[BlessedRhiannon]

This morning, I woke up in a major panic. I haven't been sleeping well, I woke up shaking and feeling sick. Usually, that's a pre-cursor to my anxiety spiraling out of control. I got up, took a Xanax, then lay down and snuggled with the dogs and tried to just concentrate on my breathing. It wasn't working!! After an hour and a half, I called T and left her a message.

An hour after leaving the message, I started calming down, so I texted T and told her to disregard my voice mail.

I feel foolish for calling T this morning. If she'd answered, I know talking right at that moment would have helped. Now, I'm back in "I'm dealing with it, I'm functioning fine" mode and don't want her to call me back. I don't want to talk about it now. I'm seeing T next week, and we can talk about it then. I know I need to watch my anxiety levels for the rest of the week, and I know I'm going to have to work to stay calm, but I just don't want to bug T by asking her to call me. We'd talk about the same skills as always, and I don't think I need to to go over those with me again. Yes, talking to T usually helps, but I don't WANT to right now! AHHHHHHH!!!!!

It was proberbly the act of contacting T that enabled you to relax.

[BlessedRhiannon]

Originally Posted by _Mouse

It was proberbly the act of contacting T that enabled you to relax.

You know, you're probably right. Or at least not feel quite so frantic.

T did text me back and we had a short text conversation. I'm feeling cranky and my sarcasm is in overdrive at the moment. A phone conversation with me in this mood would be non-productive. The contact via text helped a bit. It's hard to really express sarcasm and be totally obnoxious in 160 characters or less. I'm going to journal some and see if I can't sort through some crap.

[purplejell]

I've totally had this dilemma before... intense feelings and you call, but then they get better and it seems irrelevant by the time they call back. I think you are definitely not alone in that, and it doesn't make it wrong that you called.

[Asiablue]

Originally Posted by BlessedRhiannon

You know, you're probably right. Or at least not feel quite so frantic.

T did text me back and we had a short text conversation. I'm feeling cranky and my sarcasm is in overdrive at the moment. A phone conversation with me in this mood would be non-productive. The contact via text helped a bit. It's hard to really express sarcasm and be totally obnoxious in 160 characters or less. I'm going to journal some and see if I can't sort through some crap.

Yet somehow i manage it, i see it as a creative challenge!

Hope you're feeling a bit better now

[BlessedRhiannon]

Originally Posted by Asiablue

Yet somehow i manage it, i see it as a creative challenge!

Hope you're feeling a bit better now

Yeah, I still manage it too. It's just not quite as bad as if I were on the phone or in person.

My last text to my T said that I was mad at myself and apologized for the sarcasm.

I still feel frantic, but I think writing will help. I'm going to fix some lunch and then write for a bit.