HELP: I Texted My T/Is She Upset w/Me?

Friday I had a really good session with my T. Ya know, one of those sessions where you actually talk about what's going on with you and don't feel judged... When I first saw her, I noticed she looked nice. She always looks nice, but Friday she looked extra nice. It's not the first time she's looked especially and I never tell her when she does. Once she wore a pair of boots I really liked with a longish skirt and I didn't complimented her for them. You see, I don't give or receive compliments very well. It really bugged me when I didn't compliment her boots. I thought about it for days and decided I'd do better in the future. However, when I left Friday, I still hadn't complimented her. On the way home I was upset with myself for having said nothing. So, I texted her and told her she looked extra nice that day and I should have told her when I was there. I haven't heard from her. Not that I need a "thank you", but not hearing anything makes me think and feel like I did the wrong thing. Maybe it's not appropriate for me to text her about things like that... You know, boundaries. I've been really upset just waiting to find out that I didn't do the wrong thing. She may have left her work phone at work, but I wouldn't bet on it.
She's an awesome T and I'm lucky to have her and I'm freaking. The more time that passes, the worse I get. Luckily/unluckily, I have another session on Monday... Until then, Panicking...

Also, I made a "note to self" in my journal that if I ever wanted to compliment someone again....DON'T!

What do you guys think?

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Do y'all usually text between sessions?

Has she been okay with it before?

Please don´t feel like you can´t compliment a person again. The difference is that she is your T and you texted something ( that was really sweet) but not related to you being in T. I am sure she´s not at all upset but may have a difficult time writing something back, without maybe crossing a boundary. She will probably thank you the next time you see her and may want to discuss it.

Good for you for giving her a compliment. Therapy as you know and T´s have certain boundaries, so don´t feel upset if she doesn´t write you back.

Yes, I can text her but usually they've been more for updates or to tell her to check her email.
She and I have had a really good therapeutic relationship.

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I expect your relationship is still intact.

She may be waiting to talk with you about it face to face.

It could be that she didn't feel it warranted a response since it really wasn't therapy related.

Either way, try not to worry overly much about it (I know, easier said than done) while waiting for Monday's appointment.

Thank you for your response. It's difficult for me to wait because it feels like rejection. I don't give compliments because I always feel like they come off phony. I don't have close relationships with anyone outside of my immediate family. I don't reach out because I fear rejection, but I think most people just find me cold and aloof. When my T is caring and affectionate toward me, I find it difficult to respond in kind even when I'd really like to. I just now started reaching out to hug her sometimes before she reaches toward me. I don't know why I put myself out there. I can't take rejection. How do people survive this panic and turmoil?

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Yeah I agree with the other responses. Not necessarily that it wasn't therapy related, because probably technically everything is? But more because it's in kind of a gray area. You didn't really ask for anything from her, you just put something out there that is kind of undefined. If she were to answer back, it's like she would be doing your work for you? Stepping into your space, your half of the room; taking your initiative; taking the words out of your mouth? Of course, by the time I stop yakking she'll probably text back!

You know, the worst thing that I can think might happen is her questioning why you sent the email instead of saying something to her face. JMHO, I wouldn't worry about it because you were trying to be nice and trying to practice a skill on someone you felt was safe. I think that's a positive!

Hey SP hope your session today was ok - I'm a bit late to this, sorry, but had to post because I know if I were in your position, I would be bothered by no reply as I'd be subconsciously, if not even in full awareness, expecting some kind of polite acknowledgement or thanks.

I can understand your worrying that you'd overstepped the mark or offended her or something, but I wonder if somewhere inside you aren't also a teensy bit upset at her complete dismissal of what on your part was actually a brave thing to do?

Hopefully you managed to talk about and resolve this today though

Lamplighter... My session today went well. I actually found out that my T didn't have her phone this weekend. Thank you for asking. She saw my text this morning. She didn't think it was inappropriate. She thanked me. I told her how I was feeling this weekend but I didn't tell her why. I shut down and just couldn't, but ironically, I discussed my feelings but not the circumstances??? If your interested, I plan to post a thread about the lesson that I hope I learned.

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I don't think you should stress over it this much. While it is a little odd social rules wise to compliment someone in a text after you just saw them, I don't think it's offensive or "bad" in any way. It's just that a compliment is usually spontaneous or under the guise of spontaneity, but of course there are always exceptions. My guess is your therapist could have not responded because the message didn't call for a response, or maybe the therapist didn't know how to interpret your message (i.e. what motivated you to send it) and figured you could talk about it. Since you're thinking about it, I would just go in there and say flat out, sorry if my text seemed a bit weird, I've just really wanted to be able to compliment you and I cant seem to do it in person. Maybe she can help you work on it then? I have this same issue of not being able to compliment people I love, say I love you, show empathy. I've majorly improved by chipping away at it. Really does get easier every time you do it, but it will feel awkward at first for sure.

I get those thoughts all the time. I don't have my T's cell number but when I email her, I always feel guilty for it afterwards...afraid that I bother or annoy her. That's never been the case, though. I highly doubt she would be upset at receiving your text... she is probably just respecting the boundaries. Hang in there

Keep us posted!

Great to hear! I see you've already posted the thread, I've been along and added my short brief to the point reply

So pleased for you ((((((((((( SP ))))))))))))