[Butterflying]

I'm broken hearted. My husband died 3 weeks ago. My work is changing ins companies. My T doesn't accept that company. I would have to pay $120 up front. I've seen him at least 10 years. Same with my pdoc. Would gave to pay $100 up front My T said today that he wants the best for me-- he knows I can't afford him (he said that ). I'm suddenly a single mom, sole bread winner, etc. my T admitted the only people that can see him are wealthy. He said he isn't really proud of that--but he isn't offering me any deals either.

I can't stop crying. Lost my mom in May, my husband 3weeks ago, and now my long time T and pdoc. I guess I should understand he doesn't want to lose money. It's hard to understand how easy it is for him to walk away. The relatuinship really isn't much I guess. It's just particularly hard after losing family members. My support is falling out from under me. I'm going to fall and crash with no one to help pick up the pieces. I'm so lost and so sad. I'm grateful you all are here to talk to.

[hannabee]

So sorry for all of this. Can you possibly get some help from his social security? Good luck and try to hang in there, things will get better.

[trdleblue]

Can you try to look at groups in the area for those who have lost someone?

[gayleggg]

I'm so sorry about mom and husband. It sucks that you are losing you t and pdoc. Call your new insurance and get a list of providers as soon as you can. You will have to start new but at least you'll have somebody to help you.

[Nerak67]

I am so sorry you are going through so much. Is this the same t who wasn't very supportive when your husband died? I know it is hard after so much time but maybe you can find someone who will be more supportive.

I've switched therapists and I founf that each relationship is different and each offers good things... My 2nd therapist was better for me than the first... You have sometime before Jan 1st...even though its sad...maybe you could start looking now....and be all set...

[pbutton]

You have a lot to handle right now.

I can tell you that I have also had to involuntarily switch T's. It wasn't fun, but a new T brings a new perspective, and, with time, you will hopefully benefit from a change.

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I really feel for you. I can see why this would be overwhelming. Those are all huge losses.

They say it is not the best time to make any major decisions in your life when you've just been hit with a loss like this. Yet - you are being forced to do the difficult task of rebuilding your support system right now, which is hard under any circumstances. It doesn't seem fair that you need to find a new treatment team right now, or that your prior therapist is abandoning you like this. Not good!

If I had to pick a new therapist in your situation, I think for me it would seem too hard. I'm so sorry for that. But maybe you can give yourself a break here? Maybe you can only take a little step right now, and save the big decisions for later? Just pick a new therapist from your insurance list - just anyone - and let the person know that this will be temporary? Maybe only do the easy step of looking them up on line and don't put any pressure on yourself to try to find a true replacement for your long term therapist right now. Just make yourself a deal that whoever you pick for now will be there for you for only XX months to just help you deal with the loss, and then you can do the work to find the right therapist for you later when you are more able?

I encourage you to reach out and find a therapist to help you through the grief of the loss of both your family members and your long term therapist.

I'm so sorry.

Turtle

[Rive.]

He’s not proud of it, yet doesn’t change a thing, nor does he seem overly willing to accomodate?! Esp. seeing a client of 10 years who is clearly struggling and in need. This smacks of hypocrisy. If he were not proud, he would (could?) have tried to do something about it imo.

So sorry you are feeling another loss and such lack of support from this T. Could you check out any grief counsellors, support groups or any alternative Ts? You deserve somebody who is there for you.

[growlycat]

I wish I could say something more helpful than I'm sorry.

Sorry you are struggling butter flying you have suffered extreme losses. I really dislike how your t is not being there for you when needed most. A few weeks ago you posted about a rupture and I think this has come as a blessing in disguise. Now you have to leave him and find a better t, best of luck and mind yourself

[mixedup_emotions]

(((( Hugs )))))

You have lost so much, and I can imagine how devastating that must feel. I can relate to much of what you're going through.

Would it be possible to cut back on your sessions to maybe once a month while you find a new T and establish a new relationship? That way, the loss may not feel as sharp.

[Butterflying]

Thank you for all the replies. I feel supported by all of you. I guess I have no choice but to find someone else. There is also a grief group I can go to. I just have to get ahold of the therapist who runs it. It's all unbelievably difficult. He said he was thinking of what is best for me when suggesting I see someone closer to my home. Maybe I need to surrender to this change like I had to surrender to the fact that I lost my husband without warning.

[Petra5ed]

You've just been dealt some ****, and in my opinion this is one of those times you need to pull from all the self-compassion you have and do as many good things for yourself as you can (like going on walks, trying a support group, talking about it, get enough rest, writing about it, have that ice cream . It takes time to process the death of loved ones.

As far as the T, I think it will be hard, but if you could build a connection with a new T I think that will start to lessen the pain. I'm sorry you're going through this.

PS - F your T.

I am so sorry. It seems like when it comes right down to it they don't really care at all.

[Aloneandafraid]

I am so sorry for your losses. I don't know what to say except I am thinking of you and I hope you can find the support you really need. Take good care of yourself. My deepest sympathy.