Therapist let me down big time; I quit

Sometimes. And sometimes they should be held accountable for their mistakes.
And ALWAYS the T should listen to the client's hurt, and the client should at least have empathy (which is not the same thing as always blaming the T and never holding cl's responsible) and sometimes corrective efforts to fix the mistake.

Clients should not receive blame for being hurt (which doens't mean the T is always responsible or incompetent)

I think, that it sounds like you are extremely depressed and vulnerable. I think that you may come to regret stopping so abruptly. I think you owe yourself a face to face session in which you decide before hand could make it or break it. Consider how clouded your judgement must be in such a bad depression. It sounds like she IS watching out for you, but screwed up on the details (which indeed count!). But I think ***** happens, and therapists are human an make mistakes. As much as we hate to think about it, we are not the only people who they are looking out for with our lives at stake.

That's why you are as responsible for the treatment as she is, and you caught her in error.

No, of course not. I didn't mean to say that anything is excused. I was just offering a broader perspective.

Hurt and disappointment feel awful. And it's never wrong to feel anything. But we are all human and we fail. It would be unfair if we left everyone who fails us just once. Or if others left us because we failed once.

Thanks for clarifying I agree.

I wonder what are you hearing. or what I am missing.

I remember I stayed with my T for months after things were bad and mistakes happened. I hear that from people who feel betrayed by their T, and rarely hear of people leaving quickly and easily. We have too much invested and it would be a big loss - it IS a big loss for us.

It would be unfair to real people. I don't think it is unfair to therapists or other professionals.

I agree with you that both the client and T are responsible to the therapy. I think they are responsible for different things. Cl is responsible to do the work. And Ts are responsible for making it a safe place, and for the focus to be on the client's issues.

Sometimes Ts slips. Sometimes they are little slips. Sometimes big slips that need to be rectified. Sometimes unethical slips.

Ts can't make clients "do the work" and client's can't make the T open, accepting, non-judgmental, reliable, trustworthy, and most important ethical, much less make them wise or good at what they do.

They MAY be equally responsible, but they aren't equally responsible for all facets of the therapy hour.