[kirby777]

Hi-

I was wondering if people pay attention to what they wear to T? Do you make yourself presentable? I know my T is judging me, but I do not have the energy to dress up nor do my hair & make up to go and see her.

Thanks.

[DePressMe]

I got my pdoc's records and hospital records for a legal issue so I read them...they always mentioned my appearance--usually as disheveled or appropriate. If you have a tough time with your appearance then maybe it's an important sign to your T. It may describe how you are feeling. I always went however I felt at the time--I think it was important to do that.....D.

[kirby777]

Originally Posted by DePressMe

I got my pdoc's records and hospital records for a legal issue so I read them...they always mentioned my appearance--usually as disheveled or appropriate. If you have a tough time with your appearance then maybe it's an important sign to your T. It may describe how you are feeling. I always went however I felt at the time--I think it was important to do that.....D.

Thanks.

I would like to just throw on scrub pants & a T shirt & sneakers...but I do not. I wear scrubs like most people wear sweat pants. I am sure she mentions in her notes how I look.

I generally go straight from work, so its my teacher clothes for me.

[Lamplighter]

Actually that's a good point, that a T probably notes a client's appearance as an indicator of mood and general stability. My T doesn't take notes though I expect he'd notice if I turned up looking a mess. But I never do, no matter who my T has been, male or female, I always feel like I need to go in looking presentable and tidy at least. But then, that's a reflection of my mind, the need to control and have everything nicely ordered. Hm interesting point really, if one's mind is chaotic and disordered, would one dress for T in a manner that showed that?

[scorpiosis37]

I wear whatever I am wearing that day. If I'm coming from/going to work I wear my work clothes-- business/professor attire. If I'm just "out and about" that day, it's usually boots/heels with leggings/jeans and a dressy shirt. If I'm coming from/going to the gym, then it's gym/yoga attire. I almost never leave the house without my hair/make-up/nails done, so they're done when I go to T as well. She knows I'm not a morning person, but one time, she could only fit me in at 7am. So, I showed up on time, dressed like I usually dress. She joked "Wow, heels even at 7am? I expected you tob e late and look like you just rolled out of bed. I know you're usually not up this early!" Once, when I was recovering from surgery, she did see me with no make-up and my glasses on (as opposed to contacts). I showered, but I didn't do anything beyond that to get ready. She joked: "Well, I guess it takes having surgery for you to wear your glasses. They don't look so bad!" (She knows I HATE them). But now, a year later, every once in a while, she will tease me: "You know, I HAVE seen you in glasses" or "Remember that time you wore your glasses?" It turns me beet red, but I don't actually mind the teasing.

[stopdog]

I usually wear jeans or khakis and a shirt and sneakers. If I have been in court or teaching without time to change, I will be in more businessy attire. I have short hair and I never wear makeup at all - so those are not really a consideration for me anywhere.

[noodlzzz]

I make an effort with makeup but the rest is just sneakers jeans and a hoodie. I do care what she thinks of how I look but not enough to make much of an effort lol.

I go straight from T to work so I wear work clothes, which basically means whole and clean and not too shabby-looking (I'm a university professor so nobody actually cares what I wear, but I still don't want to look weird in front of the students). I don't wear makeup ever, and my hair only needs five seconds of brushing to look as good as it ever will. So for me it's not something I'm concerned about.

However, I do pay attention to which Tshirt I wear; I often wear statement type Tshirts, and sometimes I do pick one that's particularly appropriate for T. And I make sure to wear socks without holes in them. My first appointment I realised halfway through that there was a hole in my sock (T's office is a strict no-shoes zone) which rather bothered me.

[noodlzzz]

Originally Posted by Mastodon

I go straight from T to work so I wear work clothes. I don't wear makeup ever, and my hair only needs five seconds of brushing to look as good as it ever will. So for me it's not something I'm concerned about.

However, I do pay attention to which Tshirt I wear; I often wear statement type Tshirts, and sometimes I do pick one that's particularly appropriate for T. And I make sure to wear socks without holes in them. My first appointment I realised halfway through that there was a hole in my sock (T's office is a strict no-shoes zone) which rather bothered me.

Reminds me when I wore one of my all saints t-shirts to T. It is a family of skeletons apart from the little girl. I wonder what T analysed from that lol.

[The_little_didgee]

I try to be presentable.

I am simple. Almost all my clothes are solid black because it is easy to choose what to wear.

No one has really commented on my appearance except for my affect.

[mandazzle]

I hate wearing "real clothes" as I call them, aka anything other than jeans and a hoodie or basketball shorts and a t-shirt. My T has commented on my appearance a few times. Sometimes I feel like crap though because my T always dresses so nice.

[pbutton]

I usually go in my work clothes. If i have a session on my day off, I generally dress for whatever I am doing afterwards - the gym, the grocery store, etc.

I generally wear makeup every day so I end up wearing it to T. I often throw my hair into a ponytail on my days off though.

[content30]

I almost always go straight from work. So, usually I'm business casual/business. Sometimes, I have a break in between the two, and I change into something more casual, like jeans. I did wear sweatpants to an 8pm appointment once. I always wear makeup and take care with my appearance. My mother and grandmother are stylish and put-together. I was just raised that way. Because I'm doing well, if I wore sweats, my T wouldn't note it. She does write about my "affect" but that has more to do with my visage than clothes.

When I was suicidal and on leave over 1.5 years ago, I didn't wear makeup and mostly wore jeans and a tshirt. I was just starting to see T, though. So, she had no baseline. Now, I never wear tshirts, except to sleep (see reference to 8pm session above). If I started to dress terribly all the time she would ask, I'm sure. I'd also have to be on leave, because my office is very professional. I couldn't dress to scraggly and come from work.

My T notices what I'm wearing and how I look, and will often comment on something - nail polish, clothes, weight, my hair... I always try to look presentable, but I think I definitely make less effort than I used to - for me I put this down to feeling more comfortable with her (and within myself generally).

I disagree with the assumption/marker 'they' seem to have about depression meaning you don't make an effort or care about your appearance - that CAN be the case, but isn't always.

[SkinnySoul]

Hm...

In the winter, I usually throw on some leggings, a long loose blouse, some boots and a coat. Ι wear minimun make up, like a casual smokey eye or something.
In summer it's mostly shorts, skirts and dresses, I hate long pants when it's hot outside.

That's the way I dress for everyday activities, so that's how I look when I go to T as well.

However, if I'm more depressed than usual, I skip make up and pull my hair up in a ponytail(which I otherwise don't like when out of the house). I may even get too lazy to put on my contact lenses and stick to my glasses, which --again-- I don't like when going out.

[MotownJohnny]

I go straight from work, where I have to dress office/professional, suit and tie. So, not an issue. And frankly, she has commented a number of times about how nice I look, she seems to like my fashion sense. And, I work really hard on looking good. When I go to the psychiatrist, it is absolutely best suit, best tie, best shirt, shoes, coat, best cologne (usually CK One). Like that Roxette song from about 20 years ago "Dress for Success". Also, when I was doing the day hospital, one thing mentioned, primarily in patients with depression, was failure to keep up their physical appearance and hygiene. I adopted a philosophy of "do the opposite" so actually dropped some change at high end places like Nordstrom and Macy's on upgrading my wardrobe, plus I lost a lot of weight so I needed to anyway.

[AnnaBegins]

I usually work from home when I have t appointments so I end up going in yoga pants and a t shirt and clogs. I do make some amount of effort to pull my hair back in a ponytail so it's not completely all over the place but I often skip the makeup and contact lenses.

The one time I was coming straight from work, I was dressed business casual and he made a comment about how nice it was to finally be meeting "Business Anna". It got me really upset although I don't think he meant it to - I felt like he liked the mask I put on to function at work more than he liked the real me that showed up to his office looking more vulnerable.

[kirby777]

When I go out, I usually wear my contacts and have make up on. I do my hair and wear nice clothes. But to go to the T, if I am going to cry, why wear my contacts or have my make up run? Today she mentioned my "Life is Good" T shirt.

no. i look like a poor, young 20-something with messed-up hair. i have too many other things to worry about then my appearance right now.

if T is judging me for my clothes, then she is shallow and needs better training. it may be mood indicative, if a client goes from beauty to a beast, but otherwise...some people are just casual.

plus, in the crowd i hang with (mostly artists and musicians) it is cool to be messy.

[photostotake]

I pay way more attention than I should to what I wear to see my T. I'm also dealing with an eating disorder and lots of negative body image stuff, so it isn't easy getting ready any day. He's made comments (not hurtful) about my clothing choices in the past, so I do pay attention to what I wear when I see him each time. He's not even my ED t. My ED t I only see when I am at the ED clinic, so I am dressed pretty casual while there anyway. Again, paying pretty close attention to what I've chosen for the day already. I will say that comfort is key, but I never look like a slob or anything.

[tealBumblebee]

You know, I was curious about this too.

I dress nicely (light make up and newer less worn items) when I actually have something outside of the norm to do. When t first met me last month, I was in summer school - thus tending to care a little more about my appearance.

Finals week was the end of a down week for me, so not only did I feel fat in everything I wore but I was more focused on passing my test than appearance. So, it was the first time I went looking moderately slack (pencil in pony, t shirt). Needless to say, that was the first time my t didn't mention how "pretty" I was or how I was wearing a nice color (grey)...

Now that i'm out of school and back to doing nothing but staying home, babysitting, going to work, coming back home - I wonder if I should dress to keep up appearances (since she met me when I cared) or should I wear what I would normally wear (jeans, shirt, flip flop) and she'll just figure out that I have a pretty laid back style anyways. I'm still trying to figure out if she is "noting" it or simply noticing it...

This is an interesting thread. Ts are trained to notice our appearance and especially the colour of our clothes. I tend to agree with justsomegirl. When she said she thought that wasn't always the case. I myself dressed up especially for t every week when I was at my lowest and because if that she didn't believe how bad I was feeling and told me I didn't have depression because my appearance said otherwise.
She is my ex t for a reason. My t now says I am a good actress because I hide how I am feeling so well and she always notices my clothes and comments on them when she likes them. I wear heels, makeup, lots of perfume and she noticed when I switched perfume too which freaked me out. She said, oh Mona you have new perfume on, what happen to the coca mademoiselle ? I didn't even know the name myself.

[tinyrabbit]

I'm a writer and I work from home so I don't have 'work clothes' as such. A while ago I noticed something about how I dress for T: I always wear something that covers my stomach, usually a dress over jeans or maybe a long top. I have some body image issues and feel better covered up it seems. I make sure my socks don't have holes also!

I don't wear eye make-up to T as I may cry it off. Often I don't wear any anyway but sometimes I'll have a bit of foundation and blusher. I almost always have my nails painted though - I've told my T it cheers me up so he shouldn't judge my mood by whether I bothered to do my nails.

I wonder how many of you are affected by how your T dresses? I don't look super dressed down compared to my T as he doesn't wear suits or ties. He's never commented on my clothes apart from once to ask if I'd worn odd socks on purpose.

[stopdog]

I don't notice what the therapist wears.