[JaneC]

My T had been away for 3 weeks, then today..........

My appointment with T was awful. I got soo emotional, and shared stuff that had really hurt me in the last 3 weeks, and felt no support or empathy back. Then at the end he handed me a Relapse Prevention Plan that he says we did together.....like heck we did!.....so I was expressing my serious annoyance at this and at what he had written in it....and I felt like he was laughing at me, at my annoyance because he plastered a silly smile on his face. I caught him out, he was covering, and it PEEVED me OFF!!!!!!! In the end I told him I was leaving, and as I walked out I told him I was very angry. I let myself calm down for a few hours.....then sent him an email telling him how unsupported, invalidated and sad it had all made me feel. (I also wrote my own, correct, relapse prevention plan so he can stew on that too!) Oh cr @p! Not sure how that will go, as I usually dont email.

This is a mess, I feel a mess...... I can't stand it.........I dont usually email or get visibly angry......

My trust in him was only just building and this kind of screws that up...so there will need to be some serious work on our relationship before I can trust him again.

Has anyone else done this and it turned out ok? What have I done? What will he be thinking of me?? Arrggghhh....I have cptsd and this is all very very triggering....

[stopdog]

It is okay to get angry with them. They don't break easily. I got into frustrated rages at the therapist all the time because of her failure to explain what is going on. Then I started seeing other therapists/psych phds/neuropsychologist (bran scan guys) who would explain stuff I asked about and that helped me. The first therapist was not bothered by my anger.

[Rive.]

You haven't done anything wrong. You let him know how you felt and how what he did (or how he did it) did not work for you and felt invalidating. What was even better is that you waited until you were calm and using effective communication, clearly and maturely expressed yourself to him. This is good work!

Don't beat yourself up about it. There are bound to be snags in the therapy relationship. Any T worth his salt would use this turning point to readjust and make this a turning point in terms of effectiveness of the therapeutic relationship between the two of you.

Its ok to get angry with t! I get mad at mine all the time... Its totally normal.

[winter4me]

time for a cup of coffee and a mg. of clonazepam, must be morning again.
then the crossword, the jumble, and i'll be back to pc....
hey Jane C, he sounds too much like a man thinking he can "fix" the "hysterical" woman----hate stupid smiles and putting the "we" in "me"...not at all sure what i'm saying....better get my meds. hey, goodmorning all and best to everyone,
from the bottom of my morning

[WikidPissah]

There is nothing at all wrong with sending an angry email. In fact, it is good to express your anger in such a calm manner. I hope he responds appropriately.

[HealingTimes]

This may feel awful at the moment, but it could lead to a breakthrough of sorts.
I was always really careful to avoid showing emotion, especially anger. It scared me.
But when my T made me mad once, i called her and gave her what for. I was cursing, cursing, disrespecting and generally being nasty, to her.
It took a lot of courage to go back again to the next session but i am glad i did.
Far from being hurt or angry with me, my T was overjoyed that i felt able to express those emotions after so long.

You did nothing wrong.

[JaneC]

Oh Wiki...he has yet to respond to my email...probably I will have to wait til next week when I see him, if I see him. I am already feeling like cancelling, and coming up with excuses in my head. Really plausible excuses too.........

I am scared about how he will respond....obviously he will want to talk about it...ugh! Haha

[tinyrabbit]

You feel angry. It's coming out in therapy. This is GOOD AND NORMAL!