I hate crying infront of anyone it is mortifying and on the few occasions I have done it with T I have had felt compelled to punish myself afterwards. Can I ask my T to leave the room while I cry, maybe get him to make me a cup of tea or something. This is just so incredible i can't believe I am asking on here about it.

[Victoria'smom]

If that will help I'd ask. worse he can do is say he can't.

[elaygee]

Guess would depend how long you would want T out for. My T would encourage me to sit with the intense feeling and ride the wave of it with her. Ptherwise by her leaving it kinda says yeah crying is so "bad" my T left the room...?

[Raging Quiet]

I've left the therapy room as I've been overwhelmed, or excused myself to the bathroom.

Does your T know that you

have felt compelled to punish myself afterwards.

when you cry?

Take good care x

Originally Posted by Rect0pathic

I've left the therapy room as I've been overwhelmed, or excused myself to the bathroom.

Does your T know that you when you cry?

Take good care x

no, he doesn't know i punish myself. I feel bad enough that I do it. Is that classified as self-harm?

[~EnlightenMe~]

I deserve this. Okay.

[Raging Quiet]

Originally Posted by Bipolarartist

no, he doesn't know i punish myself. I feel bad enough that I do it. Is that classified as self-harm?

I would strongly advise you to speak about this with your T. He may not realise that he could be hurting you if he's trying to bring up painful things. I definitely think its a whole avenue to explore.

Take good care.

What do you deserve. Antimatter?

[~EnlightenMe~]

Contact has been terminated on my computer. I want to take my ****ing computer out and slam it on the pavement and throw it piece by piece in the po**** yo_uj+uuuuuuol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Raging Quiet]

Originally Posted by Antimatter

Contact has been terminated on my computer. I want to take my ****ing computer out and slam it on the pavement and throw it piece by piece in the po**** yo_uj+uuuuuuol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Are you okay? What's happened?

Antimatter? Is everything alright?

[Perna]

So sorry, Antimatter; I threw my $350 Dyson vacuum across the room the other day for about the same reason and it came apart about that way.

BPArtist, what does your ideal situation look like; you can't "not cry"/be upset, we all get upset and it's good you get upset but I think asking your T to leave would not help you either get more comfortable over time with how you feel or stop the punishment, as it would just come out somewhere else for some other reason. I think getting comfortable with how you feel and how you express how you feel when you feel that way is the only way to make punishing one's self unnecessary.

[stopdog]

i would leave the room instead of asking the therapist to do so.

[lemon80s]

I got upset/frustrated yesterday in therapy too and I just took a badroom break. Hadn't done that in session yet but I just needed a bit of space. I guess if your T has a practice in which you cant go somewhere for some space then you could ask T to leave. But I don't know if they would comply. It feels like my T really 'owns' her space. By being there before me and stuff. And it makes me comfortable that she does.

[Perna]

Originally Posted by lemon80s

I got upset/frustrated yesterday in therapy too and I just took a badroom break.

Does feel that way sometimes, don't it?

[Bill3]

I would be surprised if a T were to allow a client to be alone in her/his office.

[lemon80s]

Originally Posted by Perna

Does feel that way sometimes, don't it?

Oh, badroombreak. HAHA. I'm sorry. Not native English and getting tired. Haha.

[tinyrabbit]

Originally Posted by Bill3

I would be surprised if a T were to allow a client to be alone in her/his office.

I've been alone in my T's room - a couple of times he's nipped to the toilet before a session and told me to go ahead and go in if I want.

I think the problem for your T in this situation is that it could be a test. What's the right thing to do? Do you really want to be left alone? Some clients might say that and not mean it.

I have a tendency to hide behind my hands when I cry. I've talked some with my T about what helps me, what I need from him, in those moments. I hope you can do the same.

[tinyrabbit]

Also, Antimatter I hope you're ok x

[Bill3]

a couple of times he's nipped to the toilet before a session and told me to go ahead and go in if I want.

That situation strikes me as different in that awkwardness is unlikely when T comes back.

If a T has left the office so allow a client privacy to regain composure, it is not immediately clear when T will be "allowed" to come back. Of course T can legally come in to the space, but if the client is not yet ready when T wants to return, the situation can become awkward. There are better ways to allow a client to regain composure, such as you suggested.

ETA: I would be uncomfortable if I knew that my T were allowing other clients to be alone in her office. After all, my records are in there; they could even be on her desktop, or otherwise easily accessible, if I had an appointment on that day.

[unaluna]

Yeah. I mean you go there to be with him. If I did this, he would know I was just getting rid of him for a minute so I could take my clothes off. Altho he has gone to the bathroom or answered the door and ive behaved myself - sometimes its good im so lazy.

[Solepa]

I would just leave for a bit. My T has bathroom right next to her office and I already left to go there once to get some air. She would much rather I stay but would not hopefuly stop me. I would not feel ok to ask her to leave as I consider the office her space and I have no right to it.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by Bipolarartist

I hate crying infront of anyone it is mortifying and on the few occasions I have done it with T I have had felt compelled to punish myself afterwards. Can I ask my T to leave the room while I cry, maybe get him to make me a cup of tea or something. This is just so incredible i can't believe I am asking on here about it.

A brilliant idea!

[feralkittymom]

ETA: I would be uncomfortable if I knew that my T were allowing other clients to be alone in her office. After all, my records are in there; they could even be on her desktop, or otherwise easily accessible, if I had an appointment on that day.

Absolutely. My T kept records in a separate room, so I often went in early or stayed after a session to compose myself.

But a group T I saw, when I was in the process of changing living arrangements, insisted I take a key to her office because "everybody needs a safe space." I was horrified for the exact reason you've stated. Should have paid more attention to that giant red flag!