[rainbow8]

We have a new DBT leader and she's very different from our former one. She asks us more questions and it seems a little bit more like therapy than the way the group was led with our other leader. She also has each of us talk about all the homework; the other leader often had group discussions so we didn't have to share everything. She's more experienced with DBT than our former leader, and has been a T for years. Getting used to someone's different style and personality takes time, though.

Actually, I like it this way better, and I like the new leader! So, we're on the personal effectiveness module and when it was my turn I talked about wanting to improve my marriage. I said what I wrote down in my book, which was kind of personal. I even told my age, which I never do, and that embarrassed me!! When I said how I've made my T more important than my H, the new leader asked me something about that. I don't remember what. We haven't had individual meetings with her, so she doesn't know much about any of us except what we say in the group. When I was finished with my homework, she said to "take a breath". I hadn't realized how stirred up I was getting! I felt like I was too honest, and felt exposed.

Oh, I remember. She asked me about my T suggesting that I quit because I needed to work on my marriage. I got about that.

There is a co-leader who is learning DBT, and she's been with our group for several months. She understands me, and I was glad she was there. I'm always honest in the group, but this time my honesty made me blush. I feel comfortable in the group, too. Maybe it was because of the new leader who doesn't know me, even though I like her.

It's interesting that I'm getting used to the idea of terminating therapy! I don't know if I'm in denial, or if I'm using wise mind. It might all come crashing down on me again as the time gets closer, but right now I feel like I'm going to get a lot out of these next months of therapy.

[gayleggg]

Good for you! Glad the group therapy is working for you and you are comfortable.

Rainbow,
So proud of your break through today. You are like a glorious rainbow after a rainy day as the sun comes out. I wanted to congratulate you for being so honest to yourself and your group but most importantly yourself, I think the more honest you are being with yourself about putting t before your husband the more you are getting used to terminating with t and wanting your marriage to work.
There is something liberating about being honest in a group. I remember a few nights into my t training and we were doing an exercise and we had to tell the group about our partners- something I always avoid talking about because I am still not out to many people. So I weighed up all the options and just went a head and said "I am gay" and everyone was so supportive to me and they have never treated me any diffferent. I felt so good for being honest and felt that i was normal for once in my life, I hope you can experience some of the euphoria of being totally honest with yourself and others. I know you can feel exposed and raw and this is a horrible feeling but people admire total honesty and most people are so busy thinking about their own issues that they don't think about ours.
The feelings of shame and vulnerability are mostly your perception of yourself, nobody elses so please go easy on yourself and always be proud because this is a huge step for you x

[Wren_]

Rain it sounds really encouraging and that your new DBT T really has an idea about what they are doing and will hopefully help you I would feel really exposed as well and not like that part; but in other ways it seems to be helping you