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  #26  
Old Jul 11, 2013, 02:57 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
It sounds like a good thing to be able to derive comfort from listening to it.
I think I'll try listening to it once every other day.

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  #27  
Old Jul 11, 2013, 03:41 PM
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I went through an ordeal many years ago that involved court documents, recordings, etc. It was painful for me - yet I read the court documents and listened to the recordings every single day - multiple times a day - thousands of times over the course of a few years. It finally dissipated when the situation no longer impacted my life.

I talked to my T about it, and he said it had something to do with trying to gain control over something that was out of my control.

That compulsion has been replaced with other similar compulsions, but they are more comforting than harmful.
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  #28  
Old Jul 11, 2013, 03:51 PM
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Maybe I should talk to my T about it. I should have brought it up today but was too depressed. Guess I'll try again next week.
  #29  
Old Jul 11, 2013, 04:44 PM
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Originally Posted by Asiablue View Post
i really feel like the recording is harming no one, the opposite in fact since you feel comforted, how is that bad? Don't take away your source of comfort. It's just a recording and one day you'll start needing it less and less, this transference is just a stage in you therapeutic journey and will pass eventually.
I used to record my sessions with my first T. I don't think they were particularly comforting but I still have them! I don't listen any more. I remember liking to hear my T's voice, and I was overly attached to her, but the recordings didn't make it worse.

I think it's a fine line between comfort and addiction, though. That's why I quoted Asia. You said "it's just a recording...transference is just a stage..."
I don't want to be negative but for me, anything I have about my T is more than "just" anything. I used to look at a photo of my former T too much; it hurt me more than helped. I looked at my current T's website often because it was comforting but it became addicting. I wrote her emails because I needed to but I feel like that's addictive too. Googling her because it's comforting to see her photo and whatever else I can find, is close to addiction too.

In my case the "transference" stage with at least 2 of my Ts lasted many years. So what starts out as comforting may turn into an addiction.

Overwhelmed, I'm NOT saying that's how it is with you. I'm just saying that it's hard to know when comfort turns into addiction, and it's hard to stop once it does.
  #30  
Old Jul 11, 2013, 04:51 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rainbow8 View Post
I used to record my sessions with my first T. I don't think they were particularly comforting but I still have them! I don't listen any more. I remember liking to hear my T's voice, and I was overly attached to her, but the recordings didn't make it worse.

I think it's a fine line between comfort and addiction, though. That's why I quoted Asia. You said "it's just a recording...transference is just a stage..."
I don't want to be negative but for me, anything I have about my T is more than "just" anything. I used to look at a photo of my former T too much; it hurt me more than helped. I looked at my current T's website often because it was comforting but it became addicting. I wrote her emails because I needed to but I feel like that's addictive too. Googling her because it's comforting to see her photo and whatever else I can find, is close to addiction too.

In my case the "transference" stage with at least 2 of my Ts lasted many years. So what starts out as comforting may turn into an addiction.

Overwhelmed, I'm NOT saying that's how it is with you. I'm just saying that it's hard to know when comfort turns into addiction, and it's hard to stop once it does.
I understand what you're saying. I just wish I knew if it was an addiction or not. The thought of not hearing it is upsetting at best.
Hugs from:
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  #31  
Old Jul 11, 2013, 05:10 PM
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for me recording sessions might be a useful way for me to reflect on what we've discussed and explore it further on my own... but in the romantic context i'm not too sure since i'm of the same gender with my T (and i like it that way >___<)
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  #32  
Old Jul 11, 2013, 08:33 PM
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I've done it. Sometimes things I didn't hear the first time are much clearer when I replay it. Sometimes I just hate the sound of my own voice.
  #33  
Old Jul 11, 2013, 09:14 PM
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Originally Posted by doyoutrustme View Post
I've done it. Sometimes things I didn't hear the first time are much clearer when I replay it. Sometimes I just hate the sound of my own voice.
Do you get used to hearing your own voice?
  #34  
Old Jul 11, 2013, 09:46 PM
Yobeth Yobeth is offline
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I once asked my T about recording our session. She said no. She told me to take notes instead so that's what I do. I have a terrible memory and can't always remember everything we discussed.
  #35  
Old Jul 12, 2013, 02:12 AM
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feralkittymom feralkittymom is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by overwhelmed1980 View Post
I understand what you're saying. I just wish I knew if it was an addiction or not. The thought of not hearing it is upsetting at best.
Talk to your T. It sounds a lot more like a transient comfort/attachment transference phase than an addiction to me. I really don't even like that use of the word. Perhaps compulsion is closer to that persistent urge. But compulsions are rarely satisfying; they are persistent and ritualistic, but don't result in feeling better--only distracted.

If listening to the tape leaves you feeling calm and comforted, then it really doesn't sound like a compulsion to me. I think what rainbow is talking about isn't a compulsion or addiction or simple transference, either, but a separate issue.
  #36  
Old Jul 12, 2013, 11:17 AM
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If you don't mind me asking, what is transient comfort/attachment transference? I've never heard of it but I will talk to my T about it. Listening to it is comforting though not for very long.
  #37  
Old Jul 12, 2013, 11:27 AM
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I considered recording sessions at one point. My T said I could if I wanted as it's my therapy and it's up to me, but I decided not to.
  #38  
Old Jul 12, 2013, 10:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by overwhelmed1980 View Post
If you don't mind me asking, what is transient comfort/attachment transference? I've never heard of it but I will talk to my T about it. Listening to it is comforting though not for very long.
Sorry--it's not a technical term, just my description of possibilities. I can't know which need is most prominent for you. Transient as in temporary, comfort or attachment as issues, transference as, well, transference.
Thanks for this!
overwhelmed1980
  #39  
Old Jul 12, 2013, 10:19 PM
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overwhelmed1980 overwhelmed1980 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by feralkittymom View Post
Sorry--it's not a technical term, just my description of possibilities. I can't know which need is most prominent for you. Transient as in temporary, comfort or attachment as issues, transference as, well, transference.
I understand what you're saying now. Thanks.
  #40  
Old Jul 13, 2013, 07:04 AM
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Originally Posted by overwhelmed1980 View Post
Do you get used to hearing your own voice?
I believe that most people do get used to it, yes. I know I did, when I went to a speech therapist a few years ago (I had some problems with my vocal cords, and often lost my voice when I had been teaching). I had to record my own voice in a couple of different languages, and it was excruciating at first but after I had been doing it regularly for a few weeks it wasn't too embarrassing at all. My speech therapist said that in her (long) experience, almost everybody does get used to hearing their own voice in recordings.
  #41  
Old Jul 13, 2013, 08:36 AM
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I have chat records of my sessions. They're helpful and comforting. Sometimes I do feel anxious about wanting to see my therapist more, chat with her more. I accept that. Attachment is a healing part of the therapeutic relationship. Feeling I need her and that she's comforting to me, I don't define that as unhealthy, it's just uncomfortable!

I wonder three things:

1. Does listening to the recording hurt anyone?

2. Does listening to the recording, or recording sessions prevent you from functioning in other ways- is it negatively impacting your life, i.e. are you isolating more from others, are you not getting your to-do list done, are you missing work, etc. etc.

3. Are you going to be able to mention it to your therapist?

If you can answer no, no, yes to those, personally, I wouldn't worry at all.

I think we should be careful about using a word with such negative connotation as addiction.... drug abuse, alcohol abuse, excessive gambling, etc. etc. those are addictions. Is using something comforting over and over an addiction... I would hesitate to jump to that conclusion.
  #42  
Old Jul 13, 2013, 12:25 PM
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Personally, I decided not to record my sessions because I feared I would obsess over the entire content instead of moving forward. Instead, I'm in the habit of writing down odd things my T says - anything particularly helpful or comforting - which helps a lot.
  #43  
Old Jul 13, 2013, 02:13 PM
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I think I'm going to record my sessions because my short term memory is awful and it seems like it would be useful.
  #44  
Old Jul 13, 2013, 07:37 PM
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I think it is good to try. If it is not useful, you can always stop.
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Thanks for this!
overwhelmed1980
  #45  
Old Jul 15, 2013, 07:34 PM
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overwhelmed1980 overwhelmed1980 is offline
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Well, I spoke to my T today and he said I should delete the recording so I didn't ask about recording the sessions. I'm having a hard time getting the courage to delete the recording. Any support is appreciated because I have gotten really addicted to listening to the recording.
  #46  
Old Jul 18, 2013, 09:13 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by overwhelmed1980 View Post
Do you get used to hearing your own voice?
depends what I'm talking about. I have some moments of ohgodohgoddidisaythat.
Thanks for this!
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