[coleychi]

This probably isn't relevant to my treatment... or maybe it is. I feel like it's mostly just my own curiosity.

Over the span of 5 years, I've been hospitalized 3 times (at 2 hospitals) and been to 2 different treatment centers. And at these places at those times, I never saw another Asian American. Granted, I'm third-generation and completely white-washed... my family just held onto the values of Asian culture. Are there any other Asian Americans on this forum? Has anyone ever seen another Asian American in treatment?

I wonder why that is. I kind of feel alone and ashamed that all other people from my background seem to be able to cope/be normal with emotions. Granted, I know that culturally, Chinese people are all about privacy and brushing all the unsavory things under the rug... but I feel so alone. I feel like all my Asian friends, and I guess Asians in general, are so much more adjusted than I am and I don't know what I did wrong.

[jesusplay]

YOu're a minority in the united states.

Thats why, chill lax.

74% white

16-18% hispanic/latin

14% black/african american.

[coleychi]

Originally Posted by jesusplay

YOu're a minority in the united states.

Thats why, chill lax.

74% white

16-18% hispanic/latin

14% black/african american.

Haha, now that you put it that way, it makes sense. My world view is kind of skewed because my high school was about 20% Asian (but it was a private school) and my college is 17%. Thanks for helping me put this in perspective

[Melody_Bells]

Hi Coleychi, you should be proud that you're a pioneer in taking away the shame from Asian people, and being a role model in taking care of one's mental health.

The same way people go to the hospital for physical reasons, you are showing them how it should be normal to go in for taking care of mental health. If it is true that Asian people are private and brushing these issues under the rug, then it's wonderful that you are able to stand up for your own well being and show them the importance of mental health!

All people are just people, all need support sometimes.

I'm sure Asian people are not more well adjusted, probably just more embarrassed about mental health.

Good for you, hope you keep up the great work!

[stopdog]

I don't think it has to do with numbers.
I represent people in psych wards in my state. Private hospitals and public. The majority are minorities in my area with some changes in make up depending on the socio-economic make up of where the hospital is located. I have not represented many asians in mental health areas. I don't have a concrete reason for it.

[tealBumblebee]

Well, i'm not Asian, so sorry if my word doesn't hold much stock. But, my stepmother is Asian (making my bro and sis half Asian) so this is just from observation. They aren't "Asian American" yet (still live overseas) but... from what i've noticed - Asian's have just as many "life struggles" as any other culture. How they cope may be a bit more private but I don't necessarily think thats a good thing all the time either. I was raised in an African American culture where mental illness is considered either "normal behavior" or a "stigma" so... I get the feeling of being isolated. Overall though, our family looks like the United Nations (i'm mixed race, we also have AA, Asian, White American, Kenyan, Italian, Hispanic - all in the immediate family), and i've seen each and every one of us struggle in our own way.

[unlockingsanity]

This is a blog about another Asian and her mental health.

Behind the Facade

[blur]

i know a young asian woman who has had some mental health issues and she is trying to speak out in the asian community about her struggles. she says it is a stigma in the asian community to admit to having mental health issues and to receive help for them. i grew up around a lot of asians and they seem to have just as many struggles as anyone else from what i've seen. i think they just deal with them privately. there is a fair amount of conversation around that Tiger Mom book. if you google that then i think you'll find some others speaking of their experiences. i am sorry you are feeling so alone in this. you are not the only one. you are just brave enough to admit it.

[coleychi]

Wow! Thanks for all your feedback. I really appreciate what you guys have posted.

Melody_Bells: The privacy of Asian culture is definitely way old fashioned. To be fair, I don't go around advertising my mental health issues... I hardly even talk about it with anyone besides my treatment team and my parents (I censor myself when I talk to my siblings). So I can't take too much credit for being a pioneer in raising awareness... I'm basically just accepting that I have a problem and getting outside help for it.

tealbumblebee: yeah, that was my general feeling. I thought that it might relate back to the private nature of Asians... I feel like Asian people only want to talk about their accomplishments instead of reality. I definitely do feel isolated The majority of my friends are Asian American (I don't know why, I guess I just gravitate towards them?) but they don't have (or don't talk about) any significant struggles/problems.

unlockingsanity: thanks so much for referring me to that blog. I'm definitely going to book mark it! It's refreshing to know an Asian is blogging about her struggles w/ mental health.

blur: That's really good to hear. Half of me wants to speak out about it but I'm afraid of the stigma/don't want to be publically associated with the disease. My parents are super supportive and understanding but they still make up excuses to their friends about me (ie: where was I this summer? why aren't I graduating on time?)

[Favorite Jeans]

So, not that this is necessarily a representative sample, but all 3 East Asian young adults I know who have severe mental illness (2 Chinese, 1 Korean in all cases parents were born abroad and immigrated in adulthood) have been rejected to a pretty severe extent by their parents. Of course it's hard to know whether the rejection caused the mental illness or vice versa but all have spoken to me about how ashamed their parents are of them. I imagine that if that shame is representative of a broader cultural value it probably keeps people from getting the help they need. I really don't want to get carrried making generalizations based on this tiny number. It's just what came to mind when I read your question.

I'm glad your parents are supportive of you. Also, I imagine it must be hard to always be the only Asian American in your treatment program/hospital. Thanks for posting this thread.

[PeeJay]

Originally Posted by coleychi

This probably isn't relevant to my treatment... or maybe it is. I feel like it's mostly just my own curiosity.

Over the span of 5 years, I've been hospitalized 3 times (at 2 hospitals) and been to 2 different treatment centers. And at these places at those times, I never saw another Asian American. Granted, I'm third-generation and completely white-washed... my family just held onto the values of Asian culture. Are there any other Asian Americans on this forum? Has anyone ever seen another Asian American in treatment?

I wonder why that is. I kind of feel alone and ashamed that all other people from my background seem to be able to cope/be normal with emotions. Granted, I know that culturally, Chinese people are all about privacy and brushing all the unsavory things under the rug... but I feel so alone. I feel like all my Asian friends, and I guess Asians in general, are so much more adjusted than I am and I don't know what I did wrong.

This is going to sound more ignorant than I mean it too, but: I'm white and I have a lot of Asian friends.

And my Asian friends don't come from families any less dysfunctional, but I do sense there is more sweeping under the rug.

My Canadian-born, of Chinese-descent, friend has wanted to go to therapy for a long time but was always conditioned to not seek that type of help. I wonder if there is something to fewer Asians getting the help that they need?

Another friend of mine, one of my closest, is a California girl whose parents are Vietnamese immigrants. She NEEDS therapy, but she'd never go because her parents wouldn't approve. She's in her mid-30s, but they have that much say over her life. I think white Americans are different that way.

Ok I'm shutting up now before I go painting stereotypes all over everyone!

[tealBumblebee]

tealbumblebee: yeah, that was my general feeling. I thought that it might relate back to the private nature of Asians... I feel like Asian people only want to talk about their accomplishments instead of reality. I definitely do feel isolated The majority of my friends are Asian American (I don't know why, I guess I just gravitate towards them?) but they don't have (or don't talk about) any significant struggles/problems.

Yep, I generally agree as well. In regards to the "lot" of friends being Asian American - i think its an American thing, nothing personal. Two of the friends from our church overseas came to the US when they graduated and I asked one what she felt the biggest difference between here and there was. She stated that she too did not know why, being on a military base everyone hangs out with everyone, but she noticed that after moving there she "naturally gravitated" to Asians as well. *shrug* Its the force! lol.

[yoyoism]

Originally Posted by PeeJay

Ok I'm shutting up now before I go painting stereotypes all over everyone!

You don't sound ignorant at all, you're merely stating your experiences.

I agree that Asians tend to sweep a lot of the bad stuff under the rug to save face. Not that I would be particularly pleased if my parents started sharing my issues with family and friends (I'm a Canadian born Asian), but it's just a sort of awkward and much avoided topic in general.

For example, a few months ago, my dad made a very hurtful comment about the type of people who commit suicide - I guess he completely forgot that I tried to do just that a little over 2 years ago. He did not apologize and my mom was angry at me for crying and being upset over his comment. She also went through depression and she says that she understood his comment was thoughtless, but it was just the way it was and I should just ignore it.

Anyways, that's my two cents.

[coleychi]

favoritejeans: thanks for sharing that bit about your three friends. i know i'm super lucky that my parents are supportive (that's probably the "white" part in us or the affluence... they sent me to my first psychiatrist when i was in 3rd grade because they noticed that i wasn't "normal" and kind of just threw money at the issue--albeit, lovingly-- that they didn't know how to deal with). i can't imagine how things would be if i didn't have my parents support. i kind of get mixed messages from them because they conceal my issues with other people (not that i'd want my demons to be broadcasted to their friends) but i sense that they're a little ashamed of me.

peejay: i don't think you sound ignorant at all. when i started this thread, i didn't mean to look for (or in some sense, make) overarching generalizations about asian culture. i appreciate you sharing your observations. it definitely puts my own experiences into perspective (i feel like i should really feel grateful for my parents). i remember my dad had SO much anxiety about having to tell his parents, who are quasi-socialite and all about appearances, that i was going to treatment. he only told them to explain why i wasn't going to be in touch with them for 2 months or whatever and he sugarcoated everything as much as possible (ie: no mention of the suicide attempt, and claiming i was going to a "self esteem enrichment program")

tealbumblebee: haha "it's the force!" it's hard for me though because i'm 3rd generation so i don't speak chinese or know that much about chinese culture... so while i gravitate towards asians, i feel left out. and i feel awkward around caucasian people because from the people i've met, our values have been kind of different. it's hard. i feel like i'm culturally in this awkward middle ground.

yoyoism: yay! another asian i definitely know the term/concept of saving face quite well from within my own family and how they present information to others or do some serious pr-esque spinning to explain away anomalies in my life. i've actually had similar experiences with my dad. he'll "joke" about my mental illness or criticize me for being too sensitive. i'm in the process or learning how to set boundaries and tell him that his comments are not ok... which is intimidating because i've been taught to respect and obey my parents.

thanks so much for all your feedback i really appreciate all your comments on your experiences and comments. it definitely helps to put things in perspective and makes me feel a little less alone. i really really appreciate it