[Victoria'smom]

I have to find 4 therapists and 3 pdocs that are willing to work well together and have a good rapport with one of us (of course different one for each), and one all three of us can work with. How much money or T's did you go through to find one that you work well with? I'm trying to plan now but it doesn't seem to be working well.

[HealingTimes]

I've never had that situation before, so cant really advise.
I just wanted to wish you luck in finding it

[A Red Panda]

MM: I'd focus on finding 1 pdoc and 1 therapist. You can start out with everyone there for now, and then get recommendations from them or try to look around once you're moved. It would probably feel a bit less overwhelming if you look for the joint-therapist first, and the one pdoc would hopefully be able to recommend colleagues.

((And why do you need 3 separate pdocs? I get why you would want all the different therapists, but why the different pdocs too?))

This might be a place to start...you can enter your zip code (or the zip code where you will be moving to) and find therapists in that area:

http://www.psychologytoday.com/

I agree with the idea of finding one T (probably the one who will be yours?) and one pdoc first. In my experience, my T was able to recommend a pdoc for me. And when I was moving on to a new T, my soon to be ex-T recommended one of the two Ts I see now. My pdoc recommended my other current T. I have found that when recommending other Ts or pdocs, my drs. have used the recommendations of clients...not only their own personal contacts.

In order to cut down on cost, I would see how many drs are open to have some kind of initial conversation over the phone and/or a free first session. The phone call is a good option for you to weed out drs. easily...meeting with a few for a first session will then be easier. Make sure you write down any questions you have ahead of time so you can write down their answers for easy comparison later, as well as any notes regarding personality, etc., that will help you make your decision. (That might seem really obvious, but I know I have thought I would remember small details and then have been overwhelmed with too many details later!)

Good luck to you...I hope your search goes well!

[Victoria'smom]

We're not actually moving until next September.

A Red Panda: We've had horrible experience with having the same pdoc. It lead to confusing/mis- Dx.'s, to much med changes and 2 against 1 feeling. It just became a mess because we weren't treated individually but as one. It also gave both of us the "it's me against them" feeling which lead to a lot of lying and pdoc suggesting IP for me a lot. Now my current pdoc would be able to handle us both very well as individuals and as a couple. He has put us both in 'our place' regarding the others mental health. My Husband's pdoc can't deal with two strong personalities. So I try to stay calm and quiet unless directly asked a question. Of course I want a pediatric psychiatrist for our son. Given recent events though maybe one is a good idea.

My biggest concern is that we get there and both of us become to much of a mess to get help. I'm honestly thinking of starting at IOP upon arriving. I don't even know if that could be an option. I'd rather think I'm over reacting to how much stress and time it'll take for us to settle. Our last move took us almost 2 yrs. to even accept that maybe we need to think about seeing a pdoc and almost 2 months to get in after intake.

Finding one T and working our way out sounds like a good idea.

Lost_key other then the regular questions what would you ask?

[A Red Panda]

Ahhhh yeah, I forgot that you and your H talk to each other's pdocs. I can see how that would get complicated - my brain wasn't working too much this morning! Makes sense!

[BlessedRhiannon]

You could ask your current T and pdoc if they could recommend anyone in the area you are moving to. I think I'd start with trying to find a T and see if your current pdoc would be willing to work with you via a phone consultation for a bit if necessary.

Definitely give the search feature on Psychology Today a shot. You know what you want in a T based on your current experiences, so you can weed out the results based on that. When I moved and decided to find a T, I first went with just the closest one that kinda sounded like what I wanted...it was a poor choice. So, then I took some time and really researched - I used the search on Psychology Today, opened each T's profile in a separate tab, then read then and closed the tabs of the ones that I didn't think would fit. I ended up with only one tab open, so I sent that T an email and asked for a free consultation. It was a great match!

[Victoria'smom]

Psychology today only has private pay but the T's there must hate the photo's that are put up of them it reminded me of yearbook pictures.

[ThisWayOut]

i think it's good to start early in your search, but I would caution against starting too early. Sometimes T's and PDoc's change agencies over time... I would maybe look for a general picture of how many are out there at this point, and wait for the real search to begin about 6-8 months before moving (I know moving can be stressful in and of itself, forget trying to then find support in the new area).
I only had about 1 month before I moved, and it took me 2 months after that to finally settle with someone. While I had very specific criteria for who I wanted to see (and what I would tolerate for recommendations in treatment), I ended up seeing a therapist that I never expected to actually agree to see (because he was a male T). I found in my search that one particular website popped up time and time again. I dismissed it the first few times because I really hate internet ads, but when I was still without a therapist and about to move in a week, I finally clicked the ad when it popped up for the millionth time (on many different websites mind you). It turned out that the people at that office were very genuine, caring, and helpful. Even when we determined I was not going to see someone at that office, the clinicians called me back several times with other referrals and ideas of where to look. When none of that panned out a month after arriving (they had still been in constant contact with me for the past 6 weeks), I agreed to see the male intern at their office. It worked out well, and it was instrumental in me finding my current T. They also all worked really hard to help me find other resources and get connected in this new state. While I still can't afford anyone in their office (except their new intern, but we agreed that I needed a more stable, experienced, and specialized therapist), I would go back there if things changed or if this current T ended up not working out.

I don't think I would have found anyone worth seeing down here if I hadn't clicked on that ad. I don't always try to put meaning to things (and it may just be amazing advertisement placement on their part), but I def think the universe was trying to tell me something when their ad popped up on every search site I visited.

The short moral to that story: look early, but at least be open to contacting someone that may not necessarily be your first choice. If nothing else, you may end up finding what you need through them.

I wish mental health help didn't have such a crazy waiting list... I know a few therapists here are not scheduling for several months out, and that's even at the crisis centers (go figure, you're in crisis, but should be able to wait a few months to get help)... Good luck with everything. And kudos for starting early enough before it gets to panic level.