T's Dog in session

WePow · Sep 16, 2013, 04:42 PM

I've seen my T for about 5 years now. I know he has dogs... I also have dogs...

Lately one of his dogs has had anxiety issues and my T has started bringing him with him to the office. He is a larger dog.

I did not mind the first time... that I could tell. The dog is quiet and sits by T and T rubs his ears sometimes. And the dog likes me.

But T mentioned he thinks he may have to start bringing him into the office all the time now.

It feels like a third person is now in session with us. It makes me feel lonely now even when I am with T and he is listening to me.

I am also undergoing testing with another T for aspie traits. That T is very matter of fact. I like my T better. But I am seriously considering lowering my sessions with my T and using the money to have the other T help me on the more focused problem.

Is that bad of me to actually begrudge T's dog being in session?

wotchermuggle · Sep 16, 2013, 04:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by WePow

Is that bad of me to actually begrudge T's dog being in session?

No, I don't think so, if it's because it feels like his attention is not fully on you because he's attending to the dog (by petting him).

Jdog123 · Sep 16, 2013, 05:22 PM

I have had this same problem. My T occasionally brings in her dog and because it's not an often thing, I can't really say anything (her husband works from home, but when he's out of town she will bring the dog to work). It doesn't happen often, maybe 6 times a year max, but it is a little bothersome just because I want all of her attention... Makes me feel like a 5 year old, but I think it's a fair comment. But, in my case it's rare, so I can live with it. I do think that if she brought her dog more often I would say something. It's tough. Good luck!

Asiablue · Sep 16, 2013, 05:27 PM

Does it maybe bother you also because your T isn't really asking you if it's ok and just assuming it is. That would annoy me. However since i love dogs i would actually really like a dog in my session, i would sit on the floor with it

WePow · Sep 16, 2013, 05:33 PM

I like the dog a lot. I think it is because it is a boy dog. I have issues with men anyway and when I am with my T, I don't want him to be hanging out with the guys.
I almost typed "Talking with my brothers" .... I think that is the key.

stopdog · Sep 16, 2013, 05:34 PM

The therapist I see brings her dog to her office at times. I do not make appointments for the time the dog is there. It happened one time early on that she surprised me with the dog being there and it was a disaster. It was such a disaster that she apologized (and it is the only thing she has ever apologized for). I like dogs but I don't want one at the appointment.

A Red Panda · Sep 16, 2013, 05:44 PM

I would be upset too.

Other people can't just take their dog to work with them. They are expected to make arrangements. So unless the client (you) has given express permission, then the dog should not be in the room.

I like dogs, but I wouldn't want one in an appointment with me. I'm mildly allergic but can't resist petting them - and then I end up with an itchy arm. And I wouldn't give the T any of my attention.

tinyrabbit · Sep 16, 2013, 05:52 PM

You are attached to your T. So is the dog. So it's not surprising you don't want it there in your session.

I'm scared of dogs. I think I'd like it if my T had a cat, but actually I think I'd feel weird if he paid attention to the cat and not me.

It's not "bad" of you to have feelings and I really think you should tell your T. I doubt you're the only client who has an issue with it.

Wren_ · Sep 16, 2013, 08:06 PM

I don't think it is bad of you at all

... it is changing the dynamics of your therapy and it is more than ok to let your T know that while you like his dog, and didn't mind the once off visit, you prefer sessions where it is just the two of you ...

is there somewhere else his dog can go at the office while you have your session? (e.g. outside, another area of the building?)

growlycat · Sep 16, 2013, 09:09 PM

If my T was petting a dog in my session, I think i'd be oddly jealous.

anilam · Sep 17, 2013, 10:55 AM

I love dogs, have two and the few times I brought them to therapy I absolutely hated it. IDK why, it just wasn't right. I guess, once an animal is in the room my attention is partly on it and I find it distracting while in therapy.
However, with you it's more about transference than anything else (dog = brothers). Worth discussing over with your T. Still, perfectly OK for you to ask your T to leave his dog at home/somewhere else why you are in the room.

Littlemeinside · Sep 17, 2013, 11:12 AM

I had a T who always had her dog with her in sessions. Appart from not being able to interact like I usually do around animals ( It did some funny stuff) it had a female name ( and it was a male )...It was pretty much used to symbolise the "child" ...once she even said: Look the child is trying to make eyecontact... As far as I know dogs see it as aggressive behaviour when you look them straight into their eyes. It was mental and I don´t blame anyone for thinking a dog shouldn´t be in their sessions.

WikidPissah · 01:29 PM

I am a huge dog lover. HUGE. I adore my dogs and like to bring them everywhere. They come before anyone usually. BUT, if a friend, or a client or even an acquaintance told me they preferred to not have a dog with us I would not be upset or hurt, I would just alter my plans to suit the friend. I am sure your T is reasonable enough to feel the same way, just tell him. He will not think bad of you!

stopdog · Sep 17, 2013, 12:11 PM

The one I see knows I won't go when the dog is there, and although she has broken the part of the bargain she came up with, she has thus far let me know if the dog is going to be there and so I just cancel for that week. She usually tells me that I am the only client who does not like her dog. I respond I don't know her dog well enough to like or dislike it, but I don't want it at the appointment. She also tells me I am the only client who does not see her as wonderful so there we have it.

anilam · Sep 17, 2013, 12:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog

The one I see knows I won't go when the dog is there, and although she has broken the part of the bargain she came up with, she has thus far let me know if the dog is going to be there and so I just cancel for that week. She usually tells me that I am the only client who does not like her dog. I respond I don't know her dog well enough to like or dislike it, but I don't want it at the appointment. She also tells me I am the only client who does not see her as wonderful so there we have it.

SD, from your post I can tell that your T IS a truly wonderful T.

Now I see why you refer to her as that woman.

tinyrabbit · Sep 17, 2013, 03:21 PM

I think it would also upset me because it's a representation of the T's life outside the therapy room. In the therapy room, you create what happens together, but your T is bringing in an outside character.

Jdog123 · Sep 17, 2013, 03:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tinyrabbit

I think it would also upset me because it's a representation of the T's life outside the therapy room. In the therapy room, you create what happens together, but your T is bringing in an outside character.

That's a really good point... I hadn't put this together in my mind, though when my T has very occasionally talked about walking her dog or something, it does make me a little bit jealous for some reason. Maybe I feel like I'm competing w/ the dog for her attention? Though I don't think that I need to be taken for a walk.

Sep 17, 2013, 03:50 PM

If it was a service dog or a therapy dog and it had been clarified from the get-go that the dog would be present during sessions, then it would be okay.

But to just start bringing a pet to therapy would kinda be like bringing his spouse or kids to therapy.

Pets are family, and I wouldn't like it either.

GeorgiaGirl413 · Sep 17, 2013, 04:02 PM

My T brought her dog once. She apologized as soon as I got there and said she could take the dog home and be back in 10 minutes if I wanted to wait. In fact, she stated she was going to take the dog home before the appointment, but ran out of time and did not want to be late for our appointment. I let the dog stay, but it was distracting and I would not do it again.

growlithing · Sep 17, 2013, 04:06 PM

My younger sister was attacked by a Great Dane two feet in front of me when I was 8 years old. I love dogs and I really want one someday... but I am very wary of them, especially large dogs. If my T brought a dog to our sessions that wasn't a calm, fat, lazy corgi, I would be extremely uncomfortable and extremely distracted. Even if she did bring in a sweet little corgi, I'd be distracted. If she brought in a dog and gave him lots of attention, I'd probably get jealous plus it would be weird to see her interact with something outside of just therapy.

I think you should tell her how you feel about this. I doubt she wants to distract from you.

Sep 17, 2013, 05:52 PM

Since my t is out of the country i am babysitting her dog and she also has a dog with her in the country she is currently in. We do skype sessions and our dogs are both always "in attendance" over skype. The dogs get to talk to each other too because they are sort of brothers

It doesnt bother me to have my t with her dog. I spent a lot of time with her dog last year when i went to visit her so the dog and i grew to love each other. I like animals though an awful lot, so maybe that is why i dont have a problem with it. And of course, keeping my t's dog here at my house, that helps.

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