Trouble taking first step...

I'm relatively new to pc and I'm not sure if this is the best place for this thread, but considering many of you in this forum are in therapy at present, maybe you could help...

Basically, I am really struggling with anxiety lately, way worse than usual, and the ocd-ish symptoms that I've been having for years are getting so much worse. I'm at a point where I am doubting most of what I do, even if I know I did it. The other night I was so panicked/overwhelmed by everything that I had to get done I could not stop shivering and checking things. My tapping/counting/bad thoughts that won't go away things have gotten worse as well. Test anxiety has reached a point where I get physically ill before exams. If I get a B on an exam I am sick over it for days. It's ridiculous. I am also completely socially inept, and have had many instances over the years of what are, according to my family, anxiety attacks.

I know that I could probably benefit from some form of help, and I tried to call my university's counseling center, but I froze and hung up the phone as soon as I heard a voice on the other end. Has anyone else had problems taking the first step, and what did you do to overcome it? I feel like getting help is letting my parents down, or like it would be dissing people who have "real" problems, whatever that means. Or maybe that I should just get over it. I don't want to get a diagnosis, and I don't ever, ever want anyone to find out about anything. It's like I know something's wrong, but I've spent so long downplaying it/trying (usually unsuccessfully) to hide it, and I can't see myself ever being brave enough to open up to a stranger about it. I would probably just sit there terrified with a therapist staring at me. Everything just seems so, so scary, and I feel like if I don't do something soon, the rest of my life will suck and I'm not even twenty yet.

Welcome!!!

That first step can be scary. Can you email the counseling office instead of calling?
Keep trying!! Therapy can be a big relief.

Keep posting too!

Oh wow that last paragraph sounds like me. I never had the courage to ask for help in university. I never got past loading the web page to look up their number. I wasted so many years since then. I was able to tell mr doctor this year and things have gotten much better.

All you need to say is "I need talk to someone about my anxiety" and then answer their questions to get an appointment. If you show up and say nothing to the therapist you still accomplished something.

Like you, I didn't feel my problems were real and avoided dealing with them. I actually talked about this with my therapist today. Your problems are very real. The sooner you deal with them the better. Please give them a call and let them help.

Do you think you might have an easier time speaking with a doctor? Perhaps you could speak with one of the physicians at the school's health center, and you may be able to get a small prescription for anti-anxiety meds that could help stabilize you a bit and enable you to take the next step of seeking counseling. Maybe write out a list of your current symptoms, rate their severity on a scale of 1-10, and bring that with you to the doctor so you don't have to wing it.

That might seem just as difficult as talking to the counseling center, I don't know. But I know that, when you're riding really high anxiety, it's hard to function enough to do anything, let alone take a big step like going into therapy. And a short-term med might take enough edge off to enable you to do what's next.

I'm sorry you're having a hard time. I'll be thinking of you.