In therapy, should you quit while you're ahead?

First off, if this makes anyone feel bad, I'm truly sorry. I know everyone has to do what's best for themselves.

I've had a few months of good therapy and I feel stable and able to enjoy each day. Life is good for me right now.

At the same time, I learned how some trauma from early in my life is affecting me today. The next step is to dive into treating my PTSD, which explains so many of my anxiety and sui and self-injury symptoms.

But, just knowing what I'm dealing with is already hugely relieving. And I'm wondering if it is diminishing returns from here on out. Do I quit while I'm ahead? Do I keep going?

I'm paying out of pocket and I can see this next step as becoming more dependent upon someone who charges me more than $2.00 a minute for his time. And the last session was overwhelming and triggering and then it ended before I had a chance to gather myself together. Once again, I'm pulling myself together on my own and going through the July 4 holiday in good cheer, but only because of my own effort. I'm pretty self-reliant.

Ok so...would you stay? Would you go? How do you know when therapy is over? What if you've gotten enough? How do people pay good hard-earned money to become intentionally vulnerable to someone?

I'm very appreciative of any responses. Thank you so much. (I haven't figured out how to give 'thanks' or 'hugs' on my mobile browser, but I do appreciate the answers.)

I think it's something you have to decide for yourself. I don't know if I can really answer this cus I live in a country with universal healthcare and my T is covered. I never think about money when I think about my time there.

It took me 10 years to finally go to therapy and after about 8 sessions now I am seeing the value in it for real. She has shown me a few very very important things. We discussed what ending therapy now would mean (since I am offered a job abroad someplace that doesn't have therapy lol). We haven't done anything about my ptsd or alexithymia yet. I could live an okay life without fixing those things, and I can not work on it for a while. But I know for me to be able to get the most out of my life (work ambitions and loving relationships with people) I need to really deal with the hard stuff. I am still too much numb and stuff. If the job comes through I'll put T on hold, but I know I need to go back someday.

It's scary to delve into the deeper things and I fear that I will get worse before I get better once I start doing that. It feels very much out of control. And part of me wants to hold onto the numbness and the distance from it all. But I just know it's not in my best interest in the end. For the long term...

I think that's what you need to consider, if right now isn't the time for you because financially you feel too burdened. If right now isn't the time for you because you worry about how it will mess up the calm. You weigh those things and you weigh the end result you'd like.

Well, you could quit now. But you'd still have PTSD.

D'you think maybe you're trying to resist doing the really hard stuff? Because it sounds like you're getting close to the difficult things, and maybe wanting to run away.

Dealing with PTSD means things could get overwhelming and triggering. But better to do that in the therapy room than have it locked inside, damaging you.

I don't mean to do you down, as it were, but it sounds a bit like you're resisting or dissociating. You have PTSD. It's worth healing from that.

I think it is like your topic title; if you quit while you are ahead, you don't really know how the game would have come out, if you have what it takes to stay ahead? I play trivia on Tuesdays but have been sick the last couple bout a friend on my team plays as himself and called me from the bar after the first round and he'd won that round but wasn't in the running at the end

You don't get much for quitting; whether ahead or because you don't feel you can continue. The good stuff can't come in the middle of the story?

I know exactly how you're feeling, questioning whether it's worthwhile to continue when you are feeling good. I'm kind of at that point now. Over the past few months working with my T, I've gotten answers to why I am the way I am, and how my childhood and other things specifically shaped me into who I am today. As a result, I've been feeling pretty good, not top of the world happy, but content.

Many times recently I've been feeling like "okay, I know what happened, the cause of my problems, why bother going". But, as my T would say, this feeling is like a wave in the ocean. It will pass and another bigger, more destructive wave will come, and without having resolved my past issues, when that big wave comes, I'll be back where I was before I started therapy.

So I found that for me, now is the time to keep going more than ever, and use the good moods I have to work on the hard, ugly, difficult stuff. Better to deal with the hard stuff while I'm in a good mood than deal with the hard stuff when I'm in a crisis and have more trouble managing it.

This is a good topic to bring up to your T the next time you see them. Also, maybe you can try scaling back the frequency of your sessions, instead of multiple times a week, once a week, or twice a month kind of thing.

...or you could take a break and come back later if you want to.

I would suggest making sure you have the motivation and the financial ability to stick with therapy for as long as it takes if you plan to start digging deep into the past.

I'm of the mind that digging into the past isn't necessarily the answer to healing, I think it really depends on the person, the situation. I think there's a cultural tendency to assume without question that getting it all 'out there' (whether on TV or in therapy, or whatever) is what will make us all better. I lived in South America where the culture is very different. It's not that things are kept 'secret' either, but there's less of a rush to put it all out there. Does this mean South Americans are less mentally healthy than we are? I don't know for sure, but I doubt it. I don't think there's a dichotomy between secrets and sharing, between denial and/or dissociation and facing 'truths.' There's a lot in between, and everyone is so very different.

To the OP specifically, I don't know if you're referring to issues you are currently experiencing (self-harm, sui, anxiety) or if you're saying that you are feeling better now and no longer have these issues? If these issues are current and active, I would have to say it's probably a good idea to remain in therapy, however you decide to proceed in that therapy. If the self-harm and sui, etc. are no longer issues, then it's more of a toss up. I would try to look at things realistically -to what extent your symptoms/issues affect your functioning, your daily living, your ability to live life fully, how you would like to live your life and how you would like to feel, versus how you currently are.

It's a very personal decision. If you think maybe you're considering pulling out because you're afraid of what has been talked about lately, keep in mind that what goes on in therapy is entirely up to you. Whether and when you want to talk about things. I'm glad you're feeling better, though, that's what we all shoot for. I'd say just try and be honest with yourself about the reasons why you are considering stopping therapy.

Thank you so much for your responses!

I am resisting - hugely. That earlier crap is all so painful and I thought I'd buried it a long time ago. I'm so scared to revisit it and wondering if it is worth it. I wonder if I'm worth it and I suspect that I'm not but I know what T would say about that . . .

Part of me wants to quit and that part looks at the financial savings and says, "Well, I'll miss this T relationship and support, but I sure can put that money to good use." And part of me wants to never quit ever and I wonder if I should just quit now before I get even more attached to T than I already am.

I only stopped the sui thoughts and SI in May. So basically, I've been "healthy" for one month.

I will bring this up with the T, rather than just quitting outright. The recommended treatment is EMDR so I don't think it's a huge dive into the past. Just a series of little dives.

My T says he has had a lot of people come to him through the years who have presented with "symptoms" of abuse- they finally disclose, but then stop going. Sure, some people feel better after just telling somebody about it. However, if you are still dealing with things that affect your life now after this happened then.. Then, it might be good to bite the bullet and stay in for the long haul. T is hard work, but I am putting my hope in the fact that this should help me function in my daily life!

So it sounds like you haven't been stable for very long, and you recognize that you are resisting delving into this material. Sounds like you've answered your own question about continuing therapy.

Of course you're worth it! You're worth doing whatever you decide to do to feel better. Maybe it will reassure you, if you talk about talking about it in more depth with your therapist before you start down that road. No doubt you'll be reassured that you're in control of these sessions, and every effort will be made so that you don't get overwhelmed with the process, but instead, benefit from it. All the best!

I'm coming back to an old thread that I started. Thanks so much for the advice and guidance and wisdom, guys!

I did stick with it and am still in it, despite huge urges to quit. I've made more changes even since early July. Most of the changes are internal - I do feel calmer and like a better spouse and parent, thanks to therapy.

I cry more than ever, now, however. But maybe this is a good thing.

Gawd therapy is hard as hell.

"I wonder if I'm worth it and I suspect that I'm not"

Quit while you're ahead of what exactly?

It sounds like you have many miles to go PJ. I can't think of a much better reason for therapy than a deep-seated sense of unworthiness.

***sorry, I didn't realize it was an old thread! I didn't read till the end before giving my two cents! I'm happy for you.

I told T that I feel as if I don't really deserve to live on this planet and then I dismissed it with, "But I guess everyone feels that way, right?"

She said that many people do feel worthy. I don't even GET that. But then she said, "How would you feel if your daughter felt that way?"

I would hate it if my kids felt about themselves the way that I do!

Worthiness and self-esteem are two different things. I am confident in my abilities to provide for myself and my ability to be a good parent. But I just don't think my very existence is justified or worth very much.

And yeah a lot more has come up in therapy. Apparently it's not normal to punch oneself in the stomach and legs and declare horrible things about oneself?

Thanks again.

I think therapy is considered a success when we're alongside our issues. Being on top is a fantasy position.

As difficult as it is, I'm glad you're sticking with it.

I have C-PTSD, and I find that I am on again-off again with going to therapy because it's so dang overwhelming, triggering - and, yes, at times, even retraumatizing.

But, like one of the other posters stated ... We'll still have our issues to work on whether we're doing therapy or not.

At least this way we aren't having to face the beast alone!