[hezaa82]

So I've been asking my parents to help pay for my T sessions. Money's not really an issue for my family so it was no problem. My family's in the US but I do Skype therapy with my T who is in Canada. Everything was fine until one day my mom say a bunch of charges from Canada and assumed someone had hacked the card and went and cancelled the card. This is where the headache started. I talked to my dad and he said he was still more than willing to help pay for my sessions and suggested I use my debit card and he'd put the money in my account. The debit card wouldn't go through, probably because it was Canada again and the bank was suspicious. I told my dad to call them (I'm living in Japan or else I'd call them myself) but he hasn't done it yet. The counselor's office now wants a physical signature on the paperwork because of all this headache over payment. I'm asking my dad to sign the paperwork but he's not answering and now T's office won't give me any more sessions until they get payment sorted out. I'm really upset because I want to talk to my T and I'm upset that my dad isn't helping me out. The last time I talked to him he was asking me some things that bothered me ie "Is therapy really helpful for you?" I feel like he doesn't understand how important it is. I don't want to wait another few weeks to talk to my T again

[CantExplain]

((Hezza))

Could you get you Dad to set up an automatic payment?

[hezaa82]

That's what we're trying to do. We had it on automatic payment before but my mom cancelled it because she thought someone in Canada was hacking the card. I need my dad's signature on the payment paperwork to set up automatic payments with the new card.

I just don't get why my parents can't do this one thing for me. I don't know if subconsciously they actually don't want to pay for me? Or because I'm in a different country it's an out of sight out of mind thing? Or because they like to ignore problems and hop they go away?

[Wren_]

sounds totally frustrating for you
i hope payment can be worked out very soon so you don't need to miss more T sessions

[Perna]

I don't know how much you pay but I would just ask your parents for, say $5,000/whatever a year's worth costs (say, 45 sessions) and solve it yourself. If you are working/paying for most of it yourself I would make a plan to pay back your parents, make it wholly your own therapy/problem.

[WikidPissah]

So, you live in Japan, have a T in Canada and the payment comes from the US. That is really complicated! I think the best thing to do (I am assuming you are not a minor) is take T into your own hands as perna said. Can you take control and not rely on your family? It would be great if they were willing, but they aren't. Why can't you call your bank, work out the issues with them, and find out what is needed to use your own card for this? I hope it works out.

[learning1]

How long have you been waiting for your Dad to answer? Is it possible he just hasn't gotten to it yet, if he's been unusually busy or something? It's frustrating and too bad that he doesn't realize how important it is to you, but if he's offering to pay a lot for you, it is worth the hassle and the wait? Especially if it hasn't been too long yet?

[unaluna]

Isn't it kind of weird to have your parents pay for your therapy? It sounds like your dad is hinting he no longer Iis interested, if the only result he sees is you yelling at him and telling him he doesnt call you enough. Plus I thought people went overseas to work in order to make more money than they can in the Americas. So why dont you have money to pay a t?

I think the main issue, which the t payment hilites, is that you haven't really separated from your parents. Have your ts mentioned this at all? It was my ts mantra for many many years and I had no freakin idea what they were talking about. So I get it. There's reality, and then there was MY reality.

[hezaa82]

Hankster, that's something to think about I guess. Actually I haven't had my parents pay for anything for me for the last 8 years, but I actually reached out to them and asked them for some help with paying for therapy in April because I was having financial problems. Since then I've been proactive and I've taken on a couple part time jobs so pretty soon I can be on my own feet again. I moved to Japan not for financial reasons but for psychological reasons. Growing up in a dysfunctional family has made me do a lot of things to "reject them before they can reject me" etc. Anyway that's a whole nother story.

Originally Posted by hezaa82

Hankster, that's something to think about I guess. Actually I haven't had my parents pay for anything for me for the last 8 years, but I actually reached out to them and asked them for some help with paying for therapy in April because I was having financial problems. Since then I've been proactive and I've taken on a couple part time jobs so pretty soon I can be on my own feet again. I moved to Japan not for financial reasons but for psychological reasons. Growing up in a dysfunctional family has made me do a lot of things to "reject them before they can reject me" etc. Anyway that's a whole nother story.

I think it's great you are trying and also made such a big move away from your family if it was necessary! That was very brave of you; I don't think most people could do it. And there is no shame in asking your family for some financial assistance if you need it.