[Irrelevant221]

Earlier this week, my T informed me that she was going to be moving away in a couple of months from now because her husband's work is transferring him to a different location. I've basically been a wreck these past few days, as I've been with my current T for a couple of years now, and I've always felt very comfortable and connected with her. I've never been this attached to any of my therapists before, so the fact that I'm so heartbroken by this is a new feeling for me. She's easily the best T that I've had over the years, and not only am I going to miss the work that we've been doing together, but I'm also going to miss having her in my life in general.

I've spent practically the entire week crying (I feel like I should have run out of tears by now!). I've been journalling about my emotions and calling helplines and practicing self-care, but nothing seems to make this hurt any less. I'm assuming this is one of those things that will just get better with time, but if you guys have any suggestions about anything that will make this easier, I would be grateful.

[CantExplain]

((Irrelevant))

This is a serious abandonment trigger and I'm not surprised you're upset. I cried for a week over Madame T, and I was leaving her.

I know it's no consolation, but moving is not something a T does lightly. It takes years to build up a practice.

[FeelTheBurn]

I'm sorry to hear you're losing your T. If you're attached, it's agonizing, there are no two ways about it.

The only advice I can give is to not hold back. Grieve. Tell your T how much it hurts. if you feel safe being angry, be angry. Grieve some more. Know that she will be grieving with you: never doubt that leaving people she has come to know and care about and feel a responsibility toward is painful for her, too. That you are special to her, as well. (Also be prepared that, no matter what I just wrote, you will occasionally doubt that!)

Be very gentle with yourself over the next few months, because this is a genuine loss. Try not to judge yourself or minimize your pain. Feel it, express it, share it.

But it does get better. The hurt lasts a good while, but just like all grief, is dulled with time. You will make it through, as long as you let yourself make it. There will be a crossroads where you will start to feel the pain subside, and that might cause you to be afraid that you are forgetting her. You're not. The connection and the healing you shared with her will always be with you; the good news is, you're not required to carry the pain forever, too.

[Irrelevant221]

I thought I'd replied to your responses, but I must not have hit the submit button. Whoops! Sorry.

Anyway, thank you both for commenting. Trust me, I'm definitely upset about it. I've been doing a lot of crying, but I think that allowing myself to grieve is helping me come to terms with it. And I've talked with her in session about how much it hurts that she's leaving and how painful it is to even think about it. I did feel comfortable enough to express my sadness and anger during one of our recent sessions, and I'm glad that I was able to do so.

I've been trying to be positive and view this as an opportunity for growth and change, but emotionally, I know that it'll be a while before I truly see it that way. But in the meantime, I think I'm going to allow myself to continue grieving and to really feel and sit in my emotions.

[pbutton]

I am so sorry. How painful. It does sound like you're doing all of the right things.

[tinyrabbit]

I'm so, so sorry you're going through this

[Irrelevant221]

Thank you, everyone. I appreciate your support.

[sweepy62]

I'm still grieving my old t and it's been a year so I know how you feel but it gets better to where it's manageable

[wotchermuggle]

Ugh, how I feel for you. I know what it feels like and it is more than heart wrenching. If I could give you any advice at all, is to tell her everything and don't leave anything unsaid before your therapy ends. Take your hurt and despair into the session and work through it with her while you can. It makes the transition to either another T, or simply forward on your own, easier after she leaves.

That crying-every-day symptom will last for awhile. Eventually it will begin to fade, but don't be too hard on yourself about it.

If your T has any therapist recommendations, look them up and meet them before she leaves so you aren't left on your own after she leaves. Set up some type of support system because it will still be painful after she leaves - no matter how much processing you do beforehand.