[jdw275]

I have really bad social anxiety but whenever I find a method that works, I become really outgoing and can talk to anyone. These methods I find online, books, myself. They all seem to last 1-3 days, it will usually be a great couple of days depending on method.
e.g: being present, visualization, positive self talk, act as if, giving up need for positive and negative approval etc.

How come all these methods over the past 3 months have made me think "this is it, the answer to overcoming my phobia", made me feel normal, confident and feel fantastic all lasted just 1-3 days, always the same. I always end up over thinking and self talk jumps in just when I feel great then my old thoughts, behaviours start coming again, I then lose faith in the method and enthusiasm because I just can't believe in it like I did, self talk jumps straight in when I try.

How should I look at this? Should I choose the best one I had and be persistent and not give up on it, even when it fails at first?
At the moment, I'm struggling at work to relax and communicate without extreme fear of rejection and bad evaluation again. Its causing a constant strain on my mind and my ability and relationships. The type of work I do means I'm away for months and month before I get to go home, which is why therapy is not really an option and medication impossible.

Most recently the last method begun becoming automatic for me and I didn't need to keep reminding myself of it, that was the second day but when I woke up, I found it really hard to continue it as I was very self conscious especially when I wake up. Is this not evidence that it is powerful and can work long term? I mean changing beliefs, behaviours with yourself must take ages and have patience. Should a continuo effort on the choose method be put in place no matter how long or what challenges, setbacks I face or disbeliefs my automatic negative thoughts try and tell me on the method?

Thank you.

Sorry things r do hard right now. Maybe others here on PC will have some suggestions or what has worked for them. My only thought is sometimes it helps to talk to a t about your fears.

[WikidPissah]

I have battled social anxiety my whole life, and while I haven't conquered it yet, I have made some progress. I have a stutter, so it's mandatory I learn to be calm. It really helps me to think "what's the worst thing that can happen?" and then when I answer that I ask myself "can I deal with that?" Usually it's "yea, I can". It may hurt, it may suck, I may need to rearrange my life, but I can deal with it. I've been thru way worse and lived to tell. lol.

Another thing that is really helpful is Yoga and Progressive Muscle Relaxation. I always do PMR before I have a board meeting. Being in tune to your body and reading your first signs of anxiety is really important.

You're right though...it all comes down to practice...unfortunately there is no quick cure. Everyone is different, so if you find something you can use, you have to make it second nature, like flipping a light switch when you enter a room - muscle memory.

[with or without you]

I have it too. I've attempted to fix it many times. I'm sorry for not having any advice, other than I hear you and understand your pain.

[growlycat]

Are you working with a therapist on this? Just curious if you are trying to do it alone.

My T is trying to slowly expose me to exercises that stretch my comfort zone. I was liking the homework until recently--a bit overwhelming if not taken in small steps.