I have been seeing my therapist for many years. Last week she told me she is changing rooms (not to a new building, just down the corridor). This is causing me a lot of anxiety. How can one be so attached to a room. Its strange,but I feel as though all the secrets are tied up in that room. How can I get over this. I feel like I cant go back..

Originally Posted by kindergirl

I have been seeing my therapist for many years. Last week she told me she is changing rooms (not to a new building, just down the corridor). This is causing me a lot of anxiety. How can one be so attached to a room. Its strange,but I feel as though all the secrets are tied up in that room. How can I get over this. I feel like I cant go back..

I can relate so much to what you are saying...although I don't know if I can answer you exactly with any great insight. When my now ex-T terminated with me, I missed his room as much as him, especially the wonderful oversized chair I always sat in. I always wanted to ask him where he got it because I wanted one JUST LIKE IT at home so I could sit and write in it. Anyway, in my case, I deeply felt the loss of T but also the loss of the space...kind of like losing a home, a place you knew it was safe to go.

I think it would be weird to have the same T but to start in a new room, perhaps facing a different direction and all of T's stuff being in different places. I am so sorry this is happening...be sure to talk to your T about this before the change if you have not already. Perhaps she can show you the space and tell you where things are going to be before you arrive before your first appt. there to help prepare you.

Hugs to you.

[feralkittymom]

It's very understandable to me, as I respond strongly to spaces. I think it's a really good idea to have her walk you through the new space if possible. And certainly to talk about how you're feeling with this before and after moving. There's a lot of attachment feelings of safety and security connected to the space, and it's natural to feel a concern about losing that; it awakens other losses.

My T moved offices 4 times during the years I saw him and it was always a struggle for me, even though he kept the same furniture, etc, and replicated the arrangements as closely as possible. I usually responded by being pretty hyper-vigilant for awhile. But working through it also led to some really good progress, too.

[~EnlightenMe~]

My xT did change his office, and it ended up being fine, just a minor adjustment after awhile. My T (if he hasn't quit yet) 's office is across town in an old historic area, and I love that, too, if I still get to go there.

My T switched to a completely new building in a different town at one point. It was actually not to terrible to switch. I realized it was my T, not the room, that made me feel safe.

[Perna]

I had that happen to me, know just how you feel! I hated the new room but fortunately we had moved there because we were moving buildings later and that ended up well, the final room I ended up in was better than all the others I'd been in combined.

I guess "perspective" and physical surroundings can be important to some people?

[tinyrabbit]

I think it makes perfect sense. That room is your safe space. But can you see it as moving into the next room along, like a step onward in your therapy journey? And can you talk to your T about what's in it and how different it is?

[purplejell]

I can relate to this too... I think sometimes for me the room feels like a "container" that holds my feelings, and memories. When I leave her messages, I imagine that they are in that room and it's comforting. It is good to talk to your therapist about how you feel, and even to have a chance to say good-bye to the room before you leave it. And also to know that you and your therapist carry everything that happened, and can bring it with you. It won't all get lost when you move somewhere new. I think familiar things in the new office are comforting too, like if she brings her furniture, or blankets, etc.

[struggling2]

this hit home with me. my t recently changed rooms and i didnt think it was a big deal but i think it is more than i thought it would be. her office used to be way in the back down the hall away from the waiting room. she'd come to get me and we'd walk down the hall and then at the end she would hug me before we walked out her office and she'd walk me back down the hall where'd id turn and say bye. it was like a gradual process to leave. it was really big office with a huge cozy couch and it was bright and had all her pictures in there. it was HER office. now things have changed and she shares a small office with another therapist on the day he is not there. its right next to the waiting room so i can hear her in with her other patient if she laughs or something. theres no walk down the hall with small talk on the way or a gradual goodbye. its out the door in the waiting room and adios. everything about it is different. she even seems different since shes been in there. her other office was where our relationship was built. its where my walls came down and i for the first time in my life opened up to someone and felt close to someone. it was warm and cozy. it was my emotional home. i felt safe and trusted her. ever since she's moved offices ive felt a disconnect. something has been off. i walk out of all appts feeling kinda down. how can the connection be different just because of a room? so strange but makes total sense.

[ECHOES]

kindergirl, is she moving her room stuff too? maybe it will look and feel the same or nearly the same.

My T moved down the hall in the suite of offices, and she moved all the furniture except her desk, which she replaced. I loved it right away. It felt familiar and cozier too.

[Fuzzybear]

[wotchermuggle]

Where I go, each week you could have your session in a variety of rooms depending on who else is having a session at the same time. There are some rooms I will not go in because it puts me and my T too close to each other.

If you can pinpoint what it is exactly that is bothersome to you, maybe your T can help you work through it.

[BonnieJean]

Maybe you can take a picture of the old office before she moves to have as a memory of those years and all that happened in it. Maybe that preservation will help with the feelings of loss.

thank you all for your replies. She will be taking all of her own furniture etc, but im not sure if that is of any help. I have thought about it and I think there a couple of things bothering me. a) The new room is way bigger, seems like I will be lost in it. b) I will have moved from the furtherest away room to the room closest to the entrance door, strangely, it feels as if I don't have time to think before going in. And also it feels like it is now only one step away from her booting me out. It's all so complex isn't it, to be so agitated by simply moving to another room!!

[feralkittymom]

These are really good insights! Share them with her. There's nothing simple about anything T-related!

[ECHOES]

kindergirl, it will be different, but if you can allow yourself to just 'let it happen' and 'see how it goes', it might feel better. Be curious about how it will be, and remind yourself that only the room is changing. Your therapy is not in jeopardy