[Asiablue]

Weirded out. My therapist assumed something about my past to do with my boundaries being violated. When i corrected her and said "no. i've never told you that. I've never said that." She explained what she thought i'd told her and some of the story is similar to what i might have said but i never told her about any boundary violation in that sense. I got a bit defensive about it and then kind of dissociated a bit and felt panicked. Because there has been that particular boundary violation in my life so she is right, but i just never wanted to tell her about it, or at least i wasn't ready to discuss it.

So now i wonder how she's got that info, has she just suspected it from what i've said, my history, and my art work maybe?? Now i just feel freaked out and really horrible. And worse, i told her she was wrong which is a lie, she's not wrong. And my reaction clearly demonstrates she maybe wasn't wrong. I should have just come clean at the time but i couldn't say the words. I don't know what to do, i just feel crap.

[Syra]

I wouldn't feel bad about telling your T she was wrong. I told mine he was lying once. And from my point of view, it made sense to see it like that. He explained. I thnk I believe him but I still wonder what he wasn't saying and why it came up. The important part of the story was that he wasn't angry about it - just curious why I thought that.

It's reasonable to think she was wrong in how she got to her conclusions, if she didn't KNOW it from you.

I don't think you have an obligation to come clean. You're entitled to do therapy at your pace. if you aren't ready, you aren't ready.

[skeksi]

I denied stuff to my T tons at first. When I later apologized for lying, he was very compassionate and said he didn't see it as lying at all--I just wasn't yet ready to tell the truth.

Therapists are flexible--they understand that their perceptions might be incorrect, and they also understand that it can be hard (especially at first) to be forthright. When you're ready to be honest, you will be, and I bet your T will be understanding. Go at your speed--she will, too.

[Asiablue]

it was just such a shock for me. I felt all dizzy and sick. I just feel bad that i told her she was wrong when she wasn't.

[archipelago]

Some therapists have an uncanny ability to see things. That's probably part of why they are in the field. Plus they've had lots of experience so they are used to certain ways people are and can fill in the gaps without actually hearing the story.

I can understand why it may feel creepy to have that happen. In another way though it could be taken as a positive in the sense that the therapist is in tune.

Whether or not you take that up is your own decision. I wouldn't worry about feeling like you are "lying." Clients "lie" to their therapists all the time; they practically expect that. It isn't really lying in the sense that it was protecting you so you didn't do it to be malicious, or anything like that. You were caught off guard and something natural kicked in. That's totally fine.

Asia, this makes a lot of sense. It sounds like you're struggling and maybe that means some of the crap is being brought to the surface so that it can be dealt with on your timeline. I hope you find peace in your own time.

[BlessedRhiannon]

Some T's are just amazingly insightful and excellent at picking up on the little clues we give them. There've been a few times where my T has come out with something about me, and my first impulse is to deny it, even if it's true. I very rarely speak before considering my words, so I often stop myself before I can deny it...but then I usually respond with "yes, damn it, that's correct Why do you have to be so insightful! I was happy over here in denial land!"

It's not too late to tell your T that she was right, if you think it's something you need to explore. In the next session, just tell here that you were shocked and struggling to admit she was right, but she was.

[Hope-Full]

I have actually flat-out asked how T was able to figure *that* out. It's uncanny and scary, at times, how T can pull things out of what seems like no where, that are very clearly in my past despite the fact that I thought I buried them so deeply. I think it's something Ts learn to do, they can take pieces of information we DO share, and put together the whole picture without us speaking it.

[Asiablue]

Originally Posted by Hope-Full

I have actually flat-out asked how T was able to figure *that* out. It's uncanny and scary, at times, how T can pull things out of what seems like no where, that are very clearly in my past despite the fact that I thought I buried them so deeply. I think it's something Ts learn to do, they can take pieces of information we DO share, and put together the whole picture without us speaking it.

i guess so. In that job i guess they've heard it all before and recognise certain similarities. But most don't just assume it as fact. Some might ask if it happened or think it but she really thought i'd told her that! Like she remembers me telling her that, and now i'm second guessing myself, did i tell her? But i wouldn't, cos i didn't want her to know. yuck i feel horrible.