[Alishia88]

I don´t know why, but for a long time I have felt the urge to share more about me and my life with my t.

I really want her to know about me and my life.
And I mean, really know me, as my best friend or close friend knows me.

I would want her to know what exactly happened to me the last few years
not just the key points, that she keeps mixing up.

I don´t know why but it´s important to me that she knows wether my father died when I was 17,19 or 21. this is a difference to me because at 19 I was still in school.

I want her to know what my boyfriend does and what his family is like, because that´s all part of my history, and I want her to know my friends´ names that I have lost...
I want her to know what I did and when the last 4 years.
I want her to know about my thoughts and what events led me to be where I am now.

I want her to really know me, as a person.

Not like in a therapeutic way "had emotionally absent parents"
"sister has problem with mother, too"
"has boyfriend since 17 years old"

I feel like telling her a lot about me and my life but she doesn´t seem to find that very important. Otherwise she would ask me more perceise questions about my life and the people in it.

So I´m not sure if I can just sit down and start talking about all these things that might be of insignificance to her or might not even seem important for her to know for the therapy.

I don´t want to bore her or waste time.

But I think there´s a reason I feel the need to do this.

I think it might have to do with depersonalisation feelings I have experienced for the last 4 years. I think maybe I need someone to really "know" me so I can "know" or feel that i know myself, again.

Or maybe I want to connect the pieces with telling so many details about my story.

So.... is it okay to just do that, you think....?

[tealBumblebee]

I think it will be worth doing. Because you so strongly desire to do so. Maybe, if you feel that she won't really respond in a desired way, you can ask her to not to respond at all until you finish. Maybe you can try telling her that although these things may seem insignificant to her, they mean a great deal to you. And her knowing these things mean a great deal to you. Maybe you could tell her that not telling her these things causes an emotional disconnect with her, and you want to be able to fully unburden yourself on her. Maybe no one has just ever taken the time to listen to it all. To see exactly how your world is. Maybe you can ask her to take a second to step outside of her world, and try to see things from your eyes, allowing you to be open and honest and feeling your way through these memories with her by your side. Because that's important to you. I think mostly anything that is important to you should be worthy of some kind of discussion - after all, therapy is about your views, your life, your emotional well being.

[unaluna]

I think it's okay. My prev t/pdoc teased me that he was going to write out an organization chart on his smart phone to help him keep track of my coworkers. I told him I would just send him the website. But I think the fact that he teased me was to show me that he recognized how important these people were to me. Maybe too important in my case. Still he was validating that he was holding what I was giving him.

Eta: that his offer stuck in my mind more than ten years later shows how significant it was to me, that I found it a sign of caring.

I think its okay to do!! My t knows about the people i work with, people in my family, my hobbies, etc. One day i even asked her(i dont recall how it came up) " guess what i have in my lunch box for tomorrow!!?" And she was all like well, its not friday yet so you dont have your diet coke cuz you only drink that on fridays, so i bet you have your grape juice, and i know you have your apple, lets see, tomorrow is thursday and you havent had any pizza all week so i bet youre having pizza tomorrow..." Etc. She knows my life well enough to guess what i eat! And i tell her things like when we go to the zoo/ park/ whatever, she knows my dogs names, etc. So yes definitely ok to share all those things.

[refika]

Alishia,

I could have written that post myself! I am struggling with the same issues with my T now that we got most of the emotional baggage and trauma incidences out in the open. It's like I want my T to know what I like doing in my free time, what my favorite color is, what my hobbies are. Today I was talking about doing work in my yard and he said "oh, so you like spending time outdoors"? My first thought was well DUH everyone who knows me knows that. Then I realized he really doesn't know me all that well, but I WANT him to.

So, I say go for it and I'll be there right besides you doing the same with my T when I see him again next week. Just tell T you want them to get to know you better, as the whole person and not just the emotional side they see. I think it's perfectly okay and really quite necessary. I've been struggling with dissociation/depersonalization all my life and, like you mentioned, I think telling T more about you can help them help YOU better.

The most important thing to remember about therapy is its YOUR time to do what YOU want with nobody telling you otherwise.

[Fuzzybear]

[Victoria'smom]

First year of therapy my T got over 100 pages of typed single spaced, 10" font, and 1/2" boarders about my important life events and anything I didn't say in session or thought about session. I think it's imperative that your T knows you so s/he can help.

[stopdog]

I don't think the actual detail is what some therapists find useful for whatever is that they do (if anything). But telling the therapist may be useful for you.

[tealBumblebee]

Originally Posted by Miguel'smom

First year of therapy my T got over 100 pages of typed single spaced, 10" font, and 1/2" boarders about my important life events and anything I didn't say in session or thought about session. I think it's imperative that your T knows you so s/he can help.

Lol I had to laugh on this one, because I feel like i'm following in your footsteps on this one haha.

[BonnieJean]

If you want to do tell her those details I think it important to do so. My t knows a lot of mine but I do give her reference points when I bring people up again. I imagine it would be very hard to remember all of every one;s details. She does know my father died when I was 2 and that my mom died when I was 19. Those are too important for her to forget.