if they knew what it felt like , some think they have some sord of privleage to do this to cleints because they have the degree and we do not...
I feel ya.

[Mapleton]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

I feel more than a tinge of jealousy, I feel broken and like there is something wrong with me! My therapist assure me there isn't but I don't believe her!

I was just thinking about two Wednesday's ago, going thru 3 hours of talking about my life, and I was holding stuff together pretty well, but I just felt tears bubbling up and I couldn't stop them towards the end. In retrospect, I think that's probably the same pattern I've had all my life with hurt, jealousy, humiliation, you name it. I've gotten skilled at denying the emotions.

I think the fact that you feel strongly is a good thing, mls. Better expressed than repressed.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

Sometimes I feel no different to a hamster in a cage. Scared, vulnerable, starved of contact. I feel like therapists like to observe us, they are not sure how to treat the hamster, how to gain its trust so they try out different approaches until something works and the little mite trusts it's captor.
The hamster then puts all it's trust into its captor, relies on him for food, water, survival and eventually to be set free into a big bad world.
Where we are left to find our own way and learn how to feed ourself.
Maybe I am missing the pint here but sometimes I feel like a lab rat- experimented on and set free burned and injured after an experiment went wrong.

I felt exactly like that for the first year.

[WikidPissah]

I honestly think you give the T too much credit. They aren't scientists, or masters of human behavior.