Scared I messed up via Google

I really like my therapist. In fact, I'd say I honestly love my therapist, in the sense that if something happened to hurt them/or their family it would be very upsetting to me. At one point I felt "obsessed", Googled them, and after not really finding anything finally gave up that bad habit. I justified it to myself as wanting to know who they truly were, since I was taking life advice and letting them tinker in my mind, and also feeling very vulnerable.

Well... weeks ago during conversation my T said something about having to be in a certain part of town that week. It wasn't that personal of them to mention really, it related to what we were talking about, but somehow this tidbit stuck with me, why would they need to be there I wondered. I thought about it later, combined it with other small clues from over the months and wondered if my T was currently being sued. All of this theory was based on mostly nothing, but a hunch, so I didn't really dwell on it. After forgetting about it for a few weeks I just remembered, and decided to search the current civil case load. Lo and behold, they are being sued. It's nothing major, nothing that makes me think less of the T as a person, i.e. it's not a criminal case or something like that.

My question is, how bad is this? I'm scared of losing my T and having to start over. I went from mega depression to doing good with this one. Now I'm worried I'm going to sabotage it with this. What should I do, and if I say something, what outcome should I expect?

I would say don't worry about it, don't confess it, and just go on with your life and therapy. It is not a sin to google.

I agree totally. It's okay to be curious. It doesn't mean you have to confess or feel bad about it.

I think that you have every right to know that since it does concern you and the place you are going to for Therapy.

I can remember when I was in a poll of jurors (but didn't get selected to be on the jury for the trial) for a civil case involving a cosmetic dentist and went online and tried to look for more information (but really didn't find anything), I don't know what the verdict in the case was (or even if they settled out of court) however I know that he still practices (since I drive pass by the office with his name on it all the time) so I am guessing that either he won or they settled out of court.

I had something similar happen to me - I got curious, googled T, hit the jackpot, and then freaked out about telling T. I couldn't live with the guilt I felt in doing that search, yet, I tried to justify it by saying that if it's on the internet, it's open to anyone.

In the end, I did confess to T, and we had a great conversation about the motivation behind my search. We also agreed (I agreed) that if I was curious about anything else, I'd ask, instead of head to google, and T would respond appropriately. That was three years ago and we're still going strong!

I wouldn't have been able to face T after finding the google goodies, I'd have been so fearful I'd say something accidentally, that I couldn't live with the guilt. It ended up working out for the best, in my case. I wish you luck with whatever you choose.

It might be good to ask your Therapist about certain things, but at the same time Google (and other sites) can be valuable as well. For instance your Therapist may have received demerits or disciplinary action at a place they were at before (or even the place they are at now) and they would probably never tell that to you but you certainly have a right to know it.

I think your over thinking it a little. Odds are nobody will go to jail or anything. Dr's, in all fields, get sued a lot and for every reason under the sun. It happens, your therapy and therapist will be fine!

Frankly I Google and do research on all my doctors if I have enough info about them. Helps me to find out what they professionally present themselves as and I know of at least one site that gives you the history if malpractice and other professional information. Not always the most current info.

It depends though if it was minor or major.

With the Dentist who was being sued for the case which I was screened for I knew that it was for Dental Implants but nothing beyond that, I would have obviously had known more had I been selected to be on the jury.

Also these things can take several years to make it to court, I sort of remember them saying that the incident for which the Dentist was being sued for happened in 2006 although the trial which I was screened for didn't happen until late 2010, and I assume that he was still able to practice in the time in-between.

Although I do know someone who got sued for something major and ended up being liable for several million dollars:

A former classmate of mine went for a Liposuction operation and ended up dying 2 days after it due to a ruptured blood vessel, the Plastic Surgeon was found liable for $15 million in punitive damages and $5 million in other damages. The incident happened in 2001 but he wasn't convicted until 2008 (and as far as I know he was also still able to practice in the time in-between).

You have done nothing wrong - everyone googles their T. The only potential problem is for you. You had mentioned becoming obsessed. I've been there myself with the online investigative work. Like you, one website leads to another, you start connecting the dots and before you know it, you know a little too much. I found it so strange because you feel closer to them with each detail you find out, but they have no idea. It's not really a good place to be. Your T will be fine, but just take care of yourself. And don't confess unless you know what you want the outcome to be. Situations become so magnified when we overthink them. Unless you paid for the info or something along those lines, don't beat yourself up about it. It's really ok��