Ever suspected your T is lying to you?

Trust issues? Insecurity? History of not feeling people where supportive of you? This is not really about the T lying or not lying. This is about your perhaps these kinds of questions?

Edited to add: just saw your post where you answered your own question.

Oh i see, thanks for clarifying. Yes, i have huge trust issues, i absolutley accept that may have something to do with it.
But i still feel like she was lying to me.

Honestly, I think she was just trying to appease you and reinforce to you that she does support you.

But just because i have trust issues it doesn't mean that she wasn't lying to me.#

What's the saying? 'Just because you are paranoid, it doesn't mean that they aren't out to get you'.

I love it when they lie to me. The one time I had a therapist tell me the "truth" about what she thinks of me I wanted to choke her. So I yelled at her and stormed out of her office and never came back. I denied what she thought about me for a few years, then eventually realized she was right. At which point I accepted her criticism I completely forgot what she said. All I know is that whatever it was, I agree with it and she was right. She just had bad timing, be careful what you wish for.

I don't think i am wishing that my T feels sympathy for this person, just that she'd be honest with me about what she DOES feel.
Even knowing that i would be angry and would consider termination immediately if T does feel sympathy, T should still be honest if that is how she feels.

My therapist has lied to me, and it has been bothering me, either consciously or unconsciously, for two months. Even though she admitted lot telling me the truth.

this is my thread on this forum that explains the situation, and I'll be glad for feedback.

I am seeing my T on Friday, so i will have a chance to discuss this with her then. I am not sure what i want from her though.
If she admits that she has sympathy for this person, i will be angry and feel as though my feelings have been invalidated.
Will i believe her if she says that she doesn't feel sympathy, and was telling the truth? I don't really know.

What you may need to work on is an understanding that a person can sympathize with another person/understand (not approve; not the same thing) their motivations and still not be condoning what they have done. Whether or not your T sympathizes at all with this person truly has no bearing on how much she supports and can help you. You are seeing this in black and white when it is really somewhere in between.

Thank you, Sierra.
I will be working on this with my T soon, i am sure

What Sierra said... She (anyone) can *both* support you, and validate your feelings and your experience, *and* feel sympathy (or at least understanding) for the other person. She can support you *and* encourage flexibility. The one doesn't negate the other.

If my therapist told me he was 'loyal' to me, I think I would cringe. For one thing, it would feel disingenuous, because this isn't about he and I against the world; I'd like him at my side, but not stuck to it with super glue. It may 'validate' some feelings in me, but I think it would also discourage my adult self, and encourage an us vs them dynamic; I don't want that with him; I'd feel like I was being treated like a child.

I'm pretty sure my T hasn't been honest with me about a few things. Probably not often and mostly things that are unimportant or things that she's worried might upset me. I'm also sure she omits things as well.
I told her in recent weeks that I want to hear the truth. Honestly, I think she probably will end up saying things that upset me. However, I want to be and feel like an adult and not the little attached/dependent child I feel like. I don't like the attachment. Attachment hurts. I'm 38 and have avoided being attached my whole life. I know it's suppose to be healthy but it doesn't feel that way to me.
I guess I think if she's honest with me I'll become less attached!!! That's exactly what I want!!!!!

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I first went to my t when I found out my husband was having an affair. Obviously I felt greatly wronged. I wouldn't say she sympathized with him but she also didn't make him out to be the bad guy. She made me look at my part if the relationship that contributed to what he did. Of course if she just told me how awful he was and poor me it would of felt comforting on some level but I don't know that it would have helped me grow.

i really wish that i could say its OK for my T to feel sympathy for this person. I understand that most people would. They have been through some major stuff in their life, but i just cant.
it is definitely something i will be exploring with my T.

So, i spoke to my T about this in yesterdays session.
It turns out that she thinks that I Have sympathy for this person and am projecting it onto my T.
Really not sure how i feel about that.

I think your T is trying to redirect the blame off of herself. If she has sympathy for someone else then why not keep it under wraps and be there for YOU when you need her support?

Therapists are generally much more skilled, and in a better position, to win the psychobabble game.

let's say for the moment that it's true. That you have some sympathy for this person. And you are projecting it on to her. So what? You are still in a place where you don't see it, and it's still interfering with your therapy.

Did she say this with compassion? or defensiveness?

She said it with total compassion, not in an accusatory way at all.

I've never felt lied too. Why would a T feel the need to lie? A therapist could say there's reasons why such & such did that or was like that. That doesn't mean they have taken sides and need to lie. That would mean they are unable to tolerate a clients discomfort if they didn't somehow take a side.
Therapy is about uncovering not burying a clients truth.

I don't think my T has ever lied to me and I don't think I've ever put her in a position where she felt she had to lie to me. I don't ask her really personal questions, so she has no need to avoid/lie about that.

I've never demanded to know what she thought about people in my life - well, actually I made sure she knew my family was full of good people even if I rant about them, but I never wanted her to "take sides". And same with all my other stuff. I just want to be honest in the therapy room and I expect (and do receive) the same from her.

I can understand this. I have been with my t for like 6 years. His mother passed when when he was six. I told him at the beginning of our working together that I needed him to see that my situation was worse than his, that I would have been better off an orphan, which is how I often felt as a child. I admitted how heartless this sounded. Over the years, t has been appalled or said something negative about my family, and I would almost want to defend them. But now that I am finally building an independent life and sensibility, I regret the lost years, but I can also resent them. I'm not so mired in them, attached to them.

I'm sorry. I'm glad you was kind about it. I'm sorry I assumed otherwise.

No need to apologise, it's all good It can be hard to tell.