[wotchermuggle]

I had a question based from a different thread. For those of you who have hugged/been hugged by your therapist, are you and your therapist the same or opposite sex?

[kaliope]

believe it or not, I have never hugged my therapist...the idea creeps me out...hehe

Does whether they're the opposite gender matter? Are you asking because of the possibility of erotic transference and that 'slippery slope' with boundaries? What about if the client isn't heterosexual?

My heterosexual female T hugs this homosexual female client. (And no erotic transference).

[wotchermuggle]

Originally Posted by just_some_girl

Does whether they're the opposite gender matter? Are you asking because of the possibility of erotic transference and that 'slippery slope' with boundaries? What about if the client isn't heterosexual?

My heterosexual female T hugs this homosexual female client. (And no erotic transference).

I was wondering if the therapists were more willing to engage a patient through physical affection if they were the same sex vs. opposite.

I didn't think about the homosexual client actually.

[stopdog]

I tried seeing two male therapists in my selection of therapists just to see how I would react to them. One I left before the time was up because he was such a pompous condescending jerkwad. The other was a touchy feely sensitive wimpy guy who offered a hug for some reason. I did not do so, but it was unpleasant. So for me, gender has not appeared to make the difference. I usually see straight women who are older than I am (I am lesbian - seeing straight therapists means I do not worry about accidentally running into them on my own time). I saw one lesbian phd and she was bat-**** crazy (not because of phd or being lesbian - just as a general thing was she bs crazy - just added that because in my experience gender/sexual orientation has not mattered concerning hugging one way or the other)

[Raging Quiet]

My T has asked for hugs at the end of the final session for 3 times I have left therapy with her. She also hugged me after she told me we were stuck once and when I had found out some terrifying news a few years back. I've never asked her for a hug, the fact she can even stand to touch me amazes me, no matter how many showers a day I have or how fresh my clothes are; I never feel clean or worry what I smell like!

[MercilessShadow]

I would love hugs from my therapist but I am also worried about growing even more attached to my T because of it...

My straight female t always hugs this lesbian. T is so innocent though, she hasn't a clue about lesbians. She held her hand up on Saturday and said, I am not gay, I don't know what happens with two women but after the session she gave me a hug.

[rainbow8]

My T hugs me and I know she hugs other clients too, including her male clients. Usually the hug is quick and doesn't make me feel anything, except that it's a nice way to end the session. Once or twice it was a little longer, like when she or I were going away.

If my T were male, I think I'd feel very awkward hugging him.I think it would cause erotic transference much worse than I've had with my female Ts. I've never had a male T except for that brief experience with the pdoc.

I'm female, I get lots of hugs from my female therapist. They are great hugs...she always lets me let go first and I tend to hang on for awhile. Sometimes I let go and she pulls me back in for more hugs. Sometimes I come to the door and she's waiting for me with arms open wide. I am SO lucky!!!

[sunrise]

I am female. I had a female therapist--no hugs. I have a male therapist now--yes to hugs.

[growlithing]

Same sex. I couldn't do it if she was a man. I have a very difficult time with any physical contact from men and I don't know why. I think I automatically sexualize all of it for some reason. Probably because my dad ignored me. I wish I could get over that because I like men and deeply want physical contact with them but it just makes me feel weird for whatever reason..

[tinyrabbit]

I tend to sexualise relationships with men in a lot of circumstances but my T hugging me or holding my hand has always felt kind of parental and not sexual at all.

[WikidPissah]

Ick.

Never hugged a T.
Never want to.

lol.

Wiki...you make me laugh....

[sittingatwatersedge]

if my T were of the opposite sex I am quite sure I would never

never that is

think about hugs.

of course it willl never come up, as I will never have a T of the opposite sex!!!!!

As I posted in the other thread, I get nothing from their hugs (like I said...but its not a bad feeling either, it's just not helpful...so I let them hug me if they want to because I think they feel like they are helping me and doing their job better). Both of my Ts are male, so opposite sex (will never ever see a female T based on past experience) and the hugs aren't awkward except once in a while the one T squeezes too hard and I can't breathe for a second, lol...it's usually when he is hugging and expressing empathy for me at the same time. ("smilie" is not exactly right, but close enough. )