Choices

A note to my T, this is where I am at, any thoughts?

Hi, if you see this then it will help us tomorrow and if you don't maybe my writing it will help me remember. What has helped me the most broadly in our work has been the self affirmations? Whatever you call it. So I had a major PTSD trigger on fri. I reacted, obsessed, did the whole thing. At some point I wish I could have sat down and said I am not in danger. I can be peaceful, I can care for my body, I can wish this woman well despite....The other person who was hurt has resources and can be ok.

With my body stuff, I can feed and nurture my body. I can pay care to it. I need to not focus on what I am not doing but on what I have the power to do. I hope this makes sense.

When you give me the words to say in my head I feel I am carrying you and your permission and wisdom with me. I feel like I can believe the words and I can stop and think when I am reacting to something.

My job damaged me a lot I realize. The PTSD stuff was really bad there, always afraid I was going to "get in trouble". Some work around that is good too. I took good care of my clients. I cared deeply and respected them. I am human and I made mistakes. My motives were not to harm but to help so I can forgive myself.

My life, I can choose how to greet the world. I can choose how I will react. I want to be loving and present. I want to be here now.

People, even though I may know they have their own agendas and are not working for the best etc. I can say, they are trying as much as they can in their lives with their circumstances. I can try to fully listen instead of getting tripped on their power issues, turn it around to my benefit. Ok, so you feel thus and such, what do you think is the best move?

I need to choose to say only positive things of others. When they do things that are really wrong I need to evaluate, can I do anything about this? Why do I want to? Can I phrase it in a positive?

Sounds good to me. I'm always envious of people who can express themselves like that and also have the guts to actually share it with their T. I'm way too chicken for that. Plus I don't make sense when I try to explain things. Seems like you know where you're going. Good for you.

WW, that sounds very good to me. Very much like the way I think my T wants me to be thinking and writing, but I only manage it once in a while.

Rap

Wisewoman....what a wonderfully insightful letter...it shows so much growth and compassion, not just for yourself but for how you interact with others...your words convey a deep sense of being centered, with who you are, inside, inspite of the traumas and the pain of living with PTSD...it is very moving...thank you for sharing it.

Eva

Thanks, I have been stuck and realized this is the single most helpful thing for me in the past.

T got it immediately. She was right there and had some great ideas and technigues. Yay!