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#1
Nov 04, 2013, 02:02 PM
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How to deal with my fatherly and romantic loving feelings toward x-pdoc? Obviously I cant talk to him about it as he has terminated me. I'm not sure I am prepared to bring it up first thing with new T, as I would prefer to deal with it on my own if at all possible but I need some tips? Or is it best to try to work through with a therapist? If it is best to work through with a therapist, how do I go about bringing it up?
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 Bill3
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#2
Nov 04, 2013, 02:17 PM
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Personally, I'd get started with my new therapist and see what unfolds. If it is pressing you even when you have a new person to talk to and work with, then it will hopefully naturally come up at the right time. You might find it starts to resolve on its own once you have that new person to work with. Maybe, maybe not. I don't think you need to make a decision about bringing it up before you go in. I think you'll instinctively know when the time comes.
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#3
Nov 04, 2013, 02:18 PM
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The fact that you are asking for "tips" here shows that you can't work through it alone. I think that professional help would be best. You don't have to talk with your new T about it "first thing", but I do think you should consider talking about it. In the meantime, maybe writing about your feelings would help. I know that it helps me to write these things down. Sometimes I can then give them to my T to read and it avoids the ackwardness of starting the conversation.
__________________
I have heard about your "normal" and it does not sound like fun to me. |
| Bill3, tinyrabbit
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#4
Nov 04, 2013, 02:20 PM
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Since you all do not see one another anymore, I would treat it like I would any crush I had on a man I'd seen/read about. One's imagination is a wonderful thing and sounds like you would like a mate or to have had a father like how you perceived your ex-pdoc to be. That's not a bad thing that needs to be "resolved".
__________________
"Never give a sword to a man who can't dance." ~Confucius |
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#5
Nov 04, 2013, 03:29 PM
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I would focus on the cause of the feelings - the unfulfilled needs behind them - rather than the person they happened to be directed at.
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| Bill3
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#6
Nov 04, 2013, 05:14 PM
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Well, I am starting to discover the why of the fatherly transference. I don't think I am ready to delve into the why of the romantic transference yet. Although I suspect it may be very similar to the fatherly transference...just on a different level.
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 tinyrabbit
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This is an old thread. You probably should not post your reply to it, as the original poster is unlikely to see it.|
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