[Onyx999]

Hey all. I havent written in for several weeks, but here's the update. I've decided to relocate after several months in the Northern VA area. The move has not proven useful for me in terms of finding a job or advancing my career goals in any way.

Im headed off to the south west in about a month. Very happy about the move, but I have made friends here. I also found a great therapist whom I've made progress under. I don't know when our last session will be, but it's coming. I have never stuck with therapy long enough in the past to feel any real attachment, but this time it's very different. Our interaction is good and I've grown fond of her, despite my better judgement.

Can you guys give me feedback on what the last session is supposed to be like. How have others wrapped it up in the past? What can I expect? I'm afraid I might get emotional and cry. I have cried several times in sessions, but if I cry this time, it will be over the actual therapist. If it happens, it happens. I'm hoping it doesn't.

Feel free to chime in and tell me your experiences. I dont want to be caught off-guard.

[Perna]

When I terminated with my therapist on Gallows Road both she and I were retiring and I was going on a trip to Europe and both of us were moving, etc. I would, if you can, stay focused on your move and future, maybe share what you have learned while seeing this T and what you plan to do to continue making mental health improvements. It is basically like any other session but there is some emotional weight in it being the last with that person, bitter sweet like graduating from high school?

[Onyx999]

Perna on Gallows huh? I know where that is. I went to a county facility on that street for a psych doc earlier in the year. Once I was back on meds, it was he who suggested therapy at the place I met my fabulous therapist. And discussing what I've learned is precisely what I was going to do in the last session. That's a great bit of advice, and thank you.

I am excited to get out of here for a place I can actually enjoy living in. So there's not a lot negative in all this. I don't know if I want another therapist after this one though.

I've made some nice progress during therapy. I discussed things, I've never talked about before. And it was all needed. It's been a tough few months and a hard year. I hope next year is better.

Thanks so much for your input.

[Perna]

Hopefully your T will mumble on about the changes she has seen in you, etc. It gets a little awkward after a bit since it's not like you are going to go into anything in detail that might leave a can of worms open. I'm not even sure if we stayed the whole "hour" but I just burbled on about my future plans and then dealt with most of any grief I had myself, later; we had known our termination date for quite awhile and I had been working on that for quite awhile and made my own "bridges" to the future so I could get across the termination gap, etc. I did, once I was in my new home and home from vacation, etc. have some online therapy for a month or two, just email discussions, etc. and that evened things out for me, smoothed over some rough edges, made a lintel for the door between the two parts of my life, got me into and use to my new routines.

[Rzay4]

I have never terminated with any of my Ts I am not ready for that. Though I wigs you the best of luck. I agree with Perna on how they'll talk about your progress,etc.

[Onyx999]

Hi again. had my session earlier this evening. I brought up termination. You guys were right, she did go on about changes she'd seen in me. so predictable these folks are, right? But seriously, I actually brought that subject up by discussing the changes I'd seen in me first. she just expanded.

We've agreed on the termination date. It will be in November. I'm very excited about my prospects in a new state. I can't wait.

@Rzay4, what do you mean you've never ended therapy with a therapist? Do you just play the therapist field and never settle on just one?

[Rzay4]

I guess you say that. I have a long term T whom I've been in out of therapy with for about 8 years. Then I met my second T when I had a problem with my friend and needed to see a T with a particular speciality. Then my third now Ex T is covered under my insurance. Last but not least my fourth T who also is covered my insurance whom I met in group therapy.

I'm afraid of termination, as it's like a loss. I've had too much loss in my life.

Glad things went well.

[Onyx999]

You know whats interesting? My therapist told me she does not like to use the word "termination." I agree it sounds like you're firing someone. It has been very helpful. I know I will be all sad like a little kid for a few days after the last session, but ultimately, I'll be fine.

@rzay4. I'm so sorry about the loss you've endured. I don't know the details, but hopefully you will one day have those issues under control where you can be more comfortable dealing with loss.

[Petra5ed]

Just a thought but maybe your T could do video Skype sessions as needed after you move. It's very easy and cheap to do. Or if they aren't tech savvy maybe a phone session or two? I personally would like a slower let down so to speak if I was in your situation. It's never fun to abruptly end a relationship with someone you care about.

[nonamecomestomind]

Second to last session I basically cried off and on the entire time. Not boo-hoo audible crying, but pretty much teary eyed throughout the session. I don't think she knew what to say because I did NOT want to do the "you've improved in this area, this one not so much, what seemed to work, what can I take away from our time together" jazz. She wondered if I felt like she was abandoning me, NO, I'm just sad.
Last session we pulled up my facebook, looked at funny things and photos of my daughters, etc. I just wanted it to be light, let her know that yes, I'm going to be fine without you. I did say thanks and that I would miss her.... and I do.

[Onyx999]

hi there @noname (that's cute ) I think I'll be pretty good. If I need a little pick me up, it will have to be with another therapist, she will be out for a few months. But that is a great idea. Thanks for your feedback.