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#26
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![]() Lamplighter
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#27
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![]() Aloneandafraid
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#28
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Rain, here is what my book says about integration:
Integration can refer to 1) re-including your disowned personality parts into your inner family; 2) fusing two or more sub-selves into one during recovery; or 3) growing a common purpose and mutual respect, tolerance, loyalty, affection, and appreciation among all parts that comprise your personality. The latter process can also be called harmonizing. Here is the section on rescuing: Rescuing involves identifying exile parts stuck in the past, patiently gaining their trust, preparing a safe, nurturing inner place for them in the present, and helping them transfer safely out of their traumatic environment to join their inner-family teammates in the now. Rescuing paralyzed (often young) parts can help thaw frozen grief, heal old shame and seeing the world as it really is. A symptom of a successful rescue is having life-long fears, anxieties, and frustrations greatly recede. Rain, I was referring to the first or second part of integration in my earlier post to you. I don't know if that would help you or not but it seemed helpful when a bunch of parts fused in recovery for me. That of course is not to be confused with blending where the parts take over the adult self which is not desirable. The third definition of integration where it is like harmonizing is what seems to be the focus now in IFS rather than the first definition of integration. I'm not sure what the child parts going off to play is called. I'm not sure if that is different from rescuing. I sort of thought the child parts grow up when rescued but may be mistaken about that aspect of it. Eta: reading further in my book the rescued parts just transition from being stuck in the past to a safe place in the present. They can even be integrated or given a new role eventually but it sounds like new roles are more commonly given to protector parts. this all is a process for some rather than a one-time event. It doesn't look like they grow up as I was thinking. What I've mostly experienced is what he calls re-doing although a bit differently in inner healing. Here is how re-doing is explained: Re-doing is a powerful parts-work technique. It involves planning and rehearsing, then vividly recalling a past inner and/or outer trauma, and revisiting it with your present Self and any other desired, healthy parts or people. The goal is to intervene safely in the remembered traumatic experience, and help involved wu selves experience a safer outcome. IFS is complicated and has its own vocabulary. My book has a whole chapter just explaining the terms. That may be why some don't seem to get it and think somehow people aren't taking responsibility for their actions when I have never even heard of that happening. All I know is my experiences of this sort of therapy have been really helpful. I do hope you find the relief you are looking for rain. ![]()
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~ formerly bloom3 Last edited by blur; Nov 06, 2013 at 03:42 AM. Reason: Sub selves not sub elves ;) there are no elves in IFS! |
![]() Aloneandafraid, rainbow8, unaluna
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#29
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Thanks, blur. The only aspect of what you wrote that I know I've done often with my T is re-doing. I've gone over specific events and visualized a different, better outcome. That helped me a lot.
I'm trying to accept my feelings for my T but they are so powerful. I don't know if integration of my parts is relevant. I think I have to just keep talking about it with her. She told me she's just a "regular" person with strengths and weaknesses. I happen to be attracted to her physically and emotionally. It is what it is. Transference or real, it's there. I have to stop trying to fight it. I have to realize that T is right. I don't have to be ashamed of my feelings for her. We're not going to act on them, but use them to help me figure out how to have those feelings in RL with my H, if that's at all possible. |
![]() Lamplighter
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