[rainbow8]

I wasn't expecting an email canceling my appointment for tomorrow but I just got one, at around 10 p.m. She said something came up and offered me Wednesday or Friday. Both days are bad for me but I'm going to miss the next 2 weeks because of going to visit my daughter--so I settled for Wednesday. I have to cancel a massage or go earlier, and I have an eye dr. appointment that I'll probably be a little late for now. Usually I have to wait an hour for him so that's okay, I guess. It will be a long day. I'm going somewhere at night too! And now I have nothing scheduled for tomorrow at all!

T forgot that I asked her to do scheduling by phone. She knows 10 is not too late to call in MY house. Oh, well. She apologized for canceling the night before and thanked me in the email confirming Wednesday.

I wrote it was okay because we're both human, as she told me (I wrote that whole sentence). I bet it has to do with her divorce. No, I didn't write that to her!

It's supposed to be very hot tomorrow and her office A/C doesn't work too well, so it's just as well. I'm glad she's not sick, also. I don't want to miss 3 weeks!!

It's still a crummy feeling to have my appointment changed. Ya know?!

[HealingTimes]

Ah that feeling sucks. Sending you hugs.

[Asiablue]

You have nothing arranged for today now- GO get that massage today instead!

[rainbow8]

Originally Posted by Asiablue

You have nothing arranged for today now- GO get that massage today instead!

It's a friend of mine (she's got a license and she's good) and she can't do it today. I've got lots to do at home so it's okay. That was a good idea, though. I'll still go tomorrow morning before therapy unless she can do Thursday.

[skysblue]

Originally Posted by rainbow8

It's still a crummy feeling to have my appointment changed. Ya know?!

Once my T cancelled about an hour before session because she got very sick. I was devastated. It was very hard for me.

I don't think it would be as difficult now but in those days I was very needy.

[rainbow8]

Originally Posted by skysblue

Once my T cancelled about an hour before session because she got very sick. I was devastated. It was very hard for me.

I don't think it would be as difficult now but in those days I was very needy.

I don't think it matters if someone is needy or not to be upset about a cancellation 1 hour before an appointment. It throws off your schedule when that happens, even if it's not a T appointment.

I think a former T did that to me and it was very hard. She was taking her H to the hospital so of course I understood, but it messed up my day.

I sure hope my T can see me tomorrow. I'm getting a little nervous thinking about it.

[rainbow8]

I just wanted to say something about T emailing me and not calling. I really think she just doesn't like to do scheduling by phone, so I'm going to accept that fact. It didn't trigger me; I think if she had called me, it would have. So, I'll forget that she forgot! She has told me in the past that she has a bad memory and asked me recently if it bothered me. I'm older than she is and I forget things, so I understand.

[Jdog123]

Originally Posted by rainbow8

I think a former T did that to me and it was very hard. She was taking her H to the hospital so of course I understood, but it messed up my day.

I imagine that the T, her husband, and their family and close friends had their days more messed up than yours! My T's mother recently died after a 2+ week hospitalization. Our appointments were irregular and it was tough, but I never thought of it as messing up my day--I had a lot of compassion for the pain that she was going through watching her mother die. Framing like this helps it be less hard.

[rainbow8]

Originally Posted by Jdog123

I imagine that the T, her husband, and their family and close friends had their days more messed up than yours! My T's mother recently died after a 2+ week hospitalization. Our appointments were irregular and it was tough, but I never thought of it as messing up my day--I had a lot of compassion for the pain that she was going through watching her mother die. Framing like this helps it be less hard.

Thanks. I'm sorry your T's mother passed away. I know I reacted selfishly back then; I wasn't in a good place and wanted to see my T. I don't react well to "surprises" which happen all too often in real life. Any change is hard for me. T wants to know my goals for the rest of therapy. I'll add that one: how to adjust to "surprises" in life. I think DBT distress tolerance skills have helped but maybe not enough.

I don't think it's either/or. Another DBT lesson. I had compassion for my T AND it messed up my day. Both are possible at the same time.

Years later, I have compassion for my T because I don't think she wanted to have to take off today. When she's sick, I care about her. Yet I still don't like to miss or have my session postponed.