I talk and act like a child in every session. It starts a few minutes after I get there. I'm not even young...let's say I'm over 30.

I've read that the nature of the therapeutic setting can lead to regression, but I find it hard to believe that most people would do this. Is this more common with trauma survivors? Anyone else here experience this? It must be unappealing for a grown woman to act like this; yet, I don't think about it (I don't think about how I will act or not act). It just happens. Why?

[Nerak67]

With my old t where I had serious maternal transference I always felt like a little needy, whiny kid. I think I sounded like it to because sometimes when I would say something she would ask how old I feel. And I'm a lot older than you! It is weird.

Yes. I regress nearly every session. Starts when she shuts the door and I snap back into adult mode on the drive home. t says it's a normal part of the process. A while back there was a thread..real age vs age in therapy...you might be able to find it in a search-not sure. Happens to a lot of people.

[unlockingsanity]

Originally Posted by Autumn Skies

I talk and act like a child in every session. It starts a few minutes after I get there. I'm not even young...let's say I'm over 30.

I've read that the nature of the therapeutic setting can lead to regression, but I find it hard to believe that most people would do this. Is this more common with trauma survivors? Anyone else here experience this? It must be unappealing for a grown woman to act like this; yet, I don't think about it (I don't think about how I will act or not act). It just happens. Why?

I think, for me, it happens because when we talk about difficult times as a child, I think part of me reverts to that stage. I'll nod or shake my head instead of saying yes or no, for example. I think it happens because T is sort of filling up those spaces on where I missed out on things. I missed out on having someone as a child to talk to about things that were happening, so when I'm with someone who's helping me, it's like I return to that stage to get filled up. Sort of like so I can get through it like I should have, and then I can move forward.

Your thread really gave me a lot of personal insight....thank you.

Thanks for chiming in, Nerak67, Jersey2.0, unlockingsanity.

Do you feel the same age all the time, or does it fluctuate? I always feel the same age, although for me, I can't pinpoint the exact age. It's more of a range.

"I think it happens because T is sort of filling up those spaces on where I missed out on things. I missed out on having someone as a child to talk to about things that were happening, so when I'm with someone who's helping me, it's like I return to that stage to get filled up."

That's really insightful. Maybe that is why I do it too.

I was also thinking how, when looking back to when I was a child, I always felt like an adult. I don't remember ever feeling like a child. It's really strange how things are totally 'reversed'.

Hopefully I won't regret saying this later, but I actually enjoy feeling like a child and look forward to spending time with T.

I'll look for that thread, too.

[ultramar]

Do you feel your T interacts with you as if you were a child? If so, this might contribute. I would just think that if a T talked to a client as an adult, it would be difficult to maintain that state?

I've felt like a child on occasion, maybe several times in 4 years -though I can't say I'm sure how that has manifested itself. It was related to what I was talking about, the dynamic at that moment. I can't feel like that if I'm talking about a current work situation, for example, though.

Originally Posted by ultramar

Do you feel your T interacts with you as if you were a child?

That's a really good question. But no, it happened with my last T too.

Now that I've read these responses and thought about this some more, I think that part of me appears when it feels safe. T makes me feel so accepted and safe.

The freedom of being unfiltered, uncensored, I think is why it appeals to me. It feels good.

I still can't get my mind wrapped around the fact that I only remember feeling like an adult when I was a child. Maybe this part of me has been hiding behind the walls of conscious.

[purplejell]

I can relate to feeling grown up as a child, Autumn Skies. I found it hard to relate to kids my own age, and easier to relate to adults. I think some kinds of traumatic experiences make you grow up too fast, but not in a healthy way, so part of you stays stuck at that younger age. I feel like a kid in therapy a lot too.

[Freewilled]

"I was also thinking how, when looking back to when I was a child, I always felt like an adult. I don't remember ever feeling like a child. It's really strange how things are totally 'reversed'."

I feel the same way. I have this one memory sequence where I'm on the school bus sometime in early elementary school and I'm very worried about my father's feelings, to the point of tears. I don't even remember why I was so concerned about him (?) Just felt overly responsible for his emotional state, I guess. I dont have much memory from early on, but that one has stayed with me.

Anyway, I never was able to relate well with my peers. I was always told I was so mature and quiet; well-behaved. I was really very depressed. I contemplated death from an early age...

When I am with my T, I often feel like a child too. I'm embarrassed by it, but my T is so accepting. I don't like feeling needy though - I loathe it. It's hard....

[lightcatcher]

Yup I have found myself becoming a ratty teenager. I feel sorry for T after a session like that.

[ScrewedUpMe]

Originally Posted by Autumn Skies

I actually enjoy feeling like a child and look forward to spending time with T.

Me too if I am honest!

It's not that I suddenly have a 3yr old voice. But my unmet needs from birth onwards all coming running to the forefront and a childlike defence mechanism kicks in, ie, refusing to talk, folding arms etc. and it feels so wrong because I'm an adult now.
But that's why it no longer wks for me to live an unexamined life.
Until we resolve our wounds, they love on in our adult bodies.

[tinyrabbit]

I do this too. Mainly seem to go to age 5-6 and age 14-15. I've always wondered what magic secret Ts learn that somehow makes this happen. I have only felt like my present day self twice in almost a year of sessions.

Originally Posted by purplejell

I think some kinds of traumatic experiences make you grow up too fast, but not in a healthy way, so part of you stays stuck at that younger age. I feel like a kid in therapy a lot too.

I think you're right. I still wonder if I have the emotional maturity of an 11 year old.

Sorry to hear that you can relate, too.

Originally Posted by Freewilled

I feel the same way. I have this one memory sequence where I'm on the school bus sometime in early elementary school and I'm very worried about my father's feelings, to the point of tears. I don't even remember why I was so concerned about him (?) Just felt overly responsible for his emotional state, I guess. I dont have much memory from early on, but that one has stayed with me.

Anyway, I never was able to relate well with my peers. I was always told I was so mature and quiet; well-behaved. I was really very depressed. I contemplated death from an early age...

When I am with my T, I often feel like a child too. I'm embarrassed by it, but my T is so accepting. I don't like feeling needy though - I loathe it. It's hard....

..sounds like enmeshment...that's often how people feel when relating with someone who has narcissistic traits.

Yeah, I was always told I was responsible and 'good'. ha. I, too, was depressed. Actually deprived.

It was nice hearing from you. I hope it feels less shameful as you go along in your therapy journey. I know it's hard.

Originally Posted by lightcatcher

Yup I have found myself becoming a ratty teenager. I feel sorry for T after a session like that.

T is likely ok, even used to that.

My child-like state is very spontaneous and curious and enthusiastic. It doesn't get bratty... though I get like that as an adult!

Thanks for sharing.

Originally Posted by tinyrabbit

I do this too. Mainly seem to go to age 5-6 and age 14-15. I've always wondered what magic secret Ts learn that somehow makes this happen. I have only felt like my present day self twice in almost a year of sessions.

Magic T - maybe Safe T??

I can say mostly the same. Feel like 'me' only a few times...

Originally Posted by ScrewedUpMe

Me too if I am honest!

ha. Thanks for being honest too! What's the point of T if we can't be honest anyway????

Originally Posted by _Mouse

It's not that I suddenly have a 3yr old voice. But my unmet needs from birth onwards all coming running to the forefront and a childlike defence mechanism kicks in, ie, refusing to talk, folding arms etc. and it feels so wrong because I'm an adult now.
But that's why it no longer wks for me to live an unexamined life.
Until we resolve our wounds, they love on in our adult bodies.

I like what you said here, Mouse. Yes, until we are resolved...for me though, my childlike state seems the opposite; not defense, but vulnerable and open. And innocent; uncorrupted. (not to make it sound like a fairy tale, but it is what it is...)