being damaged and connecting with T

Hmmm... I get what you are saying. I will say that once my T helped me process big life events, we specifically discussed various changes that I could make (a little bit at a time) to improve myself. We also consistently made goal lists (have do be lists). Also, T assigned various readings and assignments. So, I would say that much of my "work" was quite clearly discussed. I can honestly say that I did everything that we discussed to a t (pun intended) except I have not been good about exercise or as good as I should be about eating healthier.

As a result, I made huge strides in my life fairly quickly.

I haven't answered because I don't get how you fail at therapy. My T says all I have to do is keep showing up - he once told me that, if I came in every week and just lay on the floor saying nothing, he's not convinced it wouldn't help.

Maybe the answer is that, if someone thinks the client is failing, they need to change their view of what therapy is for.