[growlycat]

I'm going through kind of a strange patch lately in therapy. I see two T's I am probably too attached to, one psychodynamic one CBT.

At first I felt like CBT was a great addition to my treatment--a fresh perspective and offered very specific ways on HOW to "do the work". CBT T was very doting early on, but as he gets busier/travels more I feel like he doesn't remember as much about me (he's never been great with the details.)
Sessions have been more vague and fuzzy. What am I supposed to be doing exactly??

My main therapy was even improved from being a little stagnant to having new material to discuss.

But now I feel rudderless again, but with 2 t's instead of one. I feel like no one can help me. I'm worried that I have come as far as I'm going to go. However, I feel like I still badly need therapy and I still need help.

Anyone ever experience feeling this lost and stuck? Where does one go from here?

[purplemystery]

I feel very similarly right now, actually. I've been with the same T for 3+ years, and one of the main reasons I went was because I have trust issues. I still have a really hard time trusting my T, though I know it is nothing to do with her and I am also very attached to her. Today she asked me something that really hurt: whether if we were just meeting for the first time, if anything would be different (meaning she thinks I still act the same around her). I'm so sorry you're feeling lost and stuck. You're clearly trying hard, seeing 2 Ts. I wish I had good answers. I just think change is really hard and can be a slow process. But maybe you need to do something differently with your Ts? I am currently trying to figure out whether there is something I can do differently with mine. I think when you see the same person for so long you get stuck into a routine, but change within the session might do some good? Maybe you can find some new way to restructure your sessions, some new activity, or something different to talk about. If that's no good advice, I hope I at least made you feel less alone! I'm there too!

[growlycat]

Thank you so much Purplemystery! You summed this up beautifully...Main T is repetitive, I am repetitive and on it goes.

Wondering what I can do to break up the routine? Main T is by phone so it makes it hard . Sometimes I ask him about his passion for books and if he is reading anything that he would recommend. It takes the pressure off me, he clearly likes this subject, and I feel like I'm being read to like a kid.

Beyond that, not sure what else to do to break the monotony. If I still saw him in person more often I'd ask if we could go for a walk (which we have done) or to play a card game (we have never done that).

CBT T is trickier--all my ruptures have been minor and civil but I feel differently today. Everything he said made me feel either badly about myself, made me wonder if I could ever get better and even made me question if this guy even gives a *****.

Thanks for the support!! 21 views and no replies was really feeling awful to me, I'm grateful for the broken silence!

[Bill3]

Is there something specific that you are consistently working on with main T? How about with CBT T?

[growlycat]

Thanks, Bill3!!

With main T, it is usually about my relationships past and present with family, friends, coworkers. My strong emotions don't always indicate "reality" so he teaches me to look for "evidence of reality" --if I feel like someone hates me, look at all the clues objectively and make note if my emotional responses line up (they often don't, he calls these my "broken gauges") He is all about mindfulness and doind something every day no matter how small to improve my circumstances.

CBT T focuses much on my health management, extreme anxieties and driving phobia.

They are both caring people. I'm trying to remind myself I'll probably get a reassuring call in the next few days which will leave me with warm fuzzies and not this desperately hopeless feeling.

Thank you Bill3!

[lrt1978]

The vague and fuzzy feeling have you told your T you feel like that in session, as I spent 2 years in therapy getting that feeling and didn't mention it, I now see a different T and I told her about the fuzzy and vague feeling and we are now working on that as for me that feeling was me detaching from my emotions and surroundings.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Bill3]

There is a wide field of work with main T. What makes it feel monotonous?

[purplemystery]

Glad I could be of some help! That does sound tricky since you talk to your main T on the phone. Hmmm. I mentioned changing the routine because I know that my mind is very stubborn against change. My T thinks I will just naturally look at her more, for example, as I come to trust her more, but I don't think that's the case. I know with me, I need to push myself to do things I'm not comfortable doing. The pushing comes first, the trust comes second. I think I need to make some sort of serious change, and ask her to help me. I might ask her to ask me to look at her. I need the permission. Or maybe I'll ask her not to look at me for awhile so that I can look around the room for once and get used to doing that. Is there anything that you feel that you're holding back? Maybe you can try a game-type thing over the phone designed to help... I feel very frustrated with the process too, and the worst part is that it's come to the level where my T has lost some of her patience. So I know how you feel about trying to do your best, but it's just not good enough. And I also know how hard it must be for your CBT T to not believe in you. Was there something specific that happened that made you feel the way you did?

[feralkittymom]

Originally Posted by growlycat

Thanks, Bill3!!

With main T, it is usually about my relationships past and present with family, friends, coworkers. My strong emotions don't always indicate "reality" so he teaches me to look for "evidence of reality" --if I feel like someone hates me, look at all the clues objectively and make note if my emotional responses line up (they often don't, he calls these my "broken gauges") He is all about mindfulness and doind something every day no matter how small to improve my circumstances.

CBT T focuses much on my health management, extreme anxieties and driving phobia.

They are both caring people. I'm trying to remind myself I'll probably get a reassuring call in the next few days which will leave me with warm fuzzies and not this desperately hopeless feeling.

Thank you Bill3!

Somehow both Ts sound sort of CBT to me. What am I missing? Could you share a little more about the work you've done in the past with your phone T?