changing who u are

Depends. If you want to change categorically, then you have self-esteem issues that need fixing. or you have experienced a great trauma and you think it's the only way to resolve it.

I used to think similar, but then at the time things were not going well for me and I thought that other people were not the issue, it was me. Since then, I've been committed to seeing how I contribute to situations, and not always blame others. Also, even if another situation is caused by another, how I respond/react to it or prevent it is my responsibility.

That said, if an aspect of yourself needs changing since you're unhappy with it or it is causing you issues, then go ahead and change it. Your psychotherapist should be more than willing to assist you in doing so.

i was thinking about my reply here it is.
i dunno anything about ur past/upbringing so i cant say for sure what can be applied to u. but this my example.. i grew up in a nuts house of yelling and whatnot.. that, in certain way, along with being bullied in school, made me expect the worst in people, the pessimism between other stuff (being rejected, so on) so my perception of the world and what hapens to me is quite black. in therapy ill have to transform my cognitive distortions to proper thoughts that actually correspond to reality.

what i mentioned with that sentence was about characteristics of my personality, like he sarcasm p.e., and this where my T says im thinking to radically caz im not changing WHO i am, im adjusting to situations and people that is appropriate to do so. and thats why for me is difficult the change caz i often think like u said.. the world is at fault not me...
hun all crap we have been through isnt fair but we need to make the most of it for our sake... thats why we resort to therapy. hope u keep on doing a good job

Therapy isn't about changing who you are really. It's about guiding you to a place YOU want to be. Therapy can't help you unless you let it (And you have a competent T). It's all about perspective. T's aren't the bad guys, they only want to help us reach OUR goals. So one of your goals isn't to change your personality, but surely there is something you'd like to change, a relationship with someone? Your career? etc. They can help you get there

oh i remembered the other issue... not care/worry so much about what other people think. this got me excited... we finally actually DOING something. just hope she doesnt leave it in middle as sometimes my ex-T would tell me to do homework and not even care about it (wondered why did she even asked)...

I used to be a straight A student because my family was so neglectful that school was the only place I got attention. Finally after going all the way and becoming a professor and all that jazz, I resigned, took some community college courses and asked them to flunk me because I wasn't interested in taking the exams for a grade. It was liberating to fail.

I look at therapy like I look at Zen. It is for liberation. And sometimes that does mean transformation. But that kind of thing doesn't happen very fast so it is really a life time project. And with limited time to sessions you can only expect so much.

going to therapy today was pure waste of time. we didnt work on the things we had talked last session. we talked about my *** father keeping pushing me to get a job and whatnot. she didnt say anything new. and clearly she decided to adopt this posture where she says stuff but makes clear she isnt saying i HAVE TO. shes being neutral caz she basically doesnt know how to deal with me. shes afraid i get pissed like i did in first sessions.
my ex.t gave her all to me and whenever i had opportunity of getting a job, she would insist with me to go and say that she would email me to ask if i went and whatnot... she made me go caz she cared and gave me encouragement to go. this one just couldnt give a s.hit. and with this posture i dunno how much shes gona help...

She's being neutral because that's in your best interests right now. My T also does not direct me, but she does support me in my own decisions. If she told me what to do, I would not learn about myself and learn how to do things because I want to.

Have you talked with her about the neutrality? I used to tell my T it drove me nuts, it felt so cold and disconnected. It took time to understand she isn't that way, but she does what I need to grow. I am there to grow as well as to have support. I think my T does a good job balancing the support so it doesn't become something else.

I'm sorry you are feeling discouraged . It is something important to talk about in therapy.

hi. is it? shes like oh im saying this bu dont want u to feel im saying u have to, ultimately is ur choice. i know is my choice but what i need is someone to push me, to encourage me. just think she keeps criticizing me and many times distort what i say and couldnt give a **** about me.