[Freewilled]

I have been seeing my T weekly for about 5 months now....I wonder if anyone else has been in this place in T and gotten through to the other side...if so, I'd really like to know what the other side looks like cause I cannot, for the life of me, imagine it /:

I had a session with my T yesterday and I just could not talk to him about anything much. I struggle to come up with what to talk about - I just draw a blank. I might think of something, but it feels so inauthentic. I talk about how I feel this way, but it doesn't make it leave. I just feel more stupid and like I'm intrinsically broken. I told my T yesterday that I don't think I will ever get past this anxiety about going to T

I feel badly about it too because I know it probably doesn't feel good for T to see me not really moving forward. He always asks me if its something he's doing or not doing, but I really think its just ME

All the things I'd like to tell my T are too much - too scary. I can't even get them in my mind when I'm in there sometimes and when I'm driving home or later that night - that is when they all come back full force and I beat myself up for not remembering them in the therapy room.

Has anyone been here and if so, how did you move past it? How long does this all take?? I feel like a horrible client

[tinyrabbit]

Reading your post, I think your T is saying something in one way and you're experiencing it in another. I think he's checking in with you about how he's doing because he's concerned and wants to make sure he's getting it right. That's good. But the way it's coming across to you is that he's annoyed, or frustrated, or impatient.

He's probably seeing things in quite a factual way (Freewilled is experiencing XYZ, I'll check whether I need to do something differently) but, the way it arrives with you, it seems like there's a whole load of subtext there.

I think it's important to realise that your T isn't judging you. He's noticing what's going on with you, rather than secretly criticising you for it. As to the particular issues you're having, have you tried writing things down? Could you write things down when they come up, give it to your T and ask him to ask you questions about those things?

[pbutton]

I have been in this place lately. T and I spent most of my session this week talking about it. He's going to try to come up with a structure for our sessions. I am going to try to talk about stuff even though I feel like I am wasting everyone's time.

I also type things up when I am not there & hand them to him.

[Perna]

I'd write stuff down when it happens outside of T and discuss that, "When I was driving home from here last week. . .". I started remembering my dreams,writing them down, and discussing them with T and anything else that disturbed me during the week away. Start to keep a little journal or at least a list or something?

[Onyx999]

I was just about to suggest the therapy journal thing that Perna suggested. It's the only way I can keep my thoughts straight. I'd forget things if I didn't keep a tiny notebook in my purse with me. I just jot the thoughts down as they come to me. It's been very effective for me so far. Try it. And let us know how it goes.

[Freewilled]

Thanks everyone - I do keep a journal but I don't bring it to sessions. I suppose I should, but I'm really really nervous about doing so. I'm so anxious during therapy that I lose track of myself so ill have to do something to stay grounded. I'll see if I can make myself do it...

[content30]

Like Perna says, I write stuff down. At first, in therapy, stuff came pouring out. Then, after a while, I realized I wasn't talking about thinks I wanted to cover and would forget to discuss important things. So, I started keeping notes in my phone. I actually just typed something into my notes before reading this post. I just saw my T today after 5 weeks off, and the list in my phone was super helpful to have!