[Switch]

So, I run into this problem with T's all the time, and this one is particularly bad at it and I don't know what to do.

I have never dealt with an abusive relationship I've had in the past. Actually, a few of them, and whenever it comes up in T I am distracted away from the feelings in exchange for more "pleasant" conversation such as upcoming exams.

I'm to scared to tell her I want to talk about it, but I do, even if it means I end up a mess walking out of that office. Especially since it's been surfacing again.

But that's not all. She's also told me that she, like me, can take too much on and has to be careful about hearing too much from someone because it hurts her, because she, like me, is overly empathetic. WTF!? YOUR A GOD DAMN THERAPIST!!!

All I want is someone to get me through the **** that I'm dealing with in life now, and when that's done (it's done btw), help me deal with my past. But instead I get obviously distracted and talk about my exams, then go home and stare down my old blades and a pile of pills and keep telling myself no, I can get through this without them while listening to songs about rape and hurting yourself.

I am so lost with this right now..... though she's just left for a three week vacation, so I can't even say anything.

And my case manager is sick and I haven't been able to get ahold of her...

[gayleggg]

Sounds like you need a new therapist that doesn't have her own set of problems hanging up your progress. I know it's hard to change but it's better than getting poor help.

[Switch]

Problem is I cant afford anyone else. :/ She was recommended to me by my last T, who was amazing but only 16 sessions, and she gave me a massive discount.

Though I feel that you're right this is getting out of hand. I feel like every time I try and say something she needs to tell me something she's been though that relates.

[gayleggg]

That sucks.

[BlessedRhiannon]

When I was struggling to stick with the difficult topics, I emailed my T and asked her if she could help me to just stay focused on one single topic in our next session. I told her what I wanted to talk about, and asked if she could just let me tell my story and listen. If she had questions or specific things she thought we should explore, we could do that when I was done. My T thought it was a great idea for me and helped me to do that. I managed to tell her what I needed to, and then we talked about it a bit. I started to get overwhelmed and told T that I needed to change subjects because it was becoming too much. She helped me get grounded in the present and we changed subjects with the agreement that we would try again in the next session.

Is that something you think maybe you could try with your own T?

[ScrewedUpMe]

Originally Posted by Switch

She's also told me that she, like me, can take too much on and has to be careful about hearing too much from someone because it hurts her, because she, like me, is overly empathetic.

WHAT?! That doesn't sound at all helpful. My T once told me she is sensitive like me (as in sensitive to criticism or such from others). I found that hard to deal with because it made me worry about offending or hurting her even though she always told me she was really strong and could handle anything. I have got over it though as I have been with her a very long time and so am naturally getting to know her better over the years and I know she cares alot about me. But I really don't like your T saying that she has to be careful about what she hears?! That's a bizarre thing for a therapist to say as that is what they are paid for and trained to do. Even if it is the truth, that is her own stuff to deal with at supervision, not to tell her clients. I would feel anxious hearing that and conscious of not over-burdening her. And you shouldn't feel like that. Is there a chance of letting her know how that felt to hear? Perhaps she could then clarify which might help? I hope you manage to sort it somehow if you are not able to find a new T.