[Tarra]

Uuurgh

Would you like to talk about it tarra? only if you are ready!

[Tarra]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

Would you like to talk about it tarra? only if you are ready!

Thanks monalisa. I don't know. It's just a big mess of different things that's making me feel confused and bad. I guess I'm putting myself under pressure to make progress; I want to get out of the feeling awful part of this process. But every time I journal or go to therapy I seem to find more things that are issues rather than resolving the things that are already issues. Well, we've made progress on some things, but the pile of things to tackle seems to be growing higher. And then in between sessions life throws in a few more.

Nothing seems stable at the moment, including myself.

[golden1]

I am feeling quite like that myself the past few days.
I'm finding it difficult to sleep these days. Usually I put my head to the pillow and I'm out like a light. Now I toss and turn, and sleep is just not happening!
What's got you feeling uggh??

[golden1]

I'd like to give some positive advice, but I'm feeling like you at the minute! well the last few weeks. Just finding it hard to see if any of my friends or family are on my side.

[golden1]

Originally Posted by Tarra

Thanks monalisa. I don't know. It's just a big mess of different things that's making me feel confused and bad. I guess I'm putting myself under pressure to make progress; I want to get out of the feeling awful part of this process. But every time I journal or go to therapy I seem to find more things that are issues rather than resolving the things that are already issues. Well, we've made progress on some things, but the pile of things to tackle seems to be growing higher. And then in between sessions life throws in a few more.

Nothing seems stable at the moment, including myself.

Hope you're feeling ok. Not feeling the best myself! but apparently it gets better. Ithink I kind of like just wollowing in my own sad world

Ackkkk, it's horrible isn't it?
How far into your therapy are you? I am guessing under a year!
Is not easy and never will be. We are brave and courageous because we face things head on and look to better ourselves, we take responsibility for our stuff and sometimes it has consequences. We are looking where most people don't- inside and it's one of the hardest things to do.
I hear all of the ups but mostly downs in your post. Does your t put pressure on you for progress or changes?
All of this pressure you put on yourself, is this a recurring theme in your life?
Have you done something nice for yourself lately? I find that when I am deep in therapy I become serious and forget to laugh and enjoy life. It's good to play and have fun and forget our worries. Maybe some mindfulness would help you

[Tarra]

Originally Posted by monalisasmile

Ackkkk, it's horrible isn't it?
How far into your therapy are you? I am guessing under a year!
Is not easy and never will be. We are brave and courageous because we face things head on and look to better ourselves, we take responsibility for our stuff and sometimes it has consequences. We are looking where most people don't- inside and it's one of the hardest things to do.
I hear all of the ups but mostly downs in your post. Does your t put pressure on you for progress or changes?
All of this pressure you put on yourself, is this a recurring theme in your life?
Have you done something nice for yourself lately? I find that when I am deep in therapy I become serious and forget to laugh and enjoy life. It's good to play and have fun and forget our worries. Maybe some mindfulness would help you

I guess I put a lot of pressure on myself, I'm kind of a perfectionist. It's a long habit and I'm not sure how not to. Like, I realised that I was putting myself under pressure to do what I was 'supposed to', rather than meeting my own emotional needs, so resolved to try and change that. Then a few weeks later realised I was feeling extremely pressurised and guilty about not being good enough at putting my emotional needs first! My inner critic manages to criticise me from both sides.

[Tarra]

Originally Posted by golden1

I'd like to give some positive advice, but I'm feeling like you at the minute! well the last few weeks. Just finding it hard to see if any of my friends or family are on my side.

Welcome to psychcentral golden, sorry you're feeling this way too.

[tinyrabbit]

My T once told me I was too focused on using the sessions "well". A lot of the real progress happens unconsciously, in my opinion. So go, talk about what you need to, and it will work itself out!

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by Tarra

But every time I journal or go to therapy I seem to find more things that are issues rather than resolving the things that are already issues. Well, we've made progress on some things, but the pile of things to tackle seems to be growing higher. And then in between sessions life throws in a few more.

This sounds very much like my first couple of years of therapy. I went to therapy to work on X, and discovered what I also needed to work on, and perhaps even more importantly, was A, B, C, D, and E. It was pretty overwhelming and it seemed like I would never see daylight. But with steady work, I got through a lot. Now things seem more manageable and I am able to tackle new problems as they arise without such a huge (lifelong) backlog of problems cluttering everything up. So I just want to offer encouragement to keep going with your work, don't give up, and be open to working on problems you didn't even realize you needed to work on before you entered therapy. Good luck.