Ever wonder what your T thinks about you?

It took me quite a few months before I realised I was doing it.

It is not always mind reading. Sometimes it is hope. Or at least what makes going possible. I imagine the therapist to be detached and therefore safer than if she was all involved. What she really is does not matter as long as I can make her stay back.

I don't have to wonder because my T has told me numerous times that she likes me very much. She told me specifics of what she likes about me, too.

On the other hand, she has also told me what she doesn't like about me, but it's always related to something I say in the session, or my expression. I mean she doesn't give me a list of my faults! It's more like therapeutic, constructive criticism. Once she told me she was frustrated with me.

At my last session I asked if she's sitting there thinking about my fat stomach, and she said "no". Of course she's not going to say "yes" to that, even though I've told her she's too skinny.

Of course in private she may wonder why I can't get on with my life without therapy and why I stay in my marriage. She may wonder why I can't lose 5 or 10 lbs. But basically I know she feels affection for me.

Yes, it's hard to see a group of people whom I perceive to generally be empathetic, helpful, and invested in their own healing call themselves so many unfair, untrue, and unpleasant things. From this thread, one would think we are all a bunch of horrible people with a-holes for therapists!

I have no doubt the truth is more positive and more simple than we imagine. There are few professions like mental health, where the majority of practitioners strive to connect with and understand the essential, lovable human being within each client. Hard to do that and continue to think negative things about those same human beings.

Sometimes I feel sad that I will probably never hear exactly what my T thinks of me. But I'm learning to be content with letting her caring and guidance help me rewrite what I think of myself.

This! Exactly this!

Yea, of course I care about what people think of me, but I don't dwell on it. I want to be liked and thought well of, but let's face it, you can't control what others think. Maybe they'll come up with an app for that sooner or later?

T's think things, positive and negative. I remember when I went to XT for a while there was a heavy smoker before me. His office would smell awful, the chair smelled awful. It was gross. I finally said "sheesh...can we open the window? My eyes are watering" and he said "yes! Thank you. The smell is so hard to deal with". So I KNOW he sat there with that patient and thought about the horrid smell, BUT I am sure he also listened to her and tried to help her.

I know she wonders why she's bothering if I haven't gotten any better, so what's the point?

Today my T actually said I am very avoidant

T thinks I am genuine , funny and kind . She has told me this and sometimes I think that she wants to keep me in therapy forever...

This made me LOL!

For a while, I was convinced that my T was going to have me locked away for having weird inner thoughts and suicidal thinking at night.

Then she told me she didn't have that power and I felt a huge weight lift.

Sometimes, my T gives me a harsh glare and other times she is really gentle and caring. I have a strong inner critic and one time, T stood down the inner critic and this other part of me was like, "Yay! T stood up for the REAL me."

I guess that T probably has different thoughts about different parts of me. I have no idea what she makes of the whole. I imagine she can tolerate me / like me well enough for one hour per week. Beyond that, I don't think she thinks about me very much. That makes me half-sad and half-relieved that I don't have to take care of her.

I know my T thinks I am funny and very bright as he has said so.

But I think it's actions, not words, that really tell me what he thinks.

All the time...but I know she is invested in me..it's not just the $$ ( of course she needs to make a living) but she is present with me, that tells me she is interested in me and what is going on with me. I have asked her a few times what she thought...not so much about me but where I was at,etc. She just told me last week that I seemed "tentative". Still working on that one In a nutshell..I think she likes me and cares but within the therapeutic boundaries.

My t tells me what she thinks of me. Its 99.9% positive.which shocks me.i always think she must think i am a bad person but she promises thwt i am not

She most probably thinks I'm a waste of time because she's mentioned changing to one session every other week because we have nothing to talk about. I do have things to talk about but it's getting increasingly difficult.. but she's probably right, there are others who need that time slot more than me and who could use it better than me.

I think my t thinks

*i'm difficult
*i'm childish and annoying
*i complain too much
*i really am crazy
*she can't help me but won't say it cause then she'll look bad in supervison
*she agrees that i'm a pig
*she could care less wether i go or not go to therapy because it's my life and why should she care

Sucks.....i just don't find someone else cause i'm too lazy to start all over and deep down inside can't verify that the above is in fact a correct assumption...oh well

For me, one of the realizations from knowing my T for so long, and from his presence in my life post-therapy, is that he hasn't changed. While I was in therapy, especially in the first few years, it always surprised me when he said anything positive about me. And, of course, I didn't fully accept it and rationalized that it was just therapy-speak, or his job, or what he had to say. Even though his actions were never at odds with his words.

Now, when he has total choice and freedom to continue contact with me or walk away, he chooses contact. Of course, it's an illusion because he always could have walked away during therapy, too, yet I used that distorted thinking to deflect his regard. The only difference between then and now--my perspective.

T said she thinks I am very kind and caring?! I wonder all the time what she really thinks about what I do to myself and what a failure I am. I am so surprised when she is there each week - I am convinced she will soon start coming up with reasons for not seeing me weekly. Actually it has happened already - I am sure this is because she thinks I am a failure and a waste of her time.

I didn't get it that you were so clearly aware of that as you said here.

I'm glad lots of people's therapists are supportive and actually think more positive things than their clients expect. In my case, the therapist said maybe therapy wasn't for me, that he didn't like talking to me sometimes, and he pushed me to quit. I hope it's worth posting this in case I'm not the only one whose therapist's overall view turned out to be negative. At least for people whose therapists have said they have some negative views, you're not the only one. I know I'm not the only one to get dumped by a therapist, though some therapists could still have mostly positive views about their clients when they dump them.