Reclining

Lying (in the "reclining" sense) on the couch is something I have been wondering about, what it would be like. I have read others' experiences of it, but as always we can't know what something is like for us before we try it. I just wanted to post some of my own first impressions, in case anybody should find it interesting.

For last Tuesday's session, my T and I had agreed that I would try lying down on the couch in his office, instead of sitting in a chair. The couch is at the other end of the office. He'd told me that he would bring his chair over from the usual area, and place it slightly behind my head. I had imagined that he would sit facing away from me, and also that he would be completely behind me. I was rather apprehensive, but I very much wanted to try this: T had mentioned the possibility a couple of times, but I was the one who asked him if I could try it now.

So on Tuesday morning I got there, and T and I shook hands, and I lay down without any further preamble. T's chair was in fact placed so it faced me, and I found that I could also see him if I turned my head. I felt rather anxious to begin with. It took me a few minutes to get my breathing in order. And just as I started to feel okay, somebody rang T's doorbell - the next client had misunderstood her appointment time, and T had to go and talk to her. That only took about 30 seconds, but it made me very disconcerted, and when T returned I was sitting up - I did not want to be lying down in case somebody was about to barge into the room! (I knew that was extremely unlikely to happen, but it's a deep fear I have.) Anyway, T asked if I wanted to return to the usual seated arrangement, but I told him no, I did want to try this properly. So we had our session, and I thought it went all right, though the interruption at the beginning did make me feel uncomfortable for quite a while after. I never cry - in therapy or out of it - but this time I had a few tears running down the sides of my face when I was talking. That has only happened twice before, I think, in my year with this T.

T asked at the end of the session whether I wanted to go back to sitting up, but I replied that I wanted to lie down again, next time. So on Thursday I did, and that was one of the most productive sessions I've had, I think. I started by stating that I don't really trust him completely. We talked about that for a while, and segued into some very difficult topics indeed from there (not that the trust issue is not difficult - it is!) It was terribly painful, but, as I say, productive. I felt much less constricted by my own self-censoring - it was not gone completely by any means, but it was unusually easy for me to talk. I don't know if that was because I was lying down, but I will definitely keep trying this for a while.

I had thought that I'd feel more disconnected from T when I couldn't see him, but I did not, in fact, feel that. Being able to see him (with a slight bit of effort) helps. His chair was also slightly closer to the couch than it has been to the chair I've been sitting in. I also thought I would feel horribly vulnerable knowing that he could see me, but as a matter of fact I forgot to wonder about whether he was looking at me as I got involved in what we were talking about.

I imagine that I might want to go back to sitting up, at some point, but for now, reclining seems to work well.

Interesting post, Mastodon. I've had similar experiences with lying down in therapy. My interim T often has clients lie on a mat on the floor; apparently there is a shift in mind/body communication when in that position that facilitates a deeper exploration of feelings.

We are strange creatures, us humans, are we not?

I'm impressed you will willing to try laying down. My T says some of his clients do, but I could never do it. It feels too threatening to lay down, to me.

Sounds like an interesting experiment.

That is great that you found a way to connect better based on your seating arrangement. I would think lying down would cause one to relax more.

Thanks for sharing your experiences of lying on the couch Mastadon
I enjoyed reading about it.
I have experienced lying on the couch, we had to try it the Freudian way in class and it was very enlightening and almost freeing. We had to do it in the free association way and it worked well for me because I didn't have to have any eye contact. I found it easier to just say the things that are in my head- the things that are deeply private and have never left my mouth. Also it helped not to see the ohter persons reactions and body language because sometimes this stops me in my tracks as I think I have said something wrong. My t always has a strong reaction to deep stuff.
I hope your next session is as productive as Thursdays was

Thank you for your comments! I know this is not something that works for everybody, and I'm not suggesting that anybody should try it unless they feel at least sort of comfortable with the thought of doing it. It is peculiar, the way I seem to relax more when lying down. Maybe the fact that I take a painkiller beforehand, so my back won't bother me so much, helps. (It's just an over the counter Ibuprofen, no relaxant, but lessening the physical pain a little is of course relaxing in itself.) And yes, I focus a bit too much on T's reactions, trying to interpret his facial expressions and body language, when I can see him - not to mention that I worry about whether I should be looking at him or not. (I'm Swedish. Swedes don't do eye contact much. My T is not Swedish, but has lived here for over 30 years.) That being said, I do miss seeing his occasional smile

Maybe it's also partly because I tend to formulate my issues when I'm lying in bed late at night, which is one of the times I feel more or less safe. But perhaps the cause-effect works in the other direction, because of the mind/body communication thing FeelTheBurn mentioned.

It is interesting, at any rate. I think tomorrow's session will be difficult because I am going through an extremely rough time at the moment. Remains to be seen whether lying down will make it more or less difficult.

There is a love seat in my T's office but I do not think he uses it for cients to lie down. He has great leather ergonomic swivel chairs that lean back for the clients....very comfy.

thanks for sharing how the experience worked for you ... you shared a lot i hadnt considered before about the dynamics involved
how did the next session go with reclining?

Thank you for asking! Tuesday's session was a bit of a muddle. I said lots but didn't feel I managed to express very much, if you see what I mean. This morning's session was very productive and helpful, though, and even slightly catharctic.

My T is one of the good ones. Not perfect, but he does "get" me, and I'm starting to suspect that he is genuinely invested in my wellbeing.

Apologies for bumping this again. I just wanted to mention something else: I really have a much easier time expressing emotions when I'm lying down. Last week I got a bit angry with T, and today I cried more than I have done for years. (Note to self: bring tissues in future.)

Unfortunately, the fact that so much more is happening in T means that life between sessions has become very hard indeed.

I don't think I could do it lying down...I've sat in the exact same spot on the couch every single time I've seen my T except once when it was POURING outside and I got absolutely soaked and had to sit on the other side of the couch my my T's space heater to dry off and warm up. I sit in the corner on the couch, and for me, that's a very secure place. It allows me to curl up or shrink down and hide if I get uncomfortable. I can't imagine sitting somewhere else...and it's not like there aren't plenty of other places!!

Mast - do you think the lying down itself is what has helped or caused the crying?

I think it is, yes. At least to some extent.

Hey Mast...
I didn't see this thread before, so I am glad it got bumped.
Very interesting. I used to have horror at the thought of reclining in T, but after reading this I think I'd be more open to it.

This is really interesting. And it sounds like it's been good for you, even though it's unsettling. When I moved to my T's private practice, there was a sofa in his office, but it was on the other side of the room from the two recliner chairs. I asked him if anyone ever sat on the sofa, and he said he sometimes saw couples. I guess he pulled the non-recliner chair to face the sofa on those occasions. But somehow I got the sense that wasn't where I was intended to sit--it felt too far away from his chair-- so I never did. I did lie down once when I felt ill, but there wasn't much talking going on.