[Freewilled]

I have a lot of questions I'd ask my T if I could be more assertive. For some reason I can't seem to spit them out...here's my list:

1) How do you normally terminate people? What's the process like?
2) What's my prognosis? What do you think my problem is?
3) Will you keep seeing me once my insurance runs out? (But would you really even want to?) How much?
4) Are you sick of me yet? What do I do that bothers you the most and what do you want to see me change the most?
5) How much longer do you think I need to be in therapy? Do I even need to come and see you anymore?
6) What's your favorite song? Why?
7) Do you like me at all? Is there anything about me that is even slightly redeeming?
8) Am I your most hated client? Do you sigh when I leave and dread my appointment?
9) Do you think of me at all during the week?
10) Do you have *any* hope for me?

Anyone else have unanswered questions for your T? What are they? Just wondering cause I never ask my T stuff and trying to see if I'm the only one /:

[unaluna]

Those are very good questions! I've asked my t a few and he has been appropriately noncommittal!

[Leah123]

I would ask all of those, just print this out.

[PorcupineTree]

I have plenty, I've just made a list of them today actually, what a coincidence .

I don't think a T can honestly answer all these questions...that is probably what kept me from asking mine I suppose. How could a T answer honestly your question 4,7,8...it's impossible !
I'm sure you would feel it if your T was sick of you...or if he hated you. He probably don't, or he is a REALLY good comedian....! I like this quote : "It is harder to conceal the feelings that we have than to pretend those that we do not have.''

Here are some of my questions:

1. Could you be 100% honest with me ? if I say that this is what I want, no matter how hard it is to hear? If yes, then can you tell me during our session when you are tired, bored, disgusted, hopeless about me, or anything else ?1. 2.Are you different with everyone, depending on what we need? Are you only playing what I need you to be? Or is it the real and only you?
3. Do all of your patients are as attached to you as I am? How do you feel about that?
4. What would you say if I said I quit?
5. Why did you choose to do only brief therapy? What don't you like about seeing someone for a longer period?
6. I want to hate you, now that I have to stop seeing you, so can you help me with that please?

These are great questions freewilled, what stops you from asking them? Ts are supposed to be open to questions relating to our therapy and our progress so your t should welcome any questions. This is a great way of being assertive with t and finding your voice
I want to ask my t if she is ok bec ause she looks really sick lately and I worry about her, I know she will lie and say she is ok but I know she isn't.

[wotchermuggle]

Originally Posted by Freewilled

I have a lot of questions I'd ask my T if I could be more assertive. For some reason I can't seem to spit them out...here's my list:

1) How do you normally terminate people? What's the process like?
2) What's my prognosis? What do you think my problem is?
3) Will you keep seeing me once my insurance runs out? (But would you really even want to?) How much?
4) Are you sick of me yet? What do I do that bothers you the most and what do you want to see me change the most?
5) How much longer do you think I need to be in therapy? Do I even need to come and see you anymore?
6) What's your favorite song? Why?
7) Do you like me at all? Is there anything about me that is even slightly redeeming?
8) Am I your most hated client? Do you sigh when I leave and dread my appointment?
9) Do you think of me at all during the week?
10) Do you have *any* hope for me?

Anyone else have unanswered questions for your T? What are they? Just wondering cause I never ask my T stuff and trying to see if I'm the only one /:

I can't stand the "not knowing" part of things so I usually bring these things up on my own. One that I haven't is about the thinking about clients during the week. T brought up by saying "You must think that I forget about you".

Being able to ask these questions......man, so important to the process!

[sweepy62]

Those questions have been on my mind but cannot voice them maybe I'm afraid of the answers

I have actually asked a bunch of those questions. [1, 2, 4, 5, 7, 10.] He volunteered the answer to 9 several times. The answers were very helpful and healing for me. I would love to know his favorite song and why it's his favorite, but that one seemed too private and like none of my business.

[Freewilled]

I think there are a mixture of reasons why I struggle to ask T questions...I think I AM afraid of the answers. I think that I worry about making him uncomfortable or putting him on the spot. I think he probably couldn't answer many of them honestly anyways and would squirm around it and ask me why I want to know

My kids are cool - yeah the song question is definitely too private but I would like to know for some reason /: I think maybe because music is really important to me. I would never ask him it though.

[FeelTheBurn]

I'm tempted to ask all those questions, just to see what kind of pretzel she twists herself into to turn the questions back onto me!

Originally Posted by Freewilled

I have a lot of questions I'd ask my T if I could be more assertive. For some reason I can't seem to spit them out...here's my list:

1) How do you normally terminate people? What's the process like?
2) What's my prognosis? What do you think my problem is?
3) Will you keep seeing me once my insurance runs out? (But would you really even want to?) How much?
4) Are you sick of me yet? What do I do that bothers you the most and what do you want to see me change the most?
5) How much longer do you think I need to be in therapy? Do I even need to come and see you anymore?
6) What's your favorite song? Why?
7) Do you like me at all? Is there anything about me that is even slightly redeeming?
8) Am I your most hated client? Do you sigh when I leave and dread my appointment?
9) Do you think of me at all during the week?
10) Do you have *any* hope for me?

Anyone else have unanswered questions for your T? What are they? Just wondering cause I never ask my T stuff and trying to see if I'm the only one /:

These are good questions. I have asked 1, in a roundabout way, and the local equivalent of 3, and the second part of 5, and got answers to those. I would like to ask whether he likes me and whether he ever thinks about me between sessions, but I don't know whether he would answer at all, and am afraid of what the answers might be if he did. I am pretty sure he would not answer 8, though I would like to know. He usually buzzes me in a couple of minutes late which I interpret as him not really wanting to see me.

I sometimes do say "I have no idea what you are thinking" and usually get some variety of "It does not matter what I think", though once or twice he has told me.

[CantExplain]

Originally Posted by Freewilled

2) What's my prognosis? What do you think my problem is?

I've never met a T yet that would give a straight answer on that.
You might get something like this:
1. Every patient is different.
2. Labels are limiting.
3. You get out what you put in.

[SkinnySoul]

Nice topic. I've got quite a few.

1. You think I'm never gonna be alright, don't you?

2. Why don't you terminate me? YOU have said our relationship is complicated. So why don't you put an and to this? You know I can't. Is it for the f*cking money?

3. I sense you really feel superior to me because of my childish stupid crush on you, is that right? You get off on having so much power over me, right? You f*cking a$$hole!

4. What's your story...? I know you have issues, some of them are pretty obvious. Some are hidden well, but you know you can't hide enough from me. So...what's your story?

5. I've read somewhere a joke about therapists being "friendship-prostitutes". Do you feel like it?

[JayneJohnson49]

Freewilled, really great questions! Perhaps you could pick one question a session to ask T? Have you thought about the underlying emotion/feelings behind the questions? Do you want your T to provide a specific response or are you okay with any response?

I've asked 1,2,5,10. T was thoughtful with her responses and at times wanted to know why I asked which created a great dialogue. I'm an information seeking person so these specific questions allowed me to work through my own issues related to being in therapy which is the basis of all of them. I found T to be very welcoming in discussing them too, she didn't shy away at all and seemed to perk up that I had questions!

3 isn't relevenant in my state, I have to do private pay.

4,7,8,9 I wasn't concerned with after the first few months and I figured how therapy works! My stance was a bit different in that I didn't need or want T to like me, I wanted her to be kind, compassionate and honest in our sessions. That was enough for me. I'm a professional in a different career but still one where clients pay me directly to provide a personal service. From that experience I know I do care and think about them outside of their specific service time.