[Alishia88]

I recently discovered how mad I am at my T for having been pushy and pressuring concerning some things in my life.

I think it depressed me when she did it, because it makes me anxious when I am pressured, I feel like I have to change something RIGHTAWAY, but really don´t know how.

It´s not like I´m scared in a phobic way to do what she wants, because I know I could. I just feel like it´s not good but harmful for me at this point.

I feel like I need to come back to things in my own time and I need to sort some things out inside of me before I change things in my outside world.

I feel that I need to find a connection to myself again first, and secure it.

I am really angry because she pressured me, because I have tried in the past doing things that I felt I didn´t really want or felt ready for, but I just ignored these feelings and went rightahead and did them anyway.
So I´m not really one to run away from a fearful situation.
I can go into them and be scared. But I don´t think it would do me good right now AT ALL.
Actually, running over my feelings is what got me INTO therapy and diverse disorders.

So this time, before I do something, I want to feel that I want it and that it is right for me at this point.

Ironically, a few weeks before she mentioned it, I got the feeling on my own that I might like to try it again. But then difficult events in my life teared me down again. And her pushiness didn´t help.

It makes me feel like I´m doing something "wrong" and I shouldn´t be doing what I´m doing. But that I have to "hurry up".

This totally ruins my sense of safety and calm (which I´m struggling with anyway....)



I don´t want to do things because I feel pressured to, but because I decide and actually WANT to

[gayleggg]

Be sure to tell her how you feel and if you can't tell her print this post and let her read it. You shouldn't be pushed beyond your comfort level. Take care of your self for a few days and relax.

[tinyrabbit]

Can I ask what makes you feel pressured? Is your T pushy, or do you react very badly to any suggestions made? I don't mean to seem like I'm invalidating you. Some Ts are pushy. But I used to think mine was, when really he just makes suggestions - he has told me over and over that I don't have to do anything except show up, I can tell him no or tell him where to stick his suggestions. In my case, the pressure isn't coming from him.

I just think it's worth working out where this feeling is coming from. If it's your T, what would help? Do you not want suggestions, or do they need to be made more carefully?

My problem is that I find it hard to say no, so suggestions freak me out.

[CrimsonBlues]

Hello Alishia88-I agree with gayleggg. I think you need to go at your own pace and follow your instincts about what you are ready for or not ready for. And, as gayleggg wrote, I would talk to your therapist about what you are feeling. This is your therapy and your therapist needs to respect your timing-but they also need to know that you feel pushed and pressured. You are not doing something wrong, you are taking care of yourself and that is a great thing. Your last sentence is particularly excellent-that is self care!