Couch 58 A place to sit and......

This has been my struggle for a long time. We kept prolonging it because I had too many other stressors in life. But then T started to think that maybe the trauma stuff was contributing to my decline in life....so tackling it was the plan, in spite of the current stress....He's reconsidering that now, because he feels it's just too risky and scary to add that to my plate.

Holy crap! I was just given dibs on an assignment tomorrow from 6 AM to midnight....getting to choose the length of time that I wanted. That hasn't happened before. I told them I could do 6 AM to 4 PM....or 6 PM....or if they couldn't get anyone else, I could do the entire shift as a last resort. Is that totally crazy? 18 hours in one day? These opportunities don't come by often, nor am I usually in a position where I could take it on - but since my daughter is not here, I want to take full advantage.

ETA: Does anyone know if pneumonia is contagious? The patient is in isolation, so I would have to use a gown, mask, gloves when going in her room. I'm assuming that's for her benefit, but...?

Depends on what kind of pneumonia, but yes, if it is bacterial or viral, it can be very contagious.

Ugh. Well, I will be mindful to take extra precautions. Thanks!

Yes, take care, mu_e! I think if you wear a mask that should probably be really good protection, though.

I'm going out for beer with the people at my former workplace (a different university department from where I work now; I was shifted downstairs a year ago but all my academic and personal ties are with my previous department) tomorrow. I just checked the menu at the place we're going, and they have no interesting beer at all. Two kinds that are probably drinkable, but nothing I like that much, and the rest is stuff I really dislike. But drinkable works; after all, it's the company that's important, and I'm really happy that these people want me along. They are my friends. It's a little annoying that I won't be able to tell H where we're going (he knows I'm going out with the department people, of course) because he would lecture me at length on how he would never go to that place to drink beer, and so he would remove quite a lot of my enjoyment of the evening, without meaning to.
At least I recognise this today. A year ago I would have not gone because I ought not to enjoy myself in a place where H wouldn't enjoy himself. (I talk like a drunkard which I'm not, but I don't like going to a pub and not drinking anything at all. I don't get drunk.)

That's great, Mast! I hope you have lots of fun!!!

Well, it's confirmed....I'm doing 11.5 hours tomorrow. They got someone to cover me from 5:30 PM onwards. I better make sure I get to sleep at a decent hour tonight cuz I gotta be up by around 4 AM. And I need to bring plenty of things to read while I sit out the hall at the hospital pretty much all...freakin...day. Wish I could have my computer with me. *sigh*

I'm happy to be getting the assignment though!

So, this depressed lady is going to a amusement park/waterpark tomorrow with my h and my kids. I really, really, really want to want to have fun with my family, but I really, really, really want to indulge in my I hate life, woe is me lifestyle and stay home. I am going.. maybe it will be good. The last two days have been a bit better, going into school and associating with other human beings has been good.

I hope you enjoy yourself Healed!

The question we must all ask ourselves is, "Is T giving us enough?"
Because if the answer is no, and we've already asked clearly for what we want, it's time to leave.

You'll think of it next time.

Not necessarily. That's just the form your attachment takes.
The big questions are:
1. Is he prepared to be your mother?
2. Is he a good enough mother?

Madame T passed the first test but not the second.

((Mastodon))

Sounds like you are "stuck". It could mean you are on the verge of a breakthrough.

Have you told your T you feel hopeless?
What would you need in order to get your hope back?

Mythbusters did a show about cold feet. Your feet really do get cold when you're scared. (Except perhaps for Tori. But that boy is tough.)

Well, you came the long way round. But you're here now!

RE: The Nail = I would probably be all like - "hey you've got a nail - but whatever - it is your forehead" and then think about other things when they talked.

Sometimes I wonder why I am not a therapist after all.

everything I want to say I"ve said before...no point in saying again....

RTS - do you mean to a therapist, your family, or here on the couch?

I did. I was all those things. I think it was because of all those things that finally gave me the courage blurt out what I did and even though it feels like me brain is bleeding the initial pressure of the past few days is easing up and I don't think I could have done it if I had't had all those feelings spurring me on.

Can someone please explain to me the concept of a mother figure. Is it someone you see as your mother or as an ideal mother.

Hello couch people *nervously perches on the edge* can I join in?

The thing is... I have my foot in plaster, and I can do very little. Most of my friends are on holiday or busy with their kids. I am going a little nutty obsessing about my therapy and my horrible childhood, and why i still let things I learned during said childhood to influence how i am now. Not sure if I want to talk about it or be distracted, but either way, it would be really good to have some folks to pass the time of day with...

BiP...my opinion its the mother you always wanted...the concept of what a mother should/would be ....

I don't think I'm clearly asking for what I want, or maybe explaining the reasons why. But the reasons why seem a little bit crazy. I think I'm in denial about the whole thing.

SD lost my response I wrote to you... lets just say I'm not going to be the lady with the nail in the forehead sitting on the couch anymore... after seeing what that guy was going through it was painful to think ughh that's me.

Thanks RTS I wasn't sure and always wanted to ask to ask T but it seemed so trivial compared with all the other stuff we were doing. Anyway my mothers don't rate that highly with me.