[GeorgiaGirl413]

There are so many stories on here about inappropriate actions on the part of T's that I'm beginning to wonder if folks aren't just making them up to see what the response will be. Are there really that many therapists out there who are willing to enter into totally inappropriate relationships with their clients? If there are then that is very, very scary.

[stopdog]

I believe they are for real. Therapists are mere humans doing a job. Why would they be any better than the rest of the population?

[GeorgiaGirl413]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I believe they are for real. Therapists are mere humans doing a job. Why would they be any better than the rest of the population?

I'm don't think that I was saying that they should be. But there are standards for every profession, especially those that are licensed and certain rules that have to be followed. And especially in the therapeutic relationship, where the client is so vulnerable, T's have to be very careful. Would it be ok for a teacher to be dating/having sex with his teenage student, because, well he's human and why should he be any better at doing his job than the rest of the population? These are the kinds of things that I am talking about. Not things like my T and I had a misunderstanding about something, or my T wasn't as supportive as I wanted them to be.

[sweepy62]

Its true therapists are human, but you would think, that they would uphold their part of the ethics. I am happy I have a very good therapist. I have heard many stories on pc, There are so many of us here from all corners , I have many friends in different states who are in therapy but none have complained about their t of any innappropriate behaviors.

[mandazzle]

I believe them. There are lots of people in the world in every profession that are just not good at their job. Therapists are no exception.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by GeorgiaGirl413

I'm don't think that I was saying that they should be. But there are standards for every profession, especially those that are licensed and certain rules that have to be followed. And especially in the therapeutic relationship, where the client is so vulnerable, T's have to be very careful. Would it be ok for a teacher to be dating/having sex with his teenage student, because, well he's human and why should he be any better at doing his job than the rest of the population? These are the kinds of things that I am talking about. Not things like my T and I had a misunderstanding about something, or my T wasn't as supportive as I wanted them to be.

I understood what you meant. There are all sorts of professions with ethical standards. There are always professionals who do not follow those standards. I do not believe therapists are any more likely to follow their own profession's standards than any other professional is. I am not saying it is a good idea for them to run roughshod over their standards, just that I do not find it unbelievable that a good many therapists do so.

.
Mine was 100% real and now I am spending therapy sessions trying to deal with it.

If you read about therapists/psychiatrists, many enter the field with "issues" hoping to solve or understand their problems.

MANY Ts today are not required to have therapy during school. If you have not dealt with your demons, you are going to screw other people up. In the old days, Ts had to have therapy.... not a requirement of every school anymore.

PS: I work in a restaurant.... we have Food inspections from the Health Department.... some employees are still disgusting. Period. Even with an "A" rating, there are problems....

[GeorgiaGirl413]

Originally Posted by Stringcheese

.
Mine was 100% real and now I am spending therapy sessions trying to deal with it.

If you read about therapists/psychiatrists, many enter the field with "issues" hoping to solve or understand their problems.

MANY Ts today are not required to have therapy during school. If you have not dealt with your demons, you are going to screw other people up. In the old days, Ts had to have therapy.... not a requirement of every school anymore.

PS: I work in a restaurant.... we have Food inspections from the Health Department.... some employees are still disgusting. Period. Even with an "A" rating, there are problems....

I know. It's just so scary to me. How do we protect ourselves in this kind of environment? I guess I have always been blessed to have T's that have never tried to take advantage of me. So sad to see how many do take advantage of their clients.

[gayleggg]

I've seen many and am fortunate they all had high standards. I was lucky.

[Asiablue]

There is just a lot of S H I T therapists out there.

[GeorgiaGirl413]

Originally Posted by Asiablue

There is just a lot of S H I T therapists out there.

It seems that there are indeed.

[scorpiosis37]

Originally Posted by GeorgiaGirl413

T's have to be very careful. Would it be ok for a teacher to be dating/having sex with his teenage student, because, well he's human and why should he be any better at doing his job than the rest of the population? These are the kinds of things that I am talking about.

And, despite it being unethical and against University policy, do you know how many professors DO have affairs with their students? At my University, my department has a faculty of 14. Three of them have had affairs with students, which I have literally observed with my own eyes and/or heard it from the mouth of the person(s) involved. There are also rumors of one more. It may be shocking, but it's common. I think it's the same with therapists.

[elliemay]

There are two sides to every story. We only get one here.

BUT this is as it should be, we are here to support and share in each other's journey.

Facts of the matter aside, what is happening *here* on this page is real to the person.

That's where, I think, our concern is. What is real to that person at that time.

[elliemay]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I believe they are for real. Therapists are mere humans doing a job. Why would they be any better than the rest of the population?

I guess I do not share your dim view of humanity. I think most people want to and try their best to do a good job.

Even the crappiest of therapist doesn't set out to say "Okay, how can I screw this person over."

A very very very slight minority might, but in general? No.

Not every therapy, or therapeutic approach is right for each person. Not every therapist, despite their intent, is actually good at recognizing what is right for that person.

THAT'S where the problem lies.

So.... if you think something is wrong, it likely is, at least for you.

[Asiablue]

Therapists are being paid to know better tho Elliemay. Or at least to handle things absolutely with the client at the centre of all decisions. Crap surgeons don't go into theatre with the intent of damaging a patient but if they do then they face severe consequences and we do not accept negligence from these Dr's and the same should apply to therapists.

Bad therapists that is; unethical therapists, under-educated therapists, immoral therapists, lazy therapists, and just wholly mentally unfit therapists are practicing every day in an industry that is fairly unregulated- especially in the U.K and really counselling is in its infancy in terms of mental health care so really we are all guinea-pigs so there is going to be casualties unfortunately.
The problem is as always when dealing with vulnerable people, that the power deferential and the nature of the confidentiality needed, allows therapists to operate for a long time without ever being reported or discovered to be negligent. Many therapists will close ranks on a client who complains. Every therapist knows of a crap colleague that they wouldn't refer their dog to let alone another client yet won't go as far as reporting them.
The whole industry needs a shake up and an environment of transparency and regulation. Therapist's often trespass into areas of psychology they have no right being in ie trauma, many profess to deal with trauma cos it's a fashionable buzzword right now that gets them work, but most wouldn't recognise trauma if it came up and slapped them. You see it on this board all the time, clients being flooded by the original trauma because their therapist isn't managing/titrating how the client processes it all. Trauma is a very specialised field not to be F-u-c-k-e-d with by toy therapists playing dress up.

It's tantamount to someone reading a physiology book about how the heart works and then professing they can do heart surgery. A lot of therapists can claim to help you with trauma yet have only really went on a three day course and maybe read a couple of books. Is that really who you want tinkering with your heart and soul?

[Perna]

Don't forget this is a "specialized" site and we are not a general population. We are going to have more people concerned with certain issues than the general population. I have to remember that with the SSI and SSDI and insurance sections, etc.

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by elliemay

I guess I do not share your dim view of humanity. I think most people want to and try their best to do a good job.

Even the crappiest of therapist doesn't set out to say "Okay, how can I screw this person over."

A very very very slight minority might, but in general? No.

Not every therapy, or therapeutic approach is right for each person. Not every therapist, despite their intent, is actually good at recognizing what is right for that person.

THAT'S where the problem lies.

So.... if you think something is wrong, it likely is, at least for you.

Actually I don't think my statement was a dim view of humanity. And I agree that bad therapists or other professionals often don't set out to be bad or even think they are bad even when they completely flout all external ethical rules.
I disagree with you about where THE problem lies, but otherwise I don't think we are that far apart.

This is why a lot of people don't come forward with their bad therapy experiences. There are a lot of bad therapists out there. I thought I had one of the good ones, but it turned out very badly.

[nicoleflynn]

Hopefully, eventually I will give my t the letter I wrote years ago.

[GeorgiaGirl413]

Originally Posted by roseleigh7

This is why a lot of people don't come forward with their bad therapy experiences. There are a lot of bad therapists out there. I thought I had one of the good ones, but it turned out very badly.

I had not thought about it that way Roseleigh. If I wonder if some of these posts are real, how much more might someone who has never had any experience with mental health issues or T doubt them. Understand, I have never said to anyone here that I doubt what they are saying is true. It just seemed that some of what I was reading lately was so awful that I wanted to believe that a T couldn't possibly act that way. But it seems that many do and it is, as I said, a scary thing.

[GeorgiaGirl413]

Originally Posted by Perna

Don't forget this is a "specialized" site and we are not a general population. We are going to have more people concerned with certain issues than the general population. I have to remember that with the SSI and SSDI and insurance sections, etc.

That's true Perna, and I do understand that. Guess I was more naive than I thought. Just wanted to believe that all T's were good and wouldn't take advantage of a vulnerable person in their care. Seems I was wrong.

[elliemay]

Originally Posted by Asiablue

Therapists are being paid to know better tho Elliemay. Or at least to handle things absolutely with the client at the centre of all decisions. Crap surgeons don't go into theatre with the intent of damaging a patient but if they do then they face severe consequences and we do not accept negligence from these Dr's and the same should apply to therapists.

Bad therapists that is; unethical therapists, under-educated therapists, immoral therapists, lazy therapists, and just wholly mentally unfit therapists are practicing every day in an industry that is fairly unregulated- especially in the U.K and really counselling is in its infancy in terms of mental health care so really we are all guinea-pigs so there is going to be casualties unfortunately.
The problem is as always when dealing with vulnerable people, that the power deferential and the nature of the confidentiality needed, allows therapists to operate for a long time without ever being reported or discovered to be negligent. Many therapists will close ranks on a client who complains. Every therapist knows of a crap colleague that they wouldn't refer their dog to let alone another client yet won't go as far as reporting them.
The whole industry needs a shake up and an environment of transparency and regulation. Therapist's often trespass into areas of psychology they have no right being in ie trauma, many profess to deal with trauma cos it's a fashionable buzzword right now that gets them work, but most wouldn't recognise trauma if it came up and slapped them. You see it on this board all the time, clients being flooded by the original trauma because their therapist isn't managing/titrating how the client processes it all. Trauma is a very specialised field not to be F-u-c-k-e-d with by toy therapists playing dress up.

It's tantamount to someone reading a physiology book about how the heart works and then professing they can do heart surgery. A lot of therapists can claim to help you with trauma yet have only really went on a three day course and maybe read a couple of books. Is that really who you want tinkering with your heart and soul?

Transparency is always always a good thing. Any service industry could use a good shake-up every now and then.

No one is going to argue that there are some crappy ones out there, but I do think there is some debate over what constitutes crappy. What is crap to me is a miracle for another.

We've seen it right here on these boards in fact. Different approaches lead to different outcomes according to the person.

I would *freak out* if my current therapist tried to hug me (and very likely file a complaint or something) but for others, it's an essential part of their healing.

Are there iatrogenic outcomes of therapy? Absolutely. There can be, and often is, with any intervention. Does malpractice occur? Absolutely.

[Daeva]

Oh yeah they are real.

In my interventions/counselling class we learned that the most common reason a T loses their license is because they are sleeping with their client. She said it's more common than it should be. Also, think abotu the ones never even caught

[archipelago]

I've been surprised too by some of the things I've read here so I understand the reason behind the thread. My actual experience has been quite the opposite. In fact, it seems sometimes like being hyper about ethics has been more of a problem, in the sense of not being warm and things like that. My shrink told me about a colleague who realized early that he was indeed attracted to his patient so he took immediate steps to refer her to someone else. What happened is rather unbelievable. The patient sued him for not treating her. Here he was doing the exact ethical and responsible thing and he got punished for it. So there are very ethical and responsible people in the field. Most of the stories I've heard have been more about how that is the case so I too feel shocked by the boundary violations not to mention actual sexual contact. "Do no harm" is the kind of oath they implicitly take. Well, I see an actual MD, but still…

[Rosondo]

Originally Posted by GeorgiaGirl413

There are so many stories on here about inappropriate actions on the part of T's that I'm beginning to wonder if folks aren't just making them up to see what the response will be. Are there really that many therapists out there who are willing to enter into totally inappropriate relationships with their clients? If there are then that is very, very scary.

I haven't read these stories but I can tell you that therapists acting unprofessionally or inappropriately are not rare. I was once kicked out by a therapist after three sessions. Like literally kicked out. He said "get out of here!" Obviously this is not exactly what you were talking about, in terms of inappropriate relationships but it was still a therapist doing inappropriate actions. I ended up writing several letters of complaint about this person, after weeks of nightmares and flashbacks and trying to deny I was traumatized. I did not try a therapist till three years later when I was finally willing to make myself vulnerable again.

There are several potential reasons for these things that I can think of right now. But most of them fit under the umbrella term of therapists being human. That means they have bad days and good days, can have financial problems, can find the client repulsive, can fall in love with a client, etc. They too can have mental health issues by the way. That was the case with my therapist. He was a burned out older therapist who, when I criticized him for not being caring, finally lost it.

That is not a justification by the way, just an explanation. Because it hurt me too much for me to justify it away. I had gone to him to deal with my parents being uncaring so can you imagine how hurtful it is to actually get rejected by a ****er who gets paid to say he cares. Could he not at least pretend? I wondered for months.

The other reason, aside from good therapists being human like the rest of us, is that the system is not perfect. Some people are just a bad match for becoming therapists. They really shouldn't become therapists and should not be permitted to practice. Yet they do.

My recommendations?
1. Check T's license. Respectable licensing board? Any successful complains about your T on the record?
2. Check the therapist's education and training. Is it a reputable college?
3. Check the T's current educational/training related activities. Does your T have a university/college teaching appointment presently? Attend conferences? Does research?
4. Preferably try to see a T who works in a bigger office with other therapists. They can check on each other and notice weird behaviors or patients leaving angry.
5. How many patients does your T have? Try to have a casual convo with some in the waiting room.
6. Listen to your intuition about something not being quite right. Be observant.

Though educated and trained at a great college, and licensed, my T had no present teaching or research appointment, was working alone, and had very few patients left. Most importantly, I did get a bad vibe about the place and the way he was looking at me and talking to me and yet I tried to not think about it. Big mistake. I could already feel he was frustrated the very first session but for some stupid reason I decided to ignore how he came across, which was the same in the second session. If you're screaming at your T and he looks a little shaken up or angry, that's normal enough. Your T is human after all. But not when you're having a normal convo and talk about your pain and anger.

I hope my experience or other people's experience does not make you not want to see a therapist. It's similar to doctors. I mean there are surgeons who leave behind surgical tools in a patient's body. But what if you are thinking about having a surgery? Well, you try to find a good surgeon. You do your best. Your absolute best. But leave the rest to God or chance or whatever you believe.